Do you think confidence is easy to gain?

Does it depend on the person. Is it easy for you to gain? is it hard for you to gain?
I can't understand why someone can tell a person to gain confidence like it's an easy thing to do.

  • Yes
    13% (13)17% (21)15% (34)Vote
  • No
    51% (51)49% (62)50% (113)Vote
  • Depends on the person
    36% (36)34% (43)35% (79)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

1|1
29|56

Most Helpful Girl

  • Fake it till you make it.

    Even if you feel uncomfortable and unhappy in a situation it's better to pretend you're happy and having a good time. Because eventually you *will* be happy and having a good time. Then you'll have good and positive experiences to look back on and doing things and being confident will get easier. media.giphy.com/media/nwyqBwP65XCAU/giphy.gif

    1|2
    0|2

Most Helpful Guy

  • No, like most anything worthwhile is going to require work, now that being said, it is true that some people have a certain degree of "confidence" to start out with. I qualify this as "confidence" because sometimes it is really a false sense of self worth, now is this all bad? No, but it is important to note that there is a difference between confidence born of coddling (a parent telling their child they are great at everything) to be sure the former is a bit of an exaggeration, because clearly the child cannot be good at everything, however this is how that false sense of confidence is established. No where I'm going with that is the sort of confidence that comes from working hard taking your "lumps" as it were and knowing that your knowledge and consequent confidence has been earned as opposed to it being just given to you.

    With all of this in mind, the falsely confident child (over confident) can learn to replace his over confidence with genuine earned and respected confidence, but he or she for that matter is going to have to do the work required to earn that level of confidence.

    To be sure there are many other elements that go into what makes a person confident, but I have to restrict my thoughts to 2500 mere words, and there is nothing worse than having to stop the explanation of an idea in mid thought because you ran out of words. Just saying. ;-)

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 28

  • I said YES BUT... let me explain what I mean by that. About... mmm... a year or two ago... I randomly realized I had some self esteem issues that I didn't realize. I remember it hitting me like a high speed bus... I cried. A lot. All I could think was... old dogs 'can't learn new tricks'. That even if I wanted to... the habit was already heavily embedded in some way in who I was/am. Once something becomes a habit... you do it without realizing it. How was I gonna 'stop a habit' when I knew most of the time I wouldn't even catch it? But you know what happened? Merely by recognizing it was a problem and accepting it... well... I'm sure you've heard the adages. I started consciously recognizing when I was dissing myself... and I started giving myself more credit. It also resulted in respecting the same in others. When you learn to appreciate yourself in this way... and forgive yourself... you develop confidence without it becoming arrogance. You don't need to be better than others to consider yourself good. I really goes full circle and just like that... you easily recognize who respects you... and... really... snowball effect. So... ultimately... it takes a big change in lifestyle... but it's a lot easier than you'd think with just a few simple attitude adjustments. Don't give up or count yourself out before you've made an effort to be more 'you'. And remember... a good chunk of the people recommending it... either mean they think you should 'do things more like them'... or more like they think you should. Don't let them try to steer you into being a certain WAY to show confidence... because confidence comes from embracing who YOU are... not who someone else is. I have grown a LOT since this change... exponentially considering I only needed to change my direction to love myself and trust myself more.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Confidence was king of "forced" on me. I used to be very not confident in myself until a photographer found me and gave me a lecture about standing up straight, looking up when I'm walking, and looking people in the eye when I talk to them.

    I'll admit, it felt really weird for a few months but, after a while, you "fake it until you make it", and eventually, it comes naturally. Honestly, I tried going back to my old self, and couldn't figure out how I did that for so long. Like, how did I see where I was going when I walked? 😐

    1|1
    0|0
  • It depends on the person. No one said it was easy. I don't think anyone was born confident, as someone who used to be shy with crushes I know what it feels like. Its like being an extra in the background and your missing out on all the action. I was so bad that I couldn't even get near a crush. So I would admire from a distance. You can't overcome your shyness just like that. It takes time and patience, motivation and will power. Focus on what you want and need in life. Stop thinking as many negative thoughts and over thinking things. Cross that bridge when you come to it rather than getting all worked up and anxious. It will only make situations worse, try to stay calm and relaxed.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Depends , coz some people have no confidence at all. So it's more difficult for them to gain confidence in themselves

