How can I get over my unwillingness to put in effort for women, after being led on?

I got led on big time, and since then I've been unwilling to risk wasting my time with nothing to show for it. I put in effort in other areas of my life, I have a job that involves me rushing into danger, read technical books like novels, books that my friends understand as well as they understand Swahili.

So I'm willing to put effort into things and everything I do for my career takes a heck of a lot of effort. But now I'm unwilling to risk being led on again, to put in effort for nothing, with nothing to show for it. And that mindset closes all possibility of me connecting with women, and I've really toned down my natural social charm. How can I get over that?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You shouldn't have nothing to show for it. You should have analyzed what happened and hopefully recognized the moments where she did something that was a red flag that you missed back then or chose to ignore. If you haven't found the mistakes that you made in your last relationship (choosing to stay when someone is leading you on is still your mistake) I suggest taking some time to do that before determining if you want to go back into the dating world. There's always things we can do better, even if it's just setting better boundaries with a partner or learning to recognized when we should have walked away sooner.


What Girls Said 1

  • Its not you, its that some women can be flaky or just likes the attention given. Do not turn off your charm just by the experiences you had. Choose more wisely and observe their behavior. If something looks off or is a sign of being led on, thats your move to end all ties with her. Social charm is a great quality to have, do not shut it off just because of those women.


What Guys Said 0

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