Why do some people refuse to date within their own race?

Let me start by saying I've dated all different types of females and every different race including my own, so this isn't about me. I had a friend tell me that he refuses to date within his own race. I also had a female friend tell me she prefers to date outside of her race. When I asked them why, they didn't really have a good reason.

I'd love to hear different answers on this topic please. NO RACE WARS THOUGH! IM DEFINITELY NOT TRYING TO START ONE!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I've always hated hearing about people doing that, now I am considering it. As bad as this is to say, finding a decent guy that is dating material of my own race is like finding a needle in a haystack. I feel guilty like I'm betraying my race but you have to do what you gotta do to be happy right? I am really tired of the thug mentality, or abusive ways, or lack of ambition, playerism, materialism, or jealousy and self hatred that so many guys have. It makes dating kind of exhausting. I know it's hard to find a good guy regardless of race, but I feel it's honestly harder to find a good black guy. If you do he probably likes white girls lol.

    • Funny you say that because that's how I feel about black women. ( I am a young black male by the way.) I'm not saying that as a cheap shot. All of my black female friends who are worth my time either date thugs, or white men. I get where you're coming from though...

What Girls Said 5

  • I'm hispanic and find that I just have a physical weakness for blonde hair and blue eyes. Some hispanics are this but I don't know. I have dated all races but am engaged to a blonde guy with blue eyes. It's just how it worked out.

  • Because I've been so Westernized. I tend to find it hard to relate to guys from my own race that have not been as Westernized as much as I am - my values and ideas of fun differs greatly from theirs. Mind you, I wouldn't mind it if I date a guy from my own race that shares similar values with me.

  • I married very young to a white man and after the divorce dated white men exclusively, I always said it wasn't by design, but it was. Finally I tired and said to the universe that I was ready to meet someone else. He was an african-american man with all the attributes I thought I found attractive typically in white men, only thing was he wasn't white. Reluctantly, I finally agreed to go out with him and fell madly in love with him,

    I personally think that you love who you love. I don't care if they're the color of a baboon's ass, love should transcent the color of skin. With that said, I must admit that I discovered a comfort I'd never known in a relationship before. There were things we understood about each other and our culture without ever having to have a discussion about it. We shared a history, behaviors, and a perception that cannot be learned or acquired. The comfort in that was amazing.

  • I like to be with those my race or similar so I'm exact opposite but for me its because I find them more compatiple and sharing similar interests as me. I guess those who refuse to be with those their own race its probably because some people are too 'cultured' and so that can be overwhelming. I hate being with somebody who is TOO cultural by definition because there's more to life than that I think. I'm just blabbing.


What Guys Said 4

  • i come off as not wanting to date girls of my own race..but what I mean is.. ill always take longer to be sure than I would with other races... one major problem for me is the stereotype..i don't like the stereotypes for my race.. that's why I don't even pursue any careers that are affiliated with people of my race..besides that.. its a big world out there..ive been lucky enough be everywhere.. japan.. morocco.. egypt.. india.. almost everywhere except london..and the point is.. there are SOO many women with many different personalities and why would I end up back in square 1 with my own race haahaha..

  • Anyone who refuses to date within their own race is being racist, by definition.

    • Does that mean that someone who doesn't date outside of their race is racist?

    • What if I a Republican and most of my race is Democrats am I Racist then. come on man that makes no sense. if most of my family democrat and I don't hate them no way I be racist. personally I don't think they want to date me anyways once the figure out I'm a republican please correct me if I'm wrong. Racist by def is hated someone based on race that's it. But to refuse to date someone on conduct of character not Racist my friend. that's probably why a lot of black woman are and wil be dateing out .

  • I've never dated within my race, but it's never intentional.

    I've fooled around with girls for my own race and many others, but it's usually white girls that become girlfriends. I don't know if it's because they're quicker want to enter a relationship or just because I'm around them a lot, but that's kinda how it's been. But there's no preference on my part.

    But I do know that some people feel a social obligation to date outside their race.

    As if they've failed by falling into the conformity of dating their race.

    But race mixing is always good fun, so there's really no harm done.

    Besides, we're all kinda the same race, my human brother.

  • I haven't met a girl, who is white, who I found particularly interesting to hang out with. They've always been black, latino or something else.