Why is he only affectionate when he's drinking?

I've been seeing this guy a little over 3 months. He calls and texts me all the time & he seems to like me. but he only hugs, kisses me or says sweet things if he's drinking. Not even drunk per say but just even a couple drinks. I don't get it, does he not actually like me? If we hang out when he isn't drinking at all it's more like we're just friends. When he's been drinking it's more like we're "together" I'm so confused.

I'm so frustrated, I don't understand. When he's drinking he's all "you have no idea how much I like you." & mumbling "I love U" under his breathe then pretending he didn't say anything, then when he's sober. He's distant and aloof


Most Helpful Guy

  • A lot of people are inhibited and can't express their feelings, especially emotionally dangerous ones, unless they have 'had a couple.' This is the root of a lot of alcoholism. The alcohol defeats the inhibition centers in the brain.

    So many people have such STRONG inhibition from years of observing social taboos that they can't be anything like spontanous without alcohol--traditionally--or other drugs more recently.

    So you should feel sorrry for him at first, and encourage him to get some counseling. Try to get him to practice being affectionate when sober. Like any other behavior, practice usually helps, especially when it's 'safe'--at least I assume it's safe with you!