Ex will not let me be involved in pregnancy and birth?

hi i would like to start with thank you for any replys

so i met i nice girl 2 years ago we had a great relationship but things just did not work out and we broke up but 3 weeks after we broke up she came to me and told me she was pregnant with our child and i will admit i did think she was just trying to make me get back with her but she did not want to be in a relationship with me which was fair enough but the problem is that she said she will contact me after the baby is born and to leave her alone until then as she does not want me involved at all in the pregnancy and bith but i want to to be maybe not at every appointment but definitely all the scans and at the birth for sure plus i want to be kept up to date on how our baby is doing but she refuses saying i have no right to be involved in the pregnancy as we are not together so what should i do any help would be great as this is mine and her's first child

i just had a call from my ex crying down the phone to me saying she wants me back and that she loves me and wants us to be a family and begged me to be with her as she loves me then told me to com to her first appointment if i want to be a family if not do not go to the appointment then put the phone down what the hell do i do


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there is anything you can do. Regardless, read up on what the law says about paternal rights

    • im in the uk so if she puts me on the birth certificate which she said she is going to do i will automatically get parental responsibility which she gets automatically at birth which means i will have equal rights and say over the child if i am on the birth certificate

Most Helpful Guy

  • Unfortunately, you don't have much of a say in this so unless she changes her mind, you'll miss those appointments and the delivery. However, as a guy who went through an ugly divorce and has two young daughters, I'm here to tell you that you'll be ok if you really want to be there for your child. Those scans are overrated as is the actual birth. I mean... the birth was something else. Like especially the second one as that was a natural birth. I was completely unprepared when I first saw her face. But that said, I can honestly say that those scans or even the birth pales in comparison to just earlier today when they gave me a big smile and told me "Daddy, this dinner is delicious!" or just watching their excitement as we sit at the art table and paint together. Or the huge smiles that they'll have when I pick them up on Monday and they'll see that their paintings have been framed and are hanging up. Or the how I have to pause when we're picking books to read at night and my youngest out of nowhere says "I love you, daddy!"

    I guess what I'm saying is that scans and birth are nice -- but regardless of how much people hype those experiences, they're not nearly as rewarding as the seemingly pedestrian daily stuff. If you show the courts that you're interested, committed, invested, and competent, you'll have time with your child and even if it's not perfect, I promise it'll be great.

    • thanks that helps a lot it is just i wanted to experience the pregnancy and birth of my first child but she will not let me which sucks plus she will not even give me a say in the name of our child


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • She's crazy. There are women out there that would give anything to have the father of their child actually WANT to be involved in their child's life. She is being immature.
    I really hope she comes around and stops acting like a baby herself.

    • she wants me involved in the childs life just not in the pregnancy she said she will contact me after the baby had been born but i want to be involved in the pregnancy

    • Show All
    • so do you think i should be with her as yes i do love her but i do not want a baby to be the reason i am with her

What Guys Said 2

  • We'll if you're the biological father and she won't let you get involved with the child then revoke parentalhood to avoid paying child support. That's what I would do ideally.

    • she wants me to be involved with the child just not the pregnancy

  • It might not be your child, be careful