It takes to two tango, or so they say.
So in my opinion, you may dislike talking on the phone - but you aren't necessarily bad at it. That's how I used to be up until recently, I literally despised talking on the phone. I always told my friends and potential dates/boyfriends that I hate to talk on the phone. None of them really cared and so we didn't talk on the phone. Up until the guy I'm dating now.
He told me that people love talking on the phone with him. And so naturally, I was intrigued, I figured I had nothing to lose so I called him. We talked for hours that first night and it felt like minutes. There were very few awkward silences and I didn't even care that there were some. It's only natural, you shouldn't have to fill every gap with words. Sometimes, just feeling a connection is all you need.
So all in all, it really depends who's on the other side of the phone line. It's not entirely on your shoulders to make a conversation flow and be interesting, it requires TWO people. The other person you're talking to has to contribute to the conversation and keep things going.
Now, I don't mind talking on the phone at all. Communication is actually better that way. Instead of texting, emailing, etc. when you aren't face-to-face, you get to hear their tone, inflection, LAUGH, and just their voice... It's much, much more personal. I can't believe I've been missing out on all that.
Anyway, I hope this helps.
Good luck.
Lots of people are like you - I'm like you. I really don't like talking on the phone but prefer to email volumes. Some people express themselves better in writing and others love to use the phone as a source of entertainment. I always felt like I was wasting time talking forver ( on those rare occasions when you just sat there and listened to each other breathe?) when I felt I could be doing so much more with my day getting stuff accomplished. People like us feel self conscious when we feel dead air during a convo - Don't force yourself to be something you're not. Just say.. " You know - I'm not one to talk much on the phone. If you'd like to get together sometime - great - we can hang out, etc. etc." Or - you can text message. Key is not to stay on the phone TOO LONG! If you feel that things are dragging - just say.. "HEY, great talking to you - we'll catch up later. Gotta get some stuff done". Don't worry about it - it's not a big deal. Lots of us out there. I'm a lot older than you and I have never changed. Still don't like talking. BUT - if is just stuff you don't know what to talk about? Brush up on current events - discuss interesting stories you read on the internet - share a hobby - discuss restaurants you've been to - movies you've watched.. blah blah blah.. OR an even better idea? When YOU ask the questions... people love to talk about THEMSELVES. Ask advice on something - you will get an earful! Good luck!
haha I just got off the phone with my boyfriend and he was telling me how he hates talking on the phone. Ironically, we talk every day and only recently has he run out of things to say. In the past he's really carried the conversations (and I'm sure he will in the future again). Our entire relationship (9 months or so) we've been carrying out 3 hour conversations without realizing the time going by. I guess once you get the right girl on the other line, you won't have any problem spilling your guts and appreciating what she's saying over the phone. .. And if not, then tell her "Let's get together. I hate talking on the phone." and I'm sure she'll understand.
I hate talking on the phone! Sometimes I will say I'm busy right now, why don't we meet up later or something to avoid talking on the phone. But with this being said, I am really good at keeping a conversation on the phone. I can talk for hours (to girls) without having to worry about not thinking about anything to say. I usually try and keep it under 30 minutes though, so that way leaves the girl hanging wanting to know more, and keep you fresh with things to say. The key is ask her questions that you would like to know. It can be anything really. This goes for the same with girls. First question you should ask are what are your hobbies, or what do you like to do when you're bored. Then branch off from there. Once you know some things about the girl you will be able to talk more smoothly. Try to find a subject that both you and her like. If one of her hobbies is also one of yours, then you are golden. Like I said, I can only talk for a long period of time to girls. My phone conversation with guys rarely go over 3 minutes. and if it does it must be something important. like explaining instructions or directions to something or somewhere.
