I am so frustrated with my unemployed boyfriend , advice?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend lost his job about a year ago and he has made zero attempts to find another one. He doesn't need to pay for gas or rent or anything because he lives at home and his parents cover all that. And this is someone who is in his 30's. He basically does nothing all day.

I work full time. I work in a typical corporate environment. I guess because my boyfriend has so much free time, he assumes I do too. He will call me in the middle of a work day and ask me to take the day off so we can hang out or whatever. Obviously I can't do that. I have work and projects and deadlines.

Dont get get me wrong, I'm not a workaholic by any means. I take plenty of days off but I can't just take a random day off at the last minute because he's bored and wants to do something. I don't think I'm being unreasonable here right?

But he doesn't get it! He gets pissed when I can't take a day off. He says horrible things and accuses me of not caring about him or our relationship, etc.

I've explained it so much times. I can't take off at 3 in the afternoon just because he wants me to. I'm just so frustrated right now. Not only does he not care that he's unemployed but he doesn't respect my job.

My job is the reason why we can eat out, why I can buy him expensive Christmas gifts, why we went on 4 long vacations this year. My job is paying OUR costs. I can't take risks and lose my job.

Please help and advise on how I can get through to him. Because I'm fed up.

[OlderAndWiser]

You can't get through to him.

You can get another boyfriend.

Would you want this guy to be the father of your children, the role model for your boys, the one who finished raising them if something happened to you when they were still small children? How much more time do you want to waste with someone like this?

[madhatters4]

sounds like a failure to launch situation. i think that it should be very concerning that a 30 year-old has no job, lives at home with their parents and doesn't seem to understand why you can't simply skip out of work to do stuff.

[Anonymous]

Dump him, he's a man child and you don't need somebody like that to father your kids.

[evenlift]

More and more men don't want kids or marriage or even sex or relationships. And most men have never wanted lavish lifestyles for themselves. Add to that the increasing burden of taxes and regulations, and it's no wonder that more and more young men are checking out. I know many men who don't work or who barely work or who work far less demanding (and far less-paying) jobs than their capabilities would allow. The people complaining have brought this on themselves.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn't get his act together you might have to consider leaving him and seeing someone else new. Maybe that might give him an incentive to keep trying and keep looking for work, instead of giving up and letting you do all the work and provide for him. Otherwise, he needs to be understanding that he should only hang out and travel with you after your shift is over or only when you are off from work. Plan ahead and plan accordingly, no spontaneous of let's go meet up today at 3 in the afternoon, because it's simply that, you just can't. Tell him no last minute plans are possible nor acceptable to you, and only plan ahead and plan accordingly to your schedule.

[BeerFarts]

Honestly, I'm surprised that you're still with him. It's one thing to be unemployed but it's another thing to fully embrace it with no interest in improving your situation.

30, still living at home, and his parents are still spoiling him. He sounds like a man child - a man child that's leeching off of you.

I say you kick him to the curb. He doesn't get it.

[Browneye57]

NEXT!!
And why are you putting up with this? Is this really what you want for the rest of your life? Seriously, dump the guy and find someone you can worship and love, someone that challenges and encourages you. Not some loser guy living with his mom.
The whole purpose of dating is to discern whether it's a match. Or not. If not, move on. There are plenty of great guys out there just waiting to meet you.

[Tony1974]

DUMP HIS ASS... YESTERDAY!

I hate mooches and lazy ass people. He has the audacity to lambast you when you can't drop everything to take a day off to waste with him. Clearly you can find a better "partner." If he's been out of work for over a year, it will be tough for him to find a job. The first question they will ask is what he's been doing for the last year.

[Anonymous]

That's kinda pathetic. It sucks that he lost his job, but it's his fault for not putting any effort and expects you to take work off whenever.

I'm unemployed at the moment and it's nothing to brag about. Sure I have a safety net coming in but it's not like I'm doing anything except looking for work during my time off. I certainly don't expect others to hang out just because I'm bored while not working.

[Anonymous]

Really now, regardless what people say , give him another chance, it's stupid how everyone just says"dump him" for literally every reason no matter how small. He's probably way to comfortable in this situation, so you're gonna have to be loud and clear that he needs to change this lifestyle or he will get the boot 👞 give it time

[CapnHawk]

What are doing hanging with a deadbeat? This guy is a leech with no future. Kick him to the curb and tell him to grow up.

[wankiam]

more fool you for paying his share... i suggest in future you stop doing that and if he remains a scrub then find another guy

[evenlift]

He probably doesn't even want those expensive treats. That's why so many young men are quitting the workforce these days.

[WalterRadio]

LEAVE THE LOSER.

It is that simple. Find someone who has some ambition and success.

[chc0009]

How did this guy manage to impress you in the first place?

[disgustingweebtrash]

He could become a househusband, but his attitude is really bad and toxic, so not house husband material.

[lumberman9]

You sound sensible it's not like you're being demanding with him but he thinks he can have you at his beck and call that's not right of him

[Centurion20000]

You're with a loser. Leave before he saddles you with a child.

[Glen68]

30 unemployed and living with his parents with no interest in improving his situation. sounds like you need to reevaluate your relationship

[Mr-Kabuki]

why are you with him? you need to get out of that relationship he is a leech.

[Anonymous]

does he think women should work?

[bubbletrouble]

Quit dating him