I had an anger attack, tried attacking my bf?

This past year has not been my year at all. I've been stressed and my boyfriend and i had a rough toxic relationship and just recently after dumping him and leaving him in the dirt he's realized how much he loves me. and i can honestly say he's changed these past 3 months. he tolerates me way more even after I've been pushing his buttons bc of the past that i can't get over. i started bringing it up yesterday and i was getting really mad and he started bringing up recent stuff about me, and we just kept arguing with each other and i got mad and told him to leave my car after i squeezed his face amd yelled at him i would sock him if he didn't leave. anger has been building up in me. I've never laid a hand on anyone. and we were just arguing and getting in each others faces. i dont remember much but he poured our drinks all over the interior of my car, and no its not leather. so i grabbed his skateboard and hit him (his rib and arm) i wanted to hit him hard but i was afraid i would really hurt him and I don't know fucking go to jail for assault.. and there was a lot of running and me crying. and at one point i couldnt breathe and my whole chest was tight and burning and i was choking and everything seemed surreal. i couldnt drive i couldnt calm down. i couldnt stop breathing so heavy. i swore my heart was hurting and i was going to have a heart attack and then my boyfriend realized what was going on and he got back in the car and calmed me down and got me water and was extremely sweet to me and comforting. even today i almost had another attack at work while texting him and he just kept telling me to calm down and was loving and said he didn't want to fight. i gave him the option yesterday of leaving, i said he didn't have to deal with me that i should have gotten help before and i swore i would leave him alone. he still wants to be with me. I don't know whats wrong with me, was that just an anger attack? or panic attack?


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What Guys Said 3

  • It seems like it might be good to talk this out with a therapist. I know there is a stigma out there about therapy but it has worked for me and helped me out a great deal. What it really comes down to is getting someone that understands situations like that and is easy to talk to. I really hate those therapists that go and what do you want to talk about? that drives me nuts. Find someone offered through your school if you go to college, or though the local social services in your county. I have lake county mental health and they provide inexpensive help. They can help you to develop techniques and help you find the root source of the problem with your relationship.

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  • So you expect him to change and be not toxic but in return you are toxic yourself?

    You sound like a keeper.

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    • 20d

      Yeah thats what im saying. That's why i told him to walk away from all of it. Im being what i didn't want him to be. Its a lot more complicated. He was emotionally and physically abusive with me and i guess i have not forgiven him completely for all the things he's said to me including that he wanted to fuck his coworker with me.

  • You have problem controlling your emotional, you need to calm down.

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