Girlfriend got pregnant then broke up with me. What to do?

Since she found out she was pregnant, we have seen each other three times over a month - down from multiple times a week.
She lives with her mother and recently has been parenting her sisters kids (sister abandoned them). She always said she never wanted to have children. Since getting pregnant anything I do really irritates her. She broke up with me last night via a text after I asked if she wanted to go to a Christmas tree lighting.

The three times I have seen her have basically been to give her money. We had been a couple for four months.
The last time I saw her was initiated by me. She asked for $100 and I told her I could only afford $25(Making the total in a month $600). She knows I have been saving up for a larger place since she had said she wanted to move in with me. After giving her the money she then asked for a message. Gave her a thirty minute back massage then left as she was tired.
The text the next day was basically that I stressed her out the night before (something I said I gather) and she can't handle that at this point, and it would be best if we don't talk.

It's been one big pity party for her since her sister left two months ago. I've been nothing but happy and supportive around her (privately its been driving me crazy).

I feel like switching it up at this point if I get a chance to talk to her and tell her to grow the... up.

I'd leave her alone if I didn't know it is probably mostly hormones. I do care for her, but this has been testing me. Her mother told me two weeks ago that I needed to put a stop to her bad behavior, but figured it was better to be supportive - since that is what all the advice online says. And that's lead to here where she wants to cut me off completely.

Last thing, prior to the baby she had said she was falling in love with me and I said that I was getting there myself.

Any better idea before I tell her to suck it up? Also sort of wonder if she is mad because I have not said that I love her.


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What Girls Said 1

  • This sounds like she has a lot of resentment right now. I think part of it is towards you for getting her pregnant after only know her four months but also knowing she doesn't want kids. But I think most if it is her frustration in life for having to take on her sister's kids. She's probably directing frustration at you that she should really be directing towards her sister.

    The best thing for you to do right now is to provide for her and get her through the pregnancy (it definitely could also be a hormone thing) and prove that you're willing and able to take core of her and your baby. Don't let her cut you off because that will only make her more sad and upset when she realizes how lonely she is and that it's her fault.

    Try to have a reasonable discussion with her about it. (Giving her chocolate won't hurt) .

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What Guys Said 3

  • 1. Yes, her hormones play a large role in her behavior at the present but that does not mean that there are no issues which you can address.

    2. Telling her to grow the fuck up will help you to vent your frustration but it will push her further away and make it more difficult to reconcile, so I don't suggest that approach.

    3. At the moment, she is probably feeling overwhelmed with the responsibility of a child. Taking care of her sister's kids is a responsibility, but it is a responsibility that she can walk away from if she makes that choice. Having a child of her own takes things to a much higher level.

    She is thinking about the future and wondering if having you in her future is a good thing. Of course, if you do love her, you should tell her and hopefully allay any concerns she might have about that. However, you should never tell her "I love you" unless you mean it. In this case, "I love you" means I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to grow old with you, I'll be there through the bad times as well as the good times, and we will face every problem together.

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  • Stop giving her money. Stop giving her ANYTHING unless ordered to by a court. She wants to be a pain in the ass, don't be a chump and kiss her ass, shower her with attention, do things for her, buy her stuff, whatever. She broke up over text, so she shows you exactly what she thinks of you. You're nothing to her but a resource to be plundered.

    I hope for your sake you stand up for yourself, stop letting her abuse you and drain you of resources, time, and energy.

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  • Maybe you shouldn't have fucked her.

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