    Others only lack confidence in certain aspects of their lives. So It's easier for them to gain more confidence if they are actually confident in some areas of their lives

    It's much easier to gain confidence than self-esteem

    0|1
    0|0
  • I used to be the most shy and quiet girl in school. Throughout Elementary and Junior High, some of my teachers thought I couldn't understand or speak English because I was so quiet, but I was actually just extremely shy and private. As a result, I was put in an English as a second language class (loved that class, FYI. Best class ever). Then, the summer before high school, I decided to push myself out of my shell and auditioned for a summer singing camp. I passed, attended, and when I returned to school for high school, I'd transformed into a completely different person. I joined my school choir, I performed solo, made a band, and my whole life changed. To answer your question, no, it's not easy to gain, but, personally, it wasn't too hard either. It just took me a big push and the right time.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No from what I heard, nope, It is not easy but I believe it is not hard either.

    How to be confident?
    Risk, risk and risk, be bold, speak your mind, say what you think without being afraid of getting bad reactions from people. Act in a provocative way, stop comparing yourself with others, be outstanding, don't be afraid to be yellow in a crowd of colourless people.

    Do something that you are afraid of doing, look at life with a sense of humour, be tolerant to others and your own mistakes. And that's it - recipe of confidence.

    0|1
    0|0
  • You know i don't get this whole confidence thing. I was always told as a girl that you need to be confidant and that's also a quality you should look for in a guy, but honestly i never quite understood that. All i wanted was to be my self. Even today, i'm not the most confidant person, my nerves go crazy when i'm put on the spot... but i wouldn't have it any other way. I learn from it, make mistakes... but i never ever try to portray a false confidence.

    I also hear many girls say that they love to see confidence in a man. I never get that, actually when my guy approached for the first time... he was nervous as hell... but i knew his feelings were genuine.

    At the end of the day, i'm just me... confidant and unconfidance... just a natural person

    1|2
    0|0
  • Nope...
    The thing with people is, and this is just my opinion, either you had an upbringing and all of the people around you building up your confidence through your childhood and teenage years or tearing it down...
    It's next to impossible trying to build up your confidence once grown up.

    This is just my theory, mind you.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I gained confidence by faking it till I actually believed myself. It depends on your current level of confidence, if you have none at all I'd imagine it'd be very hard. But if you're the kind of person who has some confidence with people you know only, it will be easier to be confident in a wider range of situations by just putting yourself in different scenarios.

    2|2
    0|0
  • It's hard to gain but easy to knock down. I was put down a lot as a kid and teenager. Took me years to build up enough confidence just to look people in the eyes.

    2|3
    0|0
  • there are different types of confidence. The confidence that comes from persevering through affliction, trial and tribulation and a life time of experience and personal growth comes slowly. The confidence that comes from knowing your socially relevant and well liked can come in an instant - or it other cases come slowly as well.

    2|1
    0|0
  • It's not easy at all. When I was little, I was brought down all the time... it took me some time to realize that I'm not a bother to most people

    3|1
    0|0
  • Hard to say, my theory is praised you got from those around you when you did well.

    I got so much, i think it went over my head. :(

    1|2
    0|0
  • Depends on what it is for. When it comes to dating or meeting new friends, I have none. When it comes to everything else, I am fine. I always feel confident when it comes to accomplishing things, playing games, setting goals, things at work.. etc. When it comes to meeting guys, no because my face is ugly. I also have a hard time meeting new people because of my face.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I don't think so. You can't force it. Over the past few years I have gotten more confident in myself but I didn't realize it was happening and I didn't try to make it happen. It happened because I grew mentally and emotionally over time. Things happened to me good and bad that caused my perspective to change and I feel that I am more able to express my thoughts and feelings without feeling ashamed of them.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think it's not. It takes some time until you learn how to feel confident. It's not easy. You might have ups and downs during the process.
    And there will be always people who will try to bring you down.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's very hard to be confident, some people naturally have the confidence also. It takes work to gain confidence physically and emotionally

    0|2
    0|0
  • It's easy to maintain but hard to gain when you don't already have it

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not easy. Not impossible. You have to work hard to gain it, and it's a lifelong challenge.

