Why is wanting to change oneself seen so negatively?

A lot of the time, if you talk about wanting to change something or improve something about yourself, you will get a vibe from people... its hard to describe. Like a superiority vibe? Its very subtle... Theyll make assumptions about you, your self confidence, your self esteem. Theyll make it clear or hint that they think you need to work on your self confidence and accept yourself for who you are etc... Without really stopping to ask, is it even mutually exclusive?
can't you love yourself, be confident in your value as a person and in your abilities, yet still want to improve?

Who says you can't have both? How is accepting the fact that you're not entirely perfect, prone to error, mistakes, character flaws... basically human, a lack of confidence?

And whats up with everyone saying "Ill never change for anyone". "I accept me for who I am, and others should too".
Fine, but nobody is perfect. Loving yourself and accepting yourself is great. Demanding that of others is also quite natural.
But so often, I see people saying those things and it really just seems like complacency? "Im perfect the way I am, I dont need to change".
Sure, maybe you dont need to. But are you perfect, truly? isn't it delusionnal to think that?
And why would you not want to improve? Bashing yourself for mistakes or flaws is hardly a good thing. But what about a healthy drive for improvement. Improvement is change. Improvement is, by definition, a positive thing. How can anyone possibly believe theyre beyond it?

Are you this way? Why? Why not? Have you experienced this?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I am not going to change for anyone and THERE IS A REASON FOR THAT. I hate people who questions every single damn thing. How about that?

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    • 21h

      Hahaha damn you must be so. miserable on a site like GaG lmao "STOP Theyre all asking questions! ARRRHH" Hahaha
      jks:)

      No but seriously. The question was why?
      You said: "THERES A REASON FOR THAT", so wjats your reason?

    • Show All
    • 19h

      Lol WHY should I tell you the reason? I don't have to explain myself to a stranger

    • 19h

      Lmfao deactivate ^^

What Guys Said 4

  • I live on constant change and it drives my girlfiend up the wall. I am in a constant state of improvment and it pisses people off. I dont care! People who put others down or say they can not do it. It really is the fact they can not do it themselves and they will do everything to keep you like them. That is what you are supposed to do, love yourself. Change is a matter of choice. No is perfect you are correct. I get tired of the same thing over and over and you should want to change and learn new. Some people are ok in their sedimentary mind. They stop growing and stop wanting anything and become complacent. I did experience not improving. I started thinking "Is this it?" Then I started looking for the change. The change started with me and had nothing to do with anyone but me. I want to live life and die on E.

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  • This is a good point, I've never noticed it before, but you're totally right. I don't understand either. Improvement isn't bad. If you're changing yourself for the worse, then yes. THAT'S when it should be seen negatively. Otherwise, trying to work on yourself to be a better you shouldn't be seen as a sign of weakness. Self-acceptance is something great, even if some people need to change to get there.

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  • Completely agree. The way i see it, if you are not improving every day, you are wasting your life; you should always strive for more. Those people that say you should accept yourself are often the ones too lazy/too scared to do something to change their situation

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  • nice rant, good points. (not sarcastic)

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