I went through my boyfriend's phone?

I went through my boyfriends phone while he was in the shower this morning and saw a message to another girl that said hey gorgeous. etc etc.

anyway this morning on the way to work I asked if he was sleeping with other girls.. he said no.

then I blatantly told him I went through his phone. without mentioning the messages. I said I shouldn't have done it but I did.

he said it was an invasion of privacy (he was right, I'm embarrassed I've never done anything like that before)

either way.. he didn't mention the messages. And he said he couldn't even think about it right now because he had a lot of other stuff on his mind.

i think we are gonna break up. I want to. I don't trust him.

i guess my question is.. how do I get out of this without looking like the crazy bitch that went through his phone?


Thanks for all the support y'all.. planning on the break up.. boys suck.. except you stanley ;)


Most Helpful Guy

  • What makes you a crazy bitch? How is going through his phone when you are suspicious any different than a detective snooping around someone's house or car for evidence of a crime? Sure it's an invasion of privacy, but the main problem is that he was possibly cheating on you with another girl. If all you found were messages to his granny telling her to be careful to not fall and hurt her hip, then you'd be a snoop, but that's all.

    Did your curiosity get the better of you? Hard to say that it did since you discovered something you needed to know about. The real risk is finding something and taking it out of context.


What Guys Said 5

  • Why do all boys have to suck, I promise you would like me if you knew me... You can't generalize all guys just because you found an asshole... Don't get down on the whole gender cause your BF is a bad seed... Get to know more of the good ones and I will redeem your faith in men...

    • Haha .. redeemed.. nice work

    • Anything for you...

  • Well I'm glad you want to break up the relationship, because I've been in the same situation for many months now where my girlfriend keeps looking at my messages when I'm not around. I hate not being trusted, and when a guy can't be trusted by his girlfriend they feel the relationship isn't worth anything.

    It is invasion to privacy. And it's not fair, however tempting it is.

  • I'm glad it worked out.

  • First of all, shame on you for checking his phone.

    Second, break up with him.


What Girls Said 5

  • I actually went through my ex's phone and found texts from a girl telling him she wants his big dick again... Hmm.. We are no longer together. I think if you want to break up with him, then do it. If he had to text a girl Hey gorgeous? Then he is looking. Trust is a major part of a relationship and he has lost yours. Tell him the truth. Tell him, you can't trust him and move on. He doesn't deserve any more than that. You don't have to mention his phone..He already knows. Trust me. He knew when you told him about the phone. He had time to fess up but he didn't. Again, the trust thing. He could have come clean then. Just break up with him.

  • Apologize again for doing it. You shouldn't have, and you admit that.

    But I want to point out that you did it for a reason.

    I'd also like to point out your boyfriend avoiding talking about it by saying he "had a lot of stuff on his mind. " Don't let him get away with that. I don't mean to be crude, but that's a pile of horse s**t.

  • That's why I never do these things, because the risk is big that you find something upsetting and then bringing it up makes you a noisy paranoid freak etc.

    I once long time ago went through one of my ex phone (we didn't have anything serious then just sex) and it was very upsetting to see that he had all these messages from other girs but I never brought it up.

  • So first off, as long as you know you shouldn't have snooped than you aren't "the crazy bitch". Haha I like your word choice though. You said it yourself-you never do things like this. Obviously something made you curious enough to do it. Rightfully so. And if he said he can't think about it because he has a lot of other stuff on his mind, that's his way of trying to make YOU feel bad when in fact he's definately doing something he's not supposed to be doing and didn't expect to get caught. He's thinking thank god you found out this way because now he has the opportunity to try and turn the blame, plus he can buy more time by using that pile 'o poo excuse. Just tell him straight up what you think. "sorry I looked through your phone, but its a good thing I did because now I know what you're all about....bye!"

  • Follow your instincts. If your little voice is telling you something is wrong than you are probably right. Keep checking up on him for a few weeks/months. When you are certain he is up to no good, then just leave him. He'll just lie if you confront him. I have NEVER been sorry for invading anyones privacy if it led me out of a bad situation. All is fair in love and war. And when I busted the jerk cheating, I counted my blessings I got out while the getting was good. If I didn't find anything, then I chalked it up to my insecurities and negative past experiences and excused myself of the infarction. I sleep soundly at night knowing I'm not being duped.