    1|3
    0|0
  • Takes a lot of practice, positive support and influence along with extreme determination and how committed you are to figure it out

    0|1
    0|0
  • I'm extremely confident. Personally I think a positive will and drive for the future increases the odds of a good outcome. same with confidence and the willingness to go after or new things even if it's unfounded confidence based by nothing it can help you push yourself.

    0|1
    0|0
  • For me, the process of getting at least somewhat confident was really long and difficult.

    1|1
    0|0
  • Once you start building it, it becomes a bit easy

    0|1
    0|0
  • If you feel bad about yourself (body shape, social awkwardness, being shy) it can be really hard to except yourself which is needed for self confidence.

    0|2
    0|0
  • No at least not for me

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's hard for me to be confident. People give me compliments and tell me I have no reason not to be confident, but I have trouble gaining confidence

    0|1
    0|0
  • Not for me

    0|1
    0|0
  • Confidence confidence blah blah blah most people are insecure as fuck, not me of course :D Just be yourself and try to look comfortable in any social situation.

    0|1
    0|0

What Guys Said 55

  • I started to find confidence once I just stopped caring about what other people might think of me, of how I look, of what I say, my actions, etc. When I stopped giving myself something to worry about and just started to accept myself for who I am is when I felt like I could do anything in regards to the opposite sex or a job interview, etc.

    I'm still working on my habit of procrastinating, though.

    0|3
    0|0
  • Confidence is simply being who you are and knowing that's enough. Accepting yourself. Your wants and desires. Not being ashamed of that. Feeling confident (for me) always stems from letting go of caring about what other people think of me. I think back to when I was 14/15, when I let go of caring about how other people thought I looked.

    I brushed my teeth, shaved, dressed comfortably and worked out for me. I did things for my appearance, but I did it for me. I was the judge of how I looked and felt. I wore a lot of clothes I could workout in or just go run and play in. Past that I didn't give it a second thought. Spend a lot of time not caring how you look around others. Don't be afraid to look stupid doing or saying what you want and you will quickly be confident.

    It's really all just a process of accepting yourself for who you are, while at the same time doing things to improve because that's what you want for yourself. Not other people.

    0|2
    0|1
  • No. It's extremely difficult. You have to fight your fears, establish patterns of bravery, go against the grain, be daring, and stand up when you should be sitting down. Gaining confidence is not for cowards.

    0|2
    0|0
  • I think it is easy to gain for some people but really hard for the people who never had it during their younger years.

    I think a large part of it is how you look and how your parents raised you. Those factors influemce how easily you made friends and how people treated you when you were younger. Then in kinda snowballs and allows you to feel more confident in yourself, your social skills, and anything you want to try.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Confidence can only come about if you have positive track record at something. If you have a bad track record self doubt will kick in.

    It's kind of like school for example. If your consistently make straight A's you will have confidence you'll do well in an exam and not get nervous. If you've fucked up in the past then if you study your butt off, self doubt and nervousness will kick in because you've failed in the past and you know it's a possibility.

    0|1
    0|0
  • scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/.../...13241234_n.jpg
    With the help of your bros to hold you up, anything is possible. @Chico_brah

    0|2
    0|0
  • Some minds are better wired to be confident, independent minded, stubborn, rule breakers, etc. Others are more suited to being people pleasers, team players, etc. I'm confident and all I can say is it is part of who I am. I can't tell you to go down to the store to gain some confidence or to do something in particular to gain confidence, because it just comes from within. I have a strong sense of who I am and I'm comfortable with that and I am very independent minded. I generally try to tell people to stop trying to make everyone happy and realize that not everyone will like you. When you have that mind set you can make decisions based on what you believe and sometimes that means you'll get some blow back from others but that comes with the territory. Heavy lies the crown as it were.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's hard to get and easy to lose :o
    So I voted A... and some people are good in trying to get your confidence even if they're not worth it. Cat of other fishes :-(

    1|2
    0|0
  • Having confidence can be easy if you're good-looking or just have a positive personality. There are some extremes, like Kanye West, who is confident to the umpteenth degree. That's how he can lay Kim Kardashian and who knows who else, and do whatever he damnwell wants.

