How to get over being used?

Long story short I found out this guy has been using me for sex for over a year. I was verging on loving him but he apparently didn't like me at all and called me an idiot for not realizing this all sooner. He basically completely changed as throughout the year he lead me to believe he did like me. Please don't call me an idiot for falling for his games as I already know I am. Just tell me how I can get over this? I feel like crap since he'd been lying to me all this time. Oh yes and he took my virginity so it just gets better


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, one way to get over it is simply to accept it.

    Accept the fact that almost everyone winds up regretting how they lost their virginity. Also accept that most young guys are hardwired to want to seek out multiple partners. They can't really help it. It's a fact of biology. So most young guys are basically scum.

    The good news is, that as guys get older and a little more mature, they stop being such scumbags.

    I'd suggest you date casually for a while. Don't have sex, but date a lot of different guys in the short term. Get to know them as individuals. Get to know what men are like, when sex isn't a complicating factor. Keep your emotional distance as much as possible, by dating only in the short term.

    You'll find that guys (particularly guys who are no longer ruled to the point of insanity by hormones) are just people. They have a different set of needs, and they think differently to women... but they're not some hideous alien beasts. They're just people. And when you've learned a lot about the different types of guys you've met in the world, then you can find one to date seriously. And take a while, even a long while, before you decide to sleep with him.

    You'll find it's more rewarding that way.