So it's becoming common for some marriages to have a one-time physical altercation?

Sorry but if I ever got hit in a marriage, I would file for divorce on that very same day and make sure he has a permanent record. I would then tell everyone on fb and other social medias the real reason I'm leaving him. I would definitely want everyone to know that he did something just as unforgivable as cheating is. I'm black and white on those two deal-breakers (cheating and physical violence).

I would never cheat nor hit a my partner so I expect the same in return. Vice-versa... I would expect the same punishment. No one deserves to get cheated on nor hit ever in a relationship nor marriage.

This is base on what I'm reading for this post. This woman still thinks her mother was wrong to call the cops on him. Afterwards, the husband also got beaten by the woman's two brother. She still wants to stay with him and feels bad for him.
http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/603284-my-husband-hit-me-remorseful

Updates:
9d I'm very judgmental on those two deal-breakers. I can tolerate other things but those are my two NO's.

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What Guys Said 0

No guys shared opinions.

What Girls Said 3

  • I don't agree with the brothers doing what they did, I don't agree people should get an eye for an eye. But you're right.
    The problem is emotions and love make it hard. And I think maybe until you are married and have this connection with someone and it just springs up on you like that, it might be hard to fathom. BUT at the same time you could also be one of those people that will 100% leave too. It's hard to judge people in those situations until you've been in them.

    I used to talk like you, got into an abusive relationship and I understand them more now. A lot of these men/women that finally hit the person have probably been somewhat (for no reason) emotionally abusive too so that makes it harder to leave. IF they've done it "for a reason", (pretend your new partner is baiting you about your dead child!), then it makes sense you'd understand why they did it and blame yourself and think I can forgive them.

    Same as cheating, people tend to blame themselves and try to understand why they cheated because they love them, so they think a second chance with them doing better will fix it.

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    • 9d

      My boyfriend and I have an understand on these two topics and those two NO's are a deal-breaker to him also.
      Yes, I'll definitely leave (regardless of whether I have a child with him or not) if we get married in the near future and he ever does that.

    • 9d

      So you ignored everything I said, that's nice.

      But good you two have had that talk, hopefully for you it never happens.

  • ironic that they thought he shouldn't be hitting her, but it was ok for the brothers to get beat him up after he was arrested. THe only person in this deal that ws right is the mom, unless she advocated for the brothers to go beat him up.

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    • 9d

      I don't think any assault is right and the brothers were totally in the wrong too. They deserved to get charged for assault as well too.

      I agree, getting physically assaulted should be handled by calling the cops and pressing charges.

  • Cheating & abuse are definite deal breakers

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    • 9d

      Yes but it's sad that many people are tolerant towards them. in my opinion, if someone can tolerate that and excused it as a one-time thing (basically the two most fundamental things have already been broken) then what boundaries are there to respect now?
      By those things, the partner has already disrespected you in the most disgusting way and you already know he/she has the capacity to do it and can do it again.

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