Texting is way better
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Txting is not better...its easier, talking on the phone takes guts and creativity. You need to have opinions but not overzealous with them. Asking where the grew up, then explain how you grew up, trust that they want to hear but don't just be waiting for your turn to talk. When talking about movies think of some popular actors and movies they sucked in, point that out, it will raise a little bit of controversy sure but girls like that. And DO NOT be afraid to concede to their opinions. After you've done all that here where you turn talking into dating. Ya come up with some random question and phrase it in sure a way like she's on trial. It doesn't matter what the question is cause that not the point, the point is to get them to ask you the same question back AND BE PREPARED TO ANSWER. Then you ask them another question and they WILL do the same then it becomes a conversation of taking turns asking each other questions and before you know it you will have been on the phone for 3 or 4 hours. : )
I used to be the same way, then I realized its normal. This one guy I dated we realized we didn't have much to say at all, and its because we were both students at the time, in very different courses. I thought it'd be impossible for us to hook up, but we finally did, and we spent almost every day that summer together and neither of us got bored. Sometimes we'd just sit in a fieldor on my trampoline for hours, never saying much, and what we did say really had no significance to anything, something stupid my brother did, or some movie we wanted to see, that kind of stuff, most of the time we said nothing at all, and just sat there.
Its just the kind of person you are, sometimes if you can't think of anything natural to say, then saying nothing and enjoying a little silence is better than tryin to force a conversation.
yes but like triplet tia said...it may not necessarily you, it could be the other person on the other end of the phone that's the sucky conversationalist. personally, I can talk forever, if the person on the other end is interesting. I highly dislike talking to people who don't ever ask any questions, and even worse yet...when people only provide bare minimum answers its like come on damnit!
ex: hey what'd you do today?
other person: oh...nothing...
me:...oooooo kayyyyyyy...
*click*
but yeah anyways...conversations are a two way street. also, I believe ever since the advent of txting people have gotten too comfortable with not having to deal with a conversation in the moment, so would much rather txt than talk. anyway what I'm trying to say is don't feel bad because it doesn't mean you're weird or anything.
I HATE phones, I cannot keep a conversation on one, I mean in person I could talk her ear off, on MSN I can keep up a conversations. Texting and phone calls irritate me to no end, texting is too slow... it just gets to a point were you send smiley faces to each other. Talking on the phone is horrible, you can't keep a conversation going, because there is no interaction... I was thinking about this early this morning ironically, I got a phone call from the girl I'm seeing at 2 am saying she misses me and so on. After a quick run down of her night which was shortened further by the fact we had texted most of the time previous. It was just somewhat pointless. The only upside was hearing her voice.
As for me... I prefer talking because I feel texting is for wusses(no offence to anyone). I'd rather be there in the moment than think of what to type in a message next.
As for talking on the phone phone for hours, I feel like I would only be able to do such a thing with a significant other. Talking on the phone for hours isn't something I can do with anyone.
Other than a good substantial converstion, you could have fun with whoever your talking to and do some fun improv. For example... you call... they answer and say "hello"... reply with a "This is god"... If they are in the mood then you can play around and pretend to be god. Have fun with it.
Hope I could help.
I know it sounds lame, but ask questions like, "What did you do today?" Or, "What are you doing now?" Or, "What are you doing later?" Lol. And if you really want to get deep, ask the person how they are feeling. Unless the person doesn't like you and is like WHY is he calling me, I'm sure they'll be talkative. And then they can ask you the same questions, or if they don't, just SAY whatever you want to say by answering your own questions.
I don't think you necessarily have to talk for hours (I can never do that.) Just talk enough to check in and then meet up later. Good luck!
Yeah I'm like that also. I have a certain coworker that I obviously know really well, and when he calls me I'm reluctant to answer lol. He'll ask me what he called to ask, then he'll go off on some other story and I just want to get off the phone. Don't know what it is, I'm just not a fan of talking on the phone. The only time I really talk on the phone is to places like the insurance people, doctors office, school, etc. or with friends. When me and my friends talk, its for a max of 15 seconds.
"Hey man, what's up"
"Hey, where are we meeting up at?"
