When a guy doesn't pick up the phone, does it always mean he isn't interested?

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. When we are together he treats me like a queen. When I do talk to him on the phone he is always apologetic for not calling but still doesn't call much and admits he is really bad at that. He has told me he cares about me but can easily go 2 or 3 weeks with no contact.

We were friends first, we haven't slept together (mutual agreement until we both feel ready) and I love spending time with him but he never calls me! He always assures me that he loves spending time with me and he seems sincere but I've never been in a relationship where I had so little contact with someone. I'm not generally an insecure person but I feel that he is sending mixed signals. I'm always the one to initiate contact.. it's kind of humiliating.

[Anonymous]

I don't use the phone unless its to make concrete plans. I prefer meeting and interacting with people face to face. I have a friend I love spending time with but unless she calls me, I don't ring her up of my own accord unless I am returning a call or making plans. Despite the fact that most people have their faces embedded in their cells not everyone likes using them. Honestly I've known a lot of men who don't call and aren't big on it but otherwise enjoy spending time together and are very affectionate. Real life as someone said is so much better go out have a coffee and chat, take a nice walk (I go on a lot of walks with my friends), interact. Don't wait by the phone you won't obsess about it so much if you actually continue to have a life of your own, sometimes when we get involved we sort of give up exercise, hobbies, friends and just pin all our happiness and sense of fulfillment on a partner and that's a lot of pressure and its totally unreasonable and unfair. You are responsible for your happiness. You could tell him that you would like to talk with him more/spend more time and decide on fun alternatives to the phone. If you must have the phone then tell him that you really enjoy talking on the phone and would like him to ring you up more.

[Asker]

You're right. It's not so much that he isn't calling to talk on the phone.. I want to spend more time with him. I'm also not big on talking on the phone a whole lot, I just want to know that he is thinking about me. Even if he's calling just to make plans. I'm comfortable having my own life and him having his but I sort of feel like I did give up some of my interests to make more time for him (at his request) and now I'm barely hearing from him.. it's easy to correct I'm a busy person by nature.

[Opinion Owner]

Just let him know how you feel and make sure not to forget your own interests and identity =)

[browolf]

Not necessarily. but It doesn't really matter though.

If his normal behavior is not how you want things to be. You've no choice to ditch him as fundamentally incompatible.

[Shaun]

Real life relationships are superior. Work on cultivating that.