Guys what does it mean when you want to take a break?

my boyfriend has been getting mad at me for everything..he started talking to a girl he slept with and her friend texted and said she was trying to have sex with him again I asked him about it and he started tripping out on me and said he wanted to take a break but continue talking to me until he gets his head cleared..i was pregnant and miscarried I told him tonight before I left the bar and he said he doesn't want to talk right now and I told him that I loved him and he said it back..he was complimenting me all day and asking what I had planned for the night and I went out with my friend her boyfriend and his friend to go to a bar and he got mad that her bfs friend was there because my boyfriend doesn't like him because of a fight we all got into and he called me fat but then apologized so I didn't mind that he came along..does he just need time apart? does he want to sleep with other women? I'm so confused and hurt right now.. I want to wait for him and get back together but I know if I told him I wanted a break he wouldn't even get back with me..i just don't know what to do anymore or what to say to him. he was the one who braught up getting pregnant and I agreed and then when it didn't happen for awhile he was mad at me for it and then when it happened he starting getting weird then normal then weird again...i just don't know how to react to all of this..i need him the most now since I lost the baby but he won't talk to me. should I just not text him unless he texts me first? he hasn't changed his relationship status on fb just has been adding a lot of females..he said he would always be mine and hopes that I'm not out doing things that I shouldn't and was asking where I was at and what I was doing and who I was with..i am staying faithful to him even though he left but is he staying faithful to me? he also said he needs a break now to clear his head before it gets worse and he is changing...what does that mean? will he come back to me or realize that he doesn't want to be with me? I'm trying to prepare myself for the worst but its too hard to lose him.

he texted tonight and said he needs to know if I can have kids or not. He is upset about the miscarrige and needs to know cause he wants kids..i told him to choose to be with me or be alone. If he loves me he wouldn't leave because of this. I don't want to know what he has been doing with other whores. This is his last chance and if he f***s it up he will be put in my past with second guessing.
we are going to talk just getting to the point I'm done with everyone and I'm going to talk to a navy recruiter this week..he has been talking to me normal now..idk what to do I want to leave but I dont. I hate my emotions...what do you guys think he would do if I left?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's over, is interested in someone else. My girlfriend did the same exact thing to me and two weeks later she was sleeping with another guy and broke up with me. I wish I had protected my self and prepared my self for the worst rather than waiting and hoping...

    It's a terrible thing to do because it basically allows the other person to start healing from the time they say while still being able to talk to you to make it easier. And when they are ready they'll break up with you and you will be crushed :/.

    • i wish I would have gone by this from the start man, he left a few weeks later and then didn't speak to me for 5 months then called me crying begging for me to take him back..i took him back and we now have a house together but it still hurt like hell when he sorry that happened to you, but it gives you a chance to find someone better

What Guys Said 11

  • Unless he gave SPECIFIC terms about the break (is talking to other guys/girls OK, is going on dates with other guys/girls OK, is kissing or being sexual with other guys/girls is OK, time frame of the break, contact or no contact between the two of you, etc.)...




    ...he simply wants to hold on to you as backup, and pursue other girls. If things go well with another girl, he'll go with her and dump you.

    If things DONT go well and he can't find another girl, then he'll go back to you.


    Frankly, QA, I don't believe that ANYONE should be anyone's "Plan B". I'm the type that either says we're completely together or completely broken up.

    I may sound pressuring, frankly because in that scenario, I damn well would be pressuring. No bullsh*t of putting me on layaway while she goes shop around other guys.

    I'd be damned if I get used like that by another person.

    P.S. I may sound like an a**hole, but I'm really not. I'm just passionate about this topic. :)

  • The whole concept of a break is stupid. Usually this is people asking permission to cheat. If you like some enough to be in a relationship, you should want to be around that person. If you don't, you shouldn't be in a relationship with that person and break it off. If someone needs space, then that's what it should be. But, what that should be is space while still remaining in a relationship with the rules still in place. With this break, he can do whatever he wants and not be in the wrong, yet it will still hurt you, bad. I know the guy is supposed to be the leader, but you should've stood up for yourself and made terms such as being with other girls during this "break" means we re done for good. You don't want a guy who messing around with other girls. If he just needs to clear his head, that's not necessary. But, No body can say for certain why he is doing this or what he'll do.

  • Taking a break is normally code for "I want to break up but I'm too chicken to call it quits or I want to keep my options open in case what I'm working on doesn't pan out".

  • A break can mean different things to different people. I've only used the "break" once, and that was because the girl I was with refused to accept a straight up break-up and I didn't know what else to do other than say lets go and a brak and see what happens. Truth is, I didn't have any intention of getting back together. So, when I hear the term "break" that is what usually comes to my mind. But maybe this guys just needs some room to breathe. Maybe he'll test the waters and either like it or realize that he wants you back. I don't think anyone can read. I do understand your frustration though. I wish you the best.

  • There's another chick he's seeing.

    Prep to protect yourself.

    If you have anything of his, put it in a box and into that closet that is closest to the door.

    And vice versa; start gathering anything of yours from him in whatever few visits you can manage to his place.

    But short term answer: it's over.

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What Girls Said 4

  • He wasn't supportive of you when you had a miscarriage and blamed you? You need to stay away from this man (I feel wrong even calling him that) honestly you deserve a LOT better. Not to mention all of the other sh*t. He's trying to string you along. Just be strong and walk the other way. Ignore him and tell him you're moving on with your life.

  • It means he would like to start sleeping w other girls. Do your heart a huge favor and break all ties w him. He does not love you or he would not leave you. Please don't degrade yourself by sticking around for whatever scraps he decides to throw your way.

  • Ditch him

  • Don't be stupid. Your boyfriend is using you as back up, I'm sorry for what happened but your boyfriend is being a tool. Don't put yourself on pause for a guy whose probably going to be sleeping around and talking to other females. You should never be so dependent on a person you become a damn mat.