Why do my parents and family always think I'm pissed off at the world?

My dad just walked up to me and said my name to get my attention, I said what and closed my iPad. I think he interpreted that as I thought he was trying to pry at my privacy, he then told me to stop being pissed off at people, I said I wasn't pissed off at people, he said Yes you are. When someone accuses me of being pisssed off, I'm going to be pissed off so I said I am now. And he cussed me out. What just happened? Earlier today, my mom accused me of saying offensive things under my breath, what? No I don't. Oh yes and apparently not starting a conversation with my sister is rude and offensive. Sorry for being an introvert. Eventful day today. I will say that.

How can I stop having them assume things so they'll leave me alone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know you. But I think if they are saying that, especially if they say it a lot, then you should at least consider that there is something to it. You should at least try to figure out why they say it. It won't hurt to consider it.

    If you take a good hard honest look at yourself and don't see anything, then move on. If it's something on their end, maybe you could figure that out also. But until you understand it, it's kinda hard to do anything about it. They aren't saying that for no reason, even if the reason is miscommunication or misunderstanding.

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    • I don't think they say it a lot but it comes up several times a year.

    • Well it doesn't hurt to look into it.

      "When someone accuses me of being pisssed off, I'm going to be pissed off so I said I am now"

      You could have asked what he meant by it. Then listen because you genuinely want to know. If it's miscommunication, you can't resolve it by not communicating. If it's something else, finding out what he means is a good starting point.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think its the way how you come off and portray yourself to them. If you constantly irritated, be passive-aggressive and how you're reacting to what they say. If for an example you gave: "When someone accuses me of being pissed off, I'm going to be pissed off so I said I am now."

    Whatever you do CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS. Breathe and remain calm. See, your problem is that the moment the person accuses you fo wrong doing you immediately react. Don't do that. That's why he cursed you out. Just calmly say that your not, or just ignore them.

    Other than what is happening with your mother. All you can do is just let it be. You don't need to keep explaining yourself to people who have nothing to do with what you do. If you didn't do anything, then you didn't do anything. I'm an introvert as well, and as an INFJ I tend to have the same issue as you do. I'm still learning to be more responsible for my emotions and how I project and handle the way I speak and communicate with people. We are all not perfect. We all make mistakes. The problem with your family is a lot of ignorance on their part, who refuses to get to know you because they believe their way is always right. Especially if their extroverts. Hopes this helps. Remember to practice on that. Make sure you stop, think and listen before you speak.

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    • I'm INFJ too as I'm still learning how I project myself. My family is all extroverts and they refuse to accept my lifestyle. They act like I choose it. One of the biggest fights I had with my sister was because she wanted to hangout but I kept shutting down every idea she had. I don't know what my moms thinking is. She still brings up mistakes I made when I was an infant. For example, I was a little morbid as a child. One time I cut one of my sister's sweatershirts. Recently, I got upset because a favorite sundress of mine had been destroyed. She just said it was payback. You're right I definitely need to learn how to project my emotion. I'll definitely work on that. 😀

What Guys Said 8

  • There's a generational gap going on here. How you see things isn't how they see things. To get past that is going to require both of you to have a sit down chat, and hope they're open enough to accept what you say. I wouldn't count on it. Our generation didn't grow up with the Internet. We didn't have technology like it exists now. We were fearful of people and rightfully so. The former Soviet Union had missiles pointed at us 24/7 (wherever you live, that wouldn't have ended well). So forgive us for tending to be paranoid.

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  • It's probably your tone... that's what my sister does. Like, you can say literally anything to her and she'll start yelling and saying "what?" In a condescending way and shit. And then I tell her to stop and she acts like she answered like a normal human would

    Also, at least on here, you kinda trash your parents a lot... I'm guessing that might translate to your actual attitude towards them... all of this just a guess

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    • I'm just confused why they think this of me and I have no where else to go. I've considered taking a break from here but I'm very stressed and need an outlet. My parents are currently yelling at my brother because he wants to quit basketball. Or at least I think he does. I don't know what they're arguing about.

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    • And he can play basketball? Like, if you have med problems, I feel like playing a contact sport isn't the smartest of ideas... as for your parental thing, well, we can't help you if you at least don't try and help yourself. That's what you at least talk it out to get rid of any misunderstandings and assumptions

    • No, that's two different brothers. One plays basketball, the other is disabled. I will try to open up to my parents

  • Its easy for people to think introverts are pissed off, add that to your age.
    I've got the same problem sometimes

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  • Do you have "resting bitch face" aka "bitchy resting face"? It's a real thing

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    • Well, there you go because that's the answer. Explain to your folks or anyone else that you have RBF and show them links, then they will understand and no more drama will ensue...

      Believe me, my wife has RBF and, before we understood what it was and that she had it, there was lots of drama and confusion on my part. Then, several years ago, she discovered RBF and sent me that video about it. After that, things got much better.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v98CPXNiSk

    • lol, he's got the link out like it's a disease. Better WebMD that resting bitch face Ginny, damn

  • i get that sometimes myself. I got that the other day at work. This lady thought I was rude whe I said what we hadon the shelf was what we had

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  • Well your an introvert (like me) so I relate. Have you considered they are just paranoid and insecure?

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    • I have a hard time believing my family can be insecure about me.

    • Not insecure but intimadated by you. Your smart and I'm smart and I've seen it around people I know

  • If you smile more, you'll get more out of life. Make it a habit to smile at people when they're talking to you.

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    • I don't think I can do that. I have terrible resting bitch face. Even when I think I'm smiling, I'm not.

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    • I've been working on body language too. Leaning into people when you talk, touching them on the shoulder, making eye contact. This stuff is hard

    • I'll try to do it. I don't know if I can. I fear if I be nice to them, they'll think I want something.

  • When your own family hates you, It's just time to embrace the suck :o

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What Girls Said 8

  • Knowing what I Do about You, @ginny_weasley, Living under the same Rough Roof as Mad Dad... Is Always a Problem. No one is going to See, Eye to Eye.
    Until you Move out and Get your own Place, you will be Hearing it from all Face, no Matter if it's Fact or Not. xx

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  • Because young people are always assumed to be like that.

    I'm uninterested, don't think enough about either my actions or those of others, am not involved enough in the owlrd and politics, am too modern, and not traditional enough. Etc etc. Baby boomers ALWAYS complain. (Every generation bashes the next, the older you get rhe harder it'll get ro stay progressive, when you're not progressive you start falling behind and nor understand what's going on anymore: making people mad.)

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  • I don't know why, but I'm pleasantly surprised that you said "cussed" lol. That aside, it seems like there may be a miscommunication problem somewhere down the line. Maybe they're going off your facial expressions and/or body language and prejudging.

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  • I can't wait toll you move out of their house. There's nothing you can do really. They'll assume either way. I think your parents are they " my way or the highway" type of people. Really unfortunate. Just spend time away from the house I guess.

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  • uhh... do u have resting b-face? Or perhaps watch too much Daria? sorry that's all i can give insight wise :(

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    • No, it's OK. Yes I do have resting bitch face

    • well then pay them no mind, it's just them misunderstanding ur straightforward-direct speak... and well i guess ur face? ... but once u build understanding they'll see how totally bombastic u are as a person :) im totally sure!

      88% :)

  • Is it because Trump won and seemingly most people are mad at the world now? 😂

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  • im the same, they won't really understand, think of it as something funny

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  • Well my family through me out like trash and took my money so it could be worse. Keep ur head up. If u ever need to vent hog me up. I'm exactly the same.

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