Does a man really have to buy good things to show how much he values his gf/wife?

I don't think so and honestly, I don't ask for too much other than:
- Commitment
- Honesty and no cheating
- No violence obviously
- Time and dedication (for instance if either of us have time during our break, we can briefly say hi to each other).

However, my mother still has this belief that a man has to buy me costly stuff and take me to somewhat elegant places to show he cares about me. My parents' marriage is miserable anyways and it's all fake smiley pictures on fb (there is no love). The idea of me being measured in price value to be won irritates me. Sometimes I even feel insulted. I learned about love on my own. Most of her conversations about a loving man is almost always about what much did something cost, how often is he taking me out and the guy wasting his money as a way of him proving his love towards me.

Ironically, I have a younger 14 year-old brother and she would want a girl that works and pays for her own stuff. She doesn't want a materialist girl that demands too much for him.

  • Nope, he doesn't and your mother is totally in the wrong
    91% (10)78% (7)85% (17)Vote
  • At some point he does and she might be right
    9% (1)22% (2)15% (3)Vote
  • Other
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Updates:
7d I don't about her but frankly, I would rather be loved and working hard to get some stuff (paying for my own stuff) than living off someone's hard work and not being loved.

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What Guys Said 2

  • It's hard to say because the idea is not the material aspect but rhather that you care enough to something for that person

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    • 7d

      The way she explains it... it's always about how much a guy spends. I know what type of man she would want for me. Her ideal and best man for me would be someone wealthy with a profession (probably even rich), that buys me costly things and takes me out on different places.
      Meanwhile, it's enough for me that there is love towards each other, he's working just like I'm working and we both want a form a family someday. We're both saving money. I like the idea of a teamwork and not the guy doing everything.

    • 7d

      Yeah people have this idea that the man should do everything and make no mistake both sides should do their part as you're saying, but I guess it all depends. I mean just because a man is rich and will do everything for you doesn't mean it'll be a good relationship. When I was younger I lived with a rich stepdad because my mom married this man, and while he could get us anything we wanted we ended up moving out after about 5 years because we couldn't stand to be around him so it shouldn't just be about how rich he is (although he should be self sufficient) but rather how compatible two people are

  • No, it's usually women who place their value by how much their man buys, and those women are materialistic.

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    • 7d

      True and it makes me feel sad my mother has that mentality. I'm thinking what about other things such as years you were commited to that person, the history you have with them together, memories and other nonmaterial things.

      If someone really believes they can win me through material stuff and prices, I would be absolutely offended.

    • 7d

      I agree and I honestly hate women with that mentality it makes me afraid to go out and date.

What Girls Said 3

  • Time can't be bought, love can't be bought, a hug can't be bought, a kiss can't be bought, affection can't be bought, a "I love u" can't be bought. So yea I don't think ur mom is right, because it takes no effort to buy something and then forget about it for years to come

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  • I have the same opinion as you, I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend just made dinner for me for my birthday cause that shows how much he cares about me. I dont need gifts to show off to others that my boyfriend loves me. I would rather him being honest and loyal than buying me gifts and cheating

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    • 7d

      Yeah that would be good enough. Besides, it's good to save money. You never know in what you might need it for (ex: to buy a house together and form a family).

  • Nope :)

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