Is it really that bad for a girl to hook up a lot?

[Anonymous]

I'm in college right now, and I'm just trying to have fun. I hook up with a lot of guys...and I mean usually at least one every weekend.

The thing is though, I have boundaries. I'm a virgin and I'm saving sex for someone special. And I don't give head to random guys either. I save that for guys I know better or for friends.

Taking into account that I don't do much with the guys I hook up with, is it still slutty of me to hook up with a lot of guys? Imo, the whole double standard "lock and key" thing is unfair. I don't see myself as a girl being gotten by a bunch of guys, rather a girl getting a bunch of guys, like a guy would get girls.

Plus, if I were to get a boyfriend I would be completely loyal. I prefer just being with one guy sexually if I like them, but if I'm single then I don't mind having a little fun either.

What's your opinion of a girl like this? Guys, would you a date a girl if she was like this?

I think that's slutty /wouldn't date her

Don't care /would date her if I like her

More power to ya! /would date

Updates

+1 y

Ahhh sorry for the confusion everyone! Where I'm from, "hooking up" doesn't mean sex haha. But yeah by hooking up I mean making out, getting handsy, minimal clothing, and occasional but very rarely oral; so really not too much in terms of going far

[Prof_Don]

First off, dammit, I voted "B:.

Second, I don't like that lock-and-key scenario. As a male, I can't imagine condoning ANYTHING that gives negative feedback to a female having casual sex. That's removing casual sex partner from me and my gender's pool of mates..and that double standard simply isn't fair.

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I don't see anything wrong with this...just understand that EVERYTHING you do does, and is, recorded into your "social record".

Guys definitely gossip; we just don't use that word choice because "gossiping is what girls do". Regardless, us males playfully discuss girls getting around, who she's getting around with, specifics about what she's done and her "skill-set"...and the rep she gets by who she chooses and how often she does get around.

How this will affect your dating scenario, truly depends on the guys you hookup with, who they know, and how those guys in question view a female that consistently has casual hookups.

Is it a pro because she's sexually aggressive = good in bed?...

...

...or is this a con because she can't be trusted to be faithful and has little-to-no control over her lust (especially when alcohol and drugs are involved)?

Guys will NEVER view your activities as "you picking up guys"...because that takes almost no skill at all for a female to get a guy to hookup with her, compared to a guy hooking up with a female.

***Actions of little difficulty get no merit.***

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Remember that females CAN DO THE SAME THING...but most don't.

Females on average are more forgiving about a guy with "casual sexual experience" because subconsciously...

...she thinks a guy that has more "experience" means, to be blunt, his odds to make her body feel good sexually are A LOT higher.

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Now THAT is a double standard (that favors sexual promiscuity in males) that is never talked about!

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I was no super-chaste young man when I was in college and only had one monogamous relationship while in college (although people THOUGHT I was because of my baby-face and "nice-&-sweet" personality)...

...

...

...so who the hell am *I* to dismiss a girl that is doing the same thing I was?

We're all human and we all have "needs".

I wouldn't have a problem dating a female like you...as long as in my gut and my mind, I can trust you.

Just because she was single and getting her "needs met" without someone with the title of 'boyfriend', 'fiance', or 'husband'...doesn't mean she's a potential cheater.

Dudes on this site can be such prudes about female sexuality.

[Prof_Don]

i meant to vote "C" but clicked "B" by accident! :-P

[InquisitiveMale]

Oral sex isn't really hooking up with someone in the classical sense. Ether way, I wouldn't have a problem with it so long as your careful and don't go around selling yourself for favors. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a girl who enjoys her sexuality. It's natural and healthy.

That being said, and this is where my down votes will come from if they do indeed come, I understand the double standard. The difference between men and women is that in order for a man to have allot of sexual partners he needs to be good looking, funny, charming, and a good lair (if not all around awesome). In order for a woman to have allot of sexual partners she just has to be there.

[InquisitiveMale]

p.s. all the guys below saying they think your a slut based on what you're doing are only saying that because they themselves are not able to get any. The disdain what they themselves cannot achieve.

[Prof_Don]

I concur with your comment; those dudes are speaking out of bitterness

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I disagree with oral sex not really hooking up, but mostly agree with your answer.

[NoOneListens21]

well it says guys...but I'm going to answer anyways lol. =P

You mean oral and such? Because you said you're still a virgin. I guess it would depend on how much you "hooked up" I thought you meant sex when you said hook up. =/ I guess it depends on the guy. I don't know too many guys who ask about how many guys you've been with either =/ unless the subject gets brought up some how. College you usually experiment and some people may do so more than others.

