How do you feel and what do you do to feel better?
Most Helpful Guy
(Incoming long winded rant that may or may not apply here lol.)
I thought about this.
I felt at some point really frustrated with myself and dare say had a sort of self-loathing from it. "Why am I awkward? Why am I so shy? Why can't I do this/that?" Whatever. We all want to a perfect in the end I suppose.
The only way to really change it for good is to change the mind's perspective on it. We may/may not be able to change the trait, but we can change our reaction to it. Anything else just treats symptoms.
in my opinion, what's something to realize is that perfection is a goal we can't achieve, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for it. I also believe self acceptance is important, but that doesn't mean you need to limit yourself to being stagnant and saying "I can't change."
Essentially, be happy with your current self now, and be happy with your future self too. Even if you do change into the ideal you imagine, realize that your present self still has a far many more positive points than negative points.
Also, some things we can't really change. That's alright too. I would say that it is these things that make us who we are as a person, and if we were to change things we would lose a sense of self. It's the combination of our good points and flaws that make us unique, like a passcode to a lock. Likewise, some core traits of ourselves that we think are negatives in our life may be more positive than we expect. Many things in life are double edged swords.
Throwing despair at ourselves or holding pity only causes us to go stagnant and gives us the exact opposite effect of what we desire. It leads us into the thought of "we can't change" and then to the thought of self hate... And self hate is not a good thing.
Some things in life are handed to us. Our presented choice may not be necessarily how to change it, but rather how to react to it.
Going back to your question, it's after these kinds of thoughts that make me feel ok with who I am today. There are things I can't change, though I can imagine an ideal. I strive for the ideal as well, but I have accepted who I am today as I accept any changes that come forth. I do not harbor the self loathing I once had, because I changed my mindset. I'm not perfect with it, but I don't claim to ever be.3
Most Helpful Girl
With Hard Work and Perseverance, and being Motivated and Strong Willed... Anyone Under this God Lovin' Sun, can Change and Arrange and RE-arrange.
If a Body, Anybody, wants to Make a "Change" in His or Her own life, its Mind over Matter, Wise or Not, That is the Key to Getting out of a Rough Nut Rut.
Good luck. xx1