Sould I should I not?

Should I tell my mother this PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END READ EVERY LINE DON'T SKIP ANY. Mom I'm sorry I went to my room last night but I don't want to be around you when you are drunk or drinking. I love you but you get mean not physically but mentally you start yelling at every one for no reason some times I think about recording you so you can here what you say to people. U start yelling a lot when you're drunk. you do good some days and will go a few days with out it but then you get on it again I started thinking about taking every bottle you empty and labeling them and lining them up on the table to show you how much you are actually drinking. I don't know why you do it even though you know that thare are groups that help. U say well I'm drinking because of this or that but thare are other ways to deal with stuff. I know you don't want to admit it and we'll get really defensive when someone tells you the truth. But the fact is fact you can't run from the truth and the truth is YOU ARE an alcoholic. u can't run from the past but you can except it forgive what has happened instead of dwelling on it and make the future better. Alcohol is running your life and making it hell and the only person who can change that is you so please mom please join one of those groups and get better. im sure you will be made at me or say I don't understand or yell at me and that's ok but you needed to hear it and I needed to say it

  • Tell her
    95% (19)88% (29)91% (48)Vote
  • Don't tell her
    5% (1)12% (4)9% (5)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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What Guys Said 13

  • You should tell her, but it's only sad that it won't make much difference.
    Do not appeal to her life, and how she is ruining it. Grown up people, often do not care about their own life. You have to appeal about the people that need her, which in this case, is you, or other family that depends on her. It's more likely that she gets softened by that.
    Also add a few lines, about how you love some acts that she does when she is sober, or things that she used to do and no longer does. This will put a perspective about how this is affecting you, and your vision of her as a mother.

    I'd also advise to write it down and leave it on her night table or something. A talk is easily forgettable. Many of those words won't be memorized correctly, or won't have the same effect as written, cause she'll read it more than once, I guarantee you.

    I'm not sure if it's wise to label her as an alcoholic, as people tend to disregard that about themselves, and always believe that they are not. I'm not sure what good it will make.
    And also, before suggesting the support groups, talk about how she can talk about her problems with her own family (including you), instead of going for the drinks.

    Don't forget to end it with an encouraging note, about how you believe that she can do it, and how you love her still.

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  • Any conversation you have with her will be affected by how you present it (not just what you plan to say and how, but how it goes when the emotions start flowing) and how she takes it (which will depend on many things.

    I recommend you first contact Alateen, a group for teens of alcoholic families. They have chapters all over and deal with the issues you are having daily.
    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen

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  • Just tell her what you told us - Have you checked out something like Alateen for people with family members with alcohol problems - I googled there are other sites that might give you some advice
    http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen
    kidshealth.org/en/teens/coping-alcoholic.html
    www.drugs.ie/.../
    www.teensadvisor.com/.../alcoholic-parents.html

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  • Don't tell her. Write it on paper. Put the paper on the kitchen table before you leave in the morning. It will have a much deeper impact. Be sure to run a spellcheck on it though. I have seen a couple of mistakes that are burning my eyes...

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  • Tell her tactfully and convincingly. Let a few trusted people know that , you intent to get her cured. Talk to AA Group in your locality. When she drinks heavily the next time call the police and ask them to send her to AA for treatment. Take care of her and give her mental support when she comes back fully cured from this bad habit.

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  • Talk to her about it don't confront her.

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  • You should record her as you think about doing. You might won't to do it surreptitiously though... I feel like she might get violent if she sees it.

    Labeling them is also not a bad idea.

    I'm sorry she's putting you through all of that. I think maybe putting that in a note for her after you leave for school might not be a bad idea.

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    • 21d

      I'm home schooled and she has never hit me

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    • 21d

      Shut up your not funny she is not. I got news for you she has never hit me I have never gone hungry I have never gone with out she makes sure I have what I need or want I go to a good school she works her ass off for me she works 12 hour shifts. She had a shit life when she was younger. she just yells when she is drunk so watch what you say about people's mother especially when you never met them if I wanted to leave I could at anytime my dad offered many times for me to live with him I said no

    • 21d

      Hate to have to be the one to break it to you, abuse goes beyond physical abuse. I'm not funny, you're right. All you're doing is excusing away her abuse. Maybe then you shouldn't say anything to her since you're clearly okay with the abuse.

      You know why everyone is saying it's sad and/or showing you sympathy?

      BECAUSE IT'S ABUSE.

      Your mother is an abuser. Your denial doesn't change that cold hard fact.

  • You sould!

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  • Oh, this is so sad.
    You should tell her.

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  • tell her

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  • remember u can get kicked out but this would be a good convo when she is sober but while drunk you have to explain it to her like a baby. if shit hits the fan u can always talk to me. u know where to find me

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  • Tell her how you feel , she's destroying your home life with the near constant boozing.

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  • Tell her at any cost

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What Girls Said 5

  • If you were older, I'd say leave her behind until she agrees to get help. It's really sad for a minor to be in this position when there is legally nothing you can do on your own.

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  • Honey... my father is the same. He is an alcoholist. But my mom is the one who shouts. That's why I don't live at home anymore. You should tell her. Before it's too late

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  • Tell her about it, and say she needs to cut off drinking, this is really bad for health aswell, so tell her :)

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  • Tell her

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  • Oh dear, im so sorry you have to go through this. My heart breaks for you. Tell her.

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    • 21d

      Don't worry about it not a big deal

    • 21d

      Well, i hope things work out for you and your family.

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