    If you're not good-looking, or had to cope with child abuse or neglect, or had to cope with peer put downs, you can still gain confidence, but it's a longer and tougher road. You have to have the courage to confront your fears.

    I had to take the tougher road. I was skinny, ugly, had crappy parents, and pretty much got bullied and put down by other kids in high school. Years later, I did a lot of growing up, and got involved in fun activities (going to parties, tubing down creeks with friends, taking ice skatin lessons) that really boosted confidence in me. I have come a long way to being a happier person.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Depends, you generally gain it though success so if it's something like playing the Piano it just takes practice and eventually you will be confident in your ability.

    If your talking about success with women then that is harder because often you need confidence to succeed but without success you aren't going to be confident.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Depends on how you define confidence - I think quiet self confidence is something you gain through experience and self acceptance.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I view building confidence like a snowball rolling down a hill. At first it takes forever to grow, but when you get that initial spark it literally takes off.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It depends on their frame of mind, who they talk to, what they practice or do to build their confidence etc

    0|1
    0|0
  • Honestly there is no cookie cutter answer for this it honest to goodness varies from persons to person, some just have it others don't to some it comes easier to others it takes a lot more work.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No. I used to be exploding with confidence when I was little. Then it just went away. Thanks puberty... I've tried to build it up but it's basically been consistent for years now so I don't think it will go up or down.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I think it's easiER to gain than most people think, but not simply "easy".

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's not something you gain, it's something you become aware of, you already have everything you need but need a better way of perceiving information so you don't get the wrong impression. For example i go to a girl and casually say "Sup , give me your number so we can hang out latter" and she might continue asking why or as any normal girl testing my value and while that or rejection happens i never doubt my value based on anything she says, but i keep a stable view of myself.

    0|1
    0|0
  • If the persons who raise you don't help from preschool age, it's harder.

    0|1
    0|0
  • No, it takes time. If it was easy, everyone would be confident.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Bravado is an easy gain, confidence.. the lasting type?`It is a slow crawl.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It really depends on early experiences.

    If you were accepted as a child, you'll find it easier to gain confidence in the future.

    If you were neglected or looked down upon as a child, chances are you'll find it more challenging to gain confidence. It'll just take some extra effort to get rid of those past experiences and look forward.

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's hard for someone to gain confidence and for someone to tell us to do it is totally out of boundaries.

    0|2
    0|0
  • Well i think its on a persons mind set, if they think they can then they can, but if they give up on themselves which a lot of people do then thats just their own lack of self confidence

    0|1
    0|0
  • Confidence is the habit of facing the ugliest first, no matter what the situation is.

    The point is you don't have to face it harder than what you can. Just to the level of doing something about it.

    Then you realise that, most of the time it isn't that hard. It's all in your mind. You simply fear the unknown, not a real problem.

    0|1
    0|0
  • As a teenager I had a tough time with it but as i got older it got easier. Really does depend on the person, but either way it can be learned and improved.

    0|1
    0|0
  • for me personally it seems difficult, but it might depends on the person and their personality traits

    0|1
    0|0
  • My personality of not giving a shit work really well and is not an easy thing to do because my confidence need to be sky high. Mostly depends on the person itself.

    1|1
    0|0
  • It can be, it really depends what situations you vet yourself into. You can become confident if you're in situations that make you believe in yourself.

    0|1
    0|0
  • I have anxiety but when I'm in a social group that I enjoy where everybody has a common interest I feel really good. I'm doing yoga on Monday and I'm very excited.

    Try finding groups that share your same interests and you will more likely have confidence and make friends!

    Try meetup. com :)

    0|1
    0|0
  • It's not that easy. It depends on the person, but also their surroundings.

    0|1
    0|0
  • More from Guys
    25
Loading...