Did I over-react to him telling me I look like a rapist?

So I used to date this guy, and due to our history I have tried to keep us on good terms. We haven't been together for 2 years. I help him out sometimes (ie. resume help, or questions about work, and he helps me with stuff like that too). I don't have many friends who are in a similar work field.

Well last week this person (who I do not have as a friend on facebook, more on that in a bit) sent me an IM saying that my profile pic makes me "look like a child rapist". This upset me greatly as if he was my friend on facebook and made that comment, I have a bunch of friends who are parents to small kids. And I come from a small town - people talk! I know he didn't accuse me of being a child rapist. But in my opinion people don't make those kinds of connections lightly. It's normal for someone to call a person weird or creepy. But not to say someone looks like a child rapist.

Some history:

- I had this guy on my LinkedIn in the past a few years ago. He ended up making some terrible comments about my company on my work anniversary alert. I could not delete them so I had to delete my whole LinkedIn account. I had people I worked with at the time. I was so upset. After this incident I deleted him off of all of my social networks. As I did not want him making any comments on my posts anymore.

I basically told him that it upset me that he said that. My profile picture was just a selfie I took with snap chat using the sunglasses filter (so not sure how that makes me look like a child rapist).


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you didn't over react. You had to delete him, you don't want people writing crap like that. Saying it as a joke in a flirty kind of way if you're teasing each other in person is one thing, but what kind of a moron says that kind of crap online, it's really immature. For what it's worth, it had nothing to do with you or the way you look, it was just him showing the resentment and negativity he's got inside, he would have said it to you no matter what you looked like.

    I've noticed it so many times, I post a pic and I get girls complimenting me, and then one of my friends comes on and is like "you realize you look like a faggot?"... Lol... I just have to laugh at it.

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    • 12d

      He will say that sort of stuff all the time and then say it was a joke. But the thing is, the delivery is not a joke. He's dead serious when he says it, and that has me concerned and thinking this is a mental problem. I know for a fact he is unstable. I've had issues with him in the past. Part of the reason I was still in contact with him was due to the fact had I cut him right away, I would have to worry about retaliation.

Most Helpful Girl

  • no you didn't overreact. in fact, I would just cut him off completely and never let him back in.

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    • 12d

      Yea, I haven't even spoken to him since. I just flat out told him that what he said was unacceptable. I can't trust someone like this. I think he is mentally unwell.

    • 12d

      he seems like he is. I know you've helped him before in the past but you can't let people like that in your life. who knows what they're capable of.

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