Why do people criticize women for putting their children up for adoption?

It's like you can't win for loosing. If you decide to abort, you're a baby killer. But if you decide to give the baby a chance at life, but with a family who can actually support them, then you're a horrible human being for not caring about your kid...

whats the deal? I'm speaking from experience here. I've decided to give my baby up for adoption and have gotten nothing but hate for it.


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What Guys Said 19

  • People are selfish and I'd bet most of those who call the moms who put their children up for adoption are actually bad parents who haven't realized it. I personally fully support the moms who are brave enough to think beyond their own selves and want to give their children a chance at the life they actually deserve.

    Plus what good is a mother who is barely able to survive on her own, a baby is only going to stretch her already thin amount of resources even lower.

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  • There is an Aesop's fable out there where some animals are anthropomorphic and do some cartoon stuff to hopefully hold the attention of dem witted humans that "don't read well," but the moral of the story...

    If you try to please everyone, you will please noone.

    ... do what you need to do to survive... personally I got opinions you wouldn't like about this, but on the same note I have another moral of a story for you... opinions are like @ssholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

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  • The real question is why do you care what others think? That how society is, unless you do exactly what they want you to do, they will point fingers and tell you your wrong.

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  • i´m for abortion why would you even care for how people think about it xD it´s your life not theirs. they can be judgmental all they want, what does it even change?

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  • In first place i think both partners need to think before having a kid or then just don't have sex with out a condom. Because now your only looking from your point of you why is it so bad to give a child away. Try to look from the childs point of view in 18 years time he/she will be grown up and he will hate his parents that they didn't wanted him it dosn't matter you couldn't support him or give him best life. He will grow up with out his parents feeling alone and not wanted same as to be aborted not any way better just being alive. I am not trying to judge anyone just looking from the childs eyes which is really clear imagine your self in his shoes you will see the same.

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  • In life there will always be people who give you shit for things regardless of your choices. Just ignore those people and keep on keeping on.

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  • I think the issue is often more about your irresponsibility. if you weren't ready to have a child than you should have been more careful.

    that being said you're a terrible human being if you decided to put the baby for adoption rather than abort it. adoption is no easy life and a fetus doesn't have consciousness so it's doesn't matter if you kill it. also people kill things every day and don't bat an eye, what makes a human so special

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  • That just makes me sad that baby person is going to fell being rejected it's whole life.

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  • A lot of people are thinking like
    "You got pregnant it's your responsibility"

    Poor child didn't ask for that. You didn't practice safe sex and because of your mistake a baby may grow up without a 'normal' family.

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  • Because they weren't merciful enough to abort them, you'd get less hate from the "Baby Killer" shouters. Fuck what everyone else thinks, just ignore those overemotional dweebs that call everyone else baby killers when they don't even know them.

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  • I agree with you completely, so long as the father was given an opportunity to step up.

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  • If the baby is having a chance at life but it's being given up for adoption, the mother still made the right decision in letting her baby see life. I support anyone who is Pro-Life!

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  • I don't. I commend them.

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  • Who the hell is criticizing women for doing adoption? I never seen it happen. It's better than killing him/her.

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  • because people like to complain so no matter what you do they will find something wrong with it

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    • 3d

      I hate that. 😔

    • 3d

      so do I which is why I only socialize with a select few people because the rest drive me crazy

  • You can't support a baby?

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  • because it questions something so pure called motherhood

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    • 3d

      It's not always that simple... motherhood is deciding what's vest for your baby.

    • 3d

      Best*

    • 3d

      momy is best for baby, and only a baby can know that , it will not suck diamond or gold, it will find mommy

  • pay the piper until said piper is fed

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  • You have not even identified the dad and you already have gotten rid of all responsibility. Some women are cruel monsters when it comes to kids. Women have so many ways to get rid of the responsibility of having kids but men have nothing, how do you think people feel about that?

    You deserve to get for what you did.

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    • 3d

      The dad knows...

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    • 3d

      I wouldve done that.

    • 3d

      I suppose he didn't want to. We're married though... so that would've been weird.

What Girls Said 8

  • Because they shouldn't have sex in the first place. Unlike getting raped, they had a choice to wait till getting married to have sex. But don't. It's within anybody's right to judge as long as they aren't doing the same thing. People have to use discernment when others are doing wrong. Birth control or condoms CANNOT and will not save you from what is natural. A lot of people have horror stories being within the system: getting abused, raped, sent from group home to group home, one family to another family if things don't work out. It's a messy situation. Few had good outcomes. Many may not. The point is you know what the consequences of having premarital sex is. It is your responsibility to be accountable for you allow and don't allow. That is how I look at it. I don't hate you. But I don't agree with your decision. You don't know what the future would hold for you had you kept your child. If you can't be responsible to not wait for sex, you don't have sex. But you will do whatever you want to do. So while you have free will, others have right to judge. Just clarifying. No disrespect, but telling you the hard truth.

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    • 3d

      None of what you just said makes sense.

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    • 3d

      She already said how there is just nothing that they can cut back on and you're still suggesting they do that? Asker had made it clear how they simply can not afford to give a baby everything it'd need. Would it not be then best to put it up for adoption?

    • 3d

      At this point I as I said I understand the situation. When there is a will there is a way. All I told her is to find other ways legally. They will have to show proof of something that they can't afford. Either way the situation is stressful as is. I perfectly know what it's like to be turned down because somebody makes too much.

  • I don't criticize women for having their baby adopted. They have their personal reasons.

    If you feel it's the right thing to do in this moment in time then do what's best for your baby. No one can judge your choice when they don't know your reasons. They have no insight into your situation. Don't confide in people who are too judgmental. Your baby's well- being is priority.

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  • People just dont get that shit happens. Birth control fails and condoms break. People will judge you if you keep the baby because they dont like how you parent your kid. People judge me because I dont want kids and am taking the necessary steps to make sure I never get pregnant. And people will judge you if you ahort the baby because you don't have the money to care for it. People will always judge you because it's a self serving world and they think that their opinion is holier than everyone else and can change your mind.

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  • Ignore the idiots. What you're doing is best if you feel it is

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  • People just generalize a lot and think that every mother putting their children for adoption are just lazy and irresponsible. However, I disagree, not all mothers are like that and not aborting the baby earns respect from me and many pro-lifers I know of.

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  • What you're doing is one of the hardest things a woman can do. And it's done for the good of the baby. We adopted two kids and I can't imagine not having them now. I didn't give birth to either of them but I don't know if I would have the courage to place them up for adoption. It takes a special woman to be able to do that. I wish you the best. Bless you. ❤

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  • Men hate women having options or choice of any kind. You're property in their eyes, and they believe you should do whatever they think you should do. They're all about controlling women.

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  • I have never judged a woman harshly for that at all, ever. I think it is a great sacrifice and very hard for a woman to do, so I think it's very selfless to give a child up for adoption. But I also believe in abortion on demand, without apology, if that is what the woman feels is best. Parenthood is also very hard, and I know mothers sacrifice a lot for their children. I could never dishonor any woman's choice in this. I want all choices available so that women can do what is best in the situation as they see it.

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