Is this a sugarcoated rejection? What does she mean in the last part?

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with this girl for more than a year now.. Like really close and evolved into intimacy. And we fell in love with each other, at least that's what I think. We didn't know how it happened. Although I knew from the start she has big commitment issues, I can't help it. After a week of not talking we decided to "clear things up" last night. She started with "I like you" but she told me that this shouldn't be happening. That she wants it, but she doesn't want to want it. She asked me what should we do about it, what I want to do about it.. I told her "It doesn't matter what I want to do about it because you don't want it" she said "Yes, I don't want it" I asked her "With the person (me) or in general" she answered "in general, I like you duh" and then she suggested that we should be back to "normal" I told her "easy for you, hard for me" and she replied "Do you think this is easy for me? This is really hard for me. I was good at rejecting people and moving on but with you it's really hard. You're different" Before we ended it I asked her "What are you afraid of?"(although I knew, she tells me everything, she trusts me she said) "You know it. I've told you from the start. And one more thing I have this goal I want to achieve before opening up to a relationship again. I can be alone, maybe someday when I can't be alone maybe I'll be with someone" I joked "I still have after five years" (It was a deal jokingly? before that after 10 years I would order her usual coffee order written "Where have you been all my life?" she asked if we can cut it down to 5, 10 is too long lol) she just smiled and then laugh. So I walked her to the elevator like I always do. she doesn't want me walking her anymore. So just I said "I just want to ride the elevator. not for you" "This is the last" and I saw it, the sadness when I told her that this would be the last. When I got home I got a text message from her "I wish the old you and me would come back. But not now, right?" Me: "What old you and me?" her: You know what. It's different now right? It changed. (Im not sure if she's what she's saying is because I was avoiding her for a week)

me: I'm still here. her: I know but until when? me: Until you want me to. her: That would be very long.

I want to fight for her. and respect her individuality at the same time. What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

She have shared with me her stories before when we were just friends. I can see how broken she is. I've known everything. She just dates someone but doesn't want to be with them in the end. she rejects them harshly. I've seen it. She sometimes cry because she feel really bad about herself. I can see through her, with me she can be vulnerable. Maybe that's why she doesn't want to get me involved with her. But I believe in her and I want to fix her.

[JohnScofield]

Friend, you can "Fix" anyone. If they want to be "fixed" then you can help, but if they don't want to, there is nothing you can do about it. THis is why there is the saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." It seems you have been there for her, loved her, etc., but you can't fix it...

If you are not careful, you will drive her away. But you will do as you do, so I wish you well on it.

[Asker]

Thanks man for answering, can I ask you another question, you seem like a very practical man. Was it alright that we'd be back to "normal"? That she still wants me there. And I do too, because we're really close. but Isn't that being unfair to my self because I know deep down I have feelings and she closed the book.

[JohnScofield]

I get what your saying:

I am not sure you can go back to normal for exactly the reason you say. You do have to be true to yourself and find what you are looking for. That said (and I know you are not suggesting this) there is no reason that you have to drop a bomb on her and say "Hey I can't do this." I think you just begin moving on. You can talk to her from time to time, etc. but I don't see why you just have to flat end all contact. BUt yes it is fine to move on. Girls can be hard!

[Asker]

Man, you were right! But I'm okay now. We kind of ended our friendship.. because I got offended when she suggested that I was asking for her to get "Karma" and rub it in my face because she's getting played by another guy. And to my surprise she's the one who got mad and when I smile at her in campus she pretends to not notice me. I really don't get that part, I mean she's the one who hurt me and she's reacting vice versa. Met an amazing girl though! Thanks again!

[JohnScofield]

this is a little hard to understand, but if I was on the receiving end of that, I would assume that it was time for me to move on... though it is hard and seems crazy. (I mean really... it seems crazy... but I think you are right, I think she is sugar coating things.)

I am sorry about that bro...