What is the best insult you have ever heard?

People insult each other all the time, on social media , in public, or even at home. Most of the time they resort to cussing. Some of the best insults I've heard don't even have cuss words.
What are the best insults you have ever heard?


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What Guys Said 15

  • The story is told that when Nancy Astor, Britain's first female member of Parliament, told Sir Winston Churchill that: 'If I were your wife I would put poison in your coffee,' Churchill famously replied, 'Nancy, if I were your husband I would drink it.' Unfortunately, Churchill never actually issued this insult, but it is the kind of insult that he could have said.

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  • If you had a sister or a dog, I'd choose the dog.

    - Captain Jack Sparrow

    Or

    [Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:] How tall are you, private?
    [Private Cowboy:] Sir, five-foot-nine, sir.
    [Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:] Five-foot-nine, I didn’t know they stacked shit that high! You’re trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere, huh?
    [Private Snowball:] Sir, no, sir!
    [Gunnery Sergeant Hartman:] Bullshit, it looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma’s ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you’ve been cheated. Where the hell are you from anyway Private?

    - Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

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  • 'Say, that's a nice shirt. What, did your sister shave her back and knit you a sweater?'
    - from the video game, 'A Bard's Tale,' a treasure trove of wit and cleaver insults

    I agree about the profanity. There are a few people who can curse creatively and intelligently, but for the most part, profanity just tries to use shock factor in place of genuine creativity and intelligent wit

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  • I was playing rocket league with a friend and he said "you don't have any goals." I said "you don't have any goals that's why you didn't graduate high school." I thought I may have crossed a line after I said that but he was cool.

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  • Where'd you get those clothes? The toilet store?

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  • a guy once told my brother "You should've dribbled down your mother's leg!"

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  • 0:20
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgWiZwEHwdo
    protopasmic invertabret jelys

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  • My friend was talking about how he was failing in bio so I said, "Maybe you're failing bio because you suck at life." I then proceeded to call him a single celled prokaryote cell.

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  • A girl tells me when we watching movie "FOCUS MAN FOCUS! THERE ARE TITS IN THE MOVIE!"

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  • my birth, it was a hardcore insult to my parents

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  • Your mom... ohhh! Burn🔥

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  • Botha. Botha? Botha dese middle fingas.

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  • I f*uck your past you son of a cunt

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  • Yo momma so fat she has her own zip code

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What Girls Said 6

  • One of my students told our principal that before she criticizes other people over stupid stuff, she needs to put some chicken grease from that Popeye's chicken she eats everyday into her weave to moisturize her dry ass scalp instead of wiping it on a napkin.

    That was funny lol

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  • "Trump won't do Squat for this Country."
    Not only an "Insult" but Hogwash. xx

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  • "anyone ever tell you, you look like a peinis with a little hat on?" -tom hanks

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  • I can't remember them off bat, but the best ones don't have cussing ironically lol, and they normally come from old people.

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  • I'd call you a cunt, but you don't have the depth and the warmth

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  • "I would smack you, but that would be animal abuse." Ingenious xD

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