"Pick a spot, I don't care"
"Ok, at ___"
"Alright, see you there"
Thats usually how it goes lol
1. Internet chatting has ruined your social skills. You can't really 'lol' your way through a convo
2. Go out and do something eventful then you'll have something to talk about.
3. Ask her about her day, that's a good start.
4. Keep up with new events and latest news, might help with convo starters
5. If all else fails, then talk about the weather. bah..
I used to HATE talking on the phone until I got into a long distance relationship, and it was my only way to communicate. It takes practice and patience, and a few awkward long silences. Just talk about what you either of you did that day, and go from there. Tell stories, make jokes. Don't make it all serious, business-like conversation. If you're really worried, you should have a few conversation starters up your sleeve (just in case). Ask lots of questions! Goodluck, hope this helps =)
oh god I am. I'll get a call from a boyfriend or friend and the first few minutes are good with talk of what happened today or whatever but then that akaward silence hits and I'm out of stuff to say. I can't think of anything to talk about. It's horrible. When that happens I usually play the question game with a guy or ask about homework or domethny random. Good luck:)
I'm like this too >.>
My boyfriend ended up doing all the talking on the phone...especially our first phone call xD
I guess all you can do is ask questions. Like if you're trying to get to know someone, ask their favourites...colors music etc
If you already know some of that stuff, comment on it.."you remember that part in that movie where the guy did that thing? LOL" stuff like that
good luckkkk
phones are the epitome of evil devices. they always ring at the MOST inconvenient times (meetings, sleep, movies, bed...etc...) , have naggy and irritating people on the other side of it, whom are not within arms reach to smack upside the head in the likely event that something stupid has been said.
But they are convenient tools when used correctly, and the silent feature has been taken advantage of.
I was for the longest time because there was no time to figure out the perfect thing to say. So I felt pressured and then left an awkward silence. It turns out that it doesn't really matter what you talk about just as long as you talk. If your talking on the phone with someone that means they want to know more about you whether it be how your day went or what your relationship status is. Believe me, just talk about whatever happened to you. Nothing spectacular doesn't mean you failed.
Yeah, I totally feel you! I only talk on the phone if I have to. But it's like having a conversation in person, after saying hi- what next? Texting gives you more time to think of things to say without the pressure of an awkward silence while someone is physically there.
texting is quite superficial it also degraded us, we don't talk to people on the phone like we sued to, we don't talk to people face to face, so I guess you should just come up with topics to keep yourself and the person you talk to busy. I guess it comes with age.
I am bad at talking on the phone, luckily all I ever talk to is my best friend (a girl) and my girlfriend, so my job is pretty easy.
I just listen, learn more about the drama that surrounds them, ask questions that pop into my mind, give some advice if asked for, and listen more. Haha, its a good thing they both have very sweet voices that I enjoy listening to.
Yeah I'm the same. If I know the person and there's something currently happening to talk about then I'm fine. But mostly I prefer to text. And I hate random phone surveys or someone trying to sell me something. But if someone called and told me I've won a million dollars from some competition I've entered, then I might wanna talk to a random caller haha :)
yeah I'm like that , I just don't have anything to say and I think way too much of what to say. I get nervous .and when I do talk they say "What! I can't hear you!, why are you mumbling?" or they say "you talk about the same thing all the time, you already told me that". Iol I just try avoiding it. I m very shy that's why I perfer texting lol
Yes! I hate it, I'm so awkward on the phone! I feel bad too because when I'm away from my boyfriend he wants to talk on the phone, but he says I sound so depressed when I'm on the phone...I just stick to texting and video-chatting (for some reason the face-to-face contact of video chatting isn't awkward for me)
haha I fail @ it. I mean I can carry on a convo for hours with my boyfriend on tha fone ... but that's the only person. and I fail @ txting. I run out of things to say. but in person ... I'm never dull :D
social interaction is def tha way 2 go :)
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