There was this p*rn star who ended up getting married or something like that with this man who didn't know who she was at first but she told him and it didn't make him love her any less. So I guess it depends on who you want to be with and if they can accept that. It would probably be looked at from a much better view if it wasn't you f***ing all these guys and maybe just messing around. Again, can't speak 4 all the men.

Personally I wouldn't want someone who hooked up a lot. =/ but that is just mi. Hope it helps.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

It makes her look...

1. Easy.

It doesn't take much to get in her pants. Not only is there no challenge, but it's just a bad look when you're trying to find someone you want to take seriously and a ton of people know what they look like naked and all about their bedroom moves.

2. Sleazy.

She doesn't mind jepordizing her romantic reputation and sexual health as long as she can get a guy to make her cum. That's a terrible look for a lady or potential serious girlfriend.

3. Hypocritical.

It is purely hypocritcal to be a virgin and claim you want to save sexuality for someone special yet you are giving away your body to many guys.

By the time you find a guy you want to be loyal to, most guys won't take you seriously.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I really think that not as many guys care for a challenge as girls might think. It's more that guys just don't like to "share" and if she is "easy" many don't like the idea of being compared to others or sharing or whatnot.

[Opinion Owner]

TheGodEmperorLeto, possibly, but I'm sure there are some guys, who like me, are not intimidated, are very secure in our sexual skill, yet just think it's sleazy for someone to be going around sharing their juices with everyone.

[kheserthorpe]

These are sayig the same thing. One is the outcome, one is te mechanism.

[Opinion Owner]

khesi, stop talking like you know everything.

[KryHeart]

I think this is perfectly acceptable. There's a line between slut and being single and enjoying it. If you aren't sleeping around and being really irresponsible, then I don't see what the problem is. I mean, you can go out on tons of dates with guys and still be single. The moment you get into a serious relationship, you should definitely slow your roll, but I think at the moment, you're just having a good time, and that's fine. :)

[Anonymous]

It's not bad but I probably wouldn't date you because I would think you're a female player and that you would get bored fast and move on leaving me with a broken heart. I don't ever hook up with anybody unless I have feelings for them and I know girls that do and say they have feelings and if I believe them it means they have feelings for lots of different guys and I have no interest in being just another one of their guys.

My answer is more power to you if that is what you enjoy but I would not date you.

[strawberrynecklace]

I think as long as you keep your own personal boundaries, and don't brag about it who cares! :) Seriously, it's your own life, you can do what you want. And if anyone gives you sh*t for doing that you can tell them to stick it cause its none of their business :)

[ryanontario]

it doesn't make a huge difference to me that your out there meeting other people . I would disagree at how pure you are if your out giving guys bj's but still claim to be a virgin in the sense . I guess you've never had physical sex but have done oral sex often .

overall if I was really attracted to you it wouldn't make much of a difference and I might still be interested

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

It's not bad, but it's not what I'm looking for. So I wouldn't ever date her. It's just clear we don't value it the same way and that'd be a problem for me as it's not what I want in a partner.

But no, I don't think it's bad or wrong for anyone to hook up a lot. It might come off immature depending on why or how, but it's really situational at that point.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

I'd say you're still going too far for my tastes. But that's me.

[Anonymous]

I'm probably gonna get down voted but whatever. Seeing how you're not sleeping with them I wouldn't consider you slutty or anything, but back to back make out-oral whatever , word eventually might get around and that's where people might try dropping the S word on you and guys might think you're easy. Just my 2 cents.

[pezzonovante88]

I thought 'hooking up' meant sex. You probably shouldn't go around saying you 'hook up with at least one [guy] every weekend.' People will think you mean you're having sex with one guy at least every weekend.

But to answer your question, hanging out with different guys every weekend is fine.

[dnately]

Do whatever feels good and right to you and don't worry about what other think about it. Just keep safe.

[justme20]

nope! why should it be bad for us? we are JUST as sexual! hell men do it so be your free sexual self

[Anonymous]

I guess it's not bad if you don't think it is. However, I wouldn't date a girl that did such. It wouldn't cross my mind from that point on.

[jokersgirl]

You're not really hooking up with them.. you're just making out it seems, somtimes with oral

[Anonymous]

thats not hooking up if you are not doing something sexual. occasional bj doesn't matter

[Asker]

no we do sexual things obviously, everything up till oral is fair game haha

[Karass]

Each to there own I choose b

[lv4lv]

No. It's how you do it that matters though.