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I held the door open for a man and he said "no" and made me go through first. What's the deal?!

Why can't I open the door for a man?

I find this very peculiar !

Most Helpful Opinion

What Guys Said 24

  • Either he's very old school about ladies first, or he just wanted to check out your behind, personally, when I do this, it's to check out girls' behinds.

  • lol I liked what 'confusedashell91' says and she deserves the BA lol

    But on a serious note I'll answer this as it's something that has been a deep rooted principle with me ever since I realized my senses :D I'd hold a door open for a lady / woman anytime immaterial of her age or social status as I'd do for someone senior in age too immaterial of their gender.

    For one it's Chivalry (I'm kind of victorian with that aspect of life) and I think every lady deserves to be treated like one and this has nothing to do with treating or not treating a woman as an equal. I think women are as equal to everyone it's just that we all have different roles to play as ordained by nature.

    I also offer lifts to older people when I see them walking in the direction I'm heading (there are times when I go exactly the opposite direction too - if I can and time permits). I don't offer lifts to ladies unless they ask or they are way too old for the plain fear of being mistaken for something else lol

    I also stand up when a lady walks into my chamber or table - lots of people laugh / mock at this but it's OK those are my values

  • You should be flattered!

    He beleives being a gentleman means you never enter a room before a lady if you are at the door at the same time. Men, rather gentleman are taught to open doors, pull out chairs, hold your hand as you cross the street, etc. For some men these teachings are so ingrained that they can experience an almost paralysis when the order is not followed.

    But it shouldn't be particularly peculiar. He has manners and adheres to them. You should be flattered!

    ...either that or he wanted to get a glimps of your butt (haha but probably not)

  • I do the same. It's called "chivalry". Some men refuse to let women lift things over 10 pounds or open doors in their vicinity. I'm an advocate of "Ladies first" as many men are.

  • There is nothing wrong with opening the door for a man but there is also nothing wrong with the guy being gentleman enough to just let the lady go by first. I do that very often because I just don't find it nice... But I do look at the body language of the woman. Sometimes you get the vibe "come on man, I am getting late and now I have to open the door for YOU?". If I get a vibe that is not out of courtesy, then I just say thank you and go by.

  • He's trying to be polite.

  • In proper circles, he was wrong and you feel it.

    It is a custom for a man to open a door for a woman but.

    It is rude if one person offers an act of simple kindness and it is rebuffed due to machismo type or ego type of prejudges. He has a problem with his own manhood.

    The average guy would have thought "that georguse woman just opened the day for me, so the days will make my day".

    Good luck,

    • I have little machismo, ego, or prejudice. My my manners say that even if a girl is holding the door I'll offer to let her go first... That said I'm not going to stand there and refuse to enter if she insists on me going in first

    • rebuff is pretty strong - if it is said with a gracious thank you and a smile "after you" should be accepted in the spirit it is offered.

  • I find that odd too. If someone is holding the door open for me I wouldn't do that. It just seems awkward.

  • It feels wrong to many guys...For me it just feels wrong...and when I do walk in first and let some woman hold the door for me I feel bad...cant quite pin it down..it just is not a good feeling.

    • THIS. Its called chivalry. Has nothing to do with belittle women. Its just a sign of respect, and women deserve respect.

    • Yes...it is all about respect.

  • Sounds like he took the chivalry thing a little too far. I offer my seat to women, especially pregnant or elderly women. But if a girl is holding the door open for me, that is nice. I would appreciate the gesture and walk in. And maybe get her number.

  • Nothing wrong in opening a door. perhaps he very gentleman type & believe in ladies 1st approach.

  • I know the best answer is already selected but some of these responses are so wrong and stupid. It has nothing to do with sexism or being awkward or whatever.

    A good man just likes practicing chivalry and treating women with respect. He didn't accept your offer because it felt reversed to him and made him feel rude. He should be the one holding the door for you. It's not like its belittling you. Its just a common sign of respect. Its not that peculiar.

  • There are just some perks that women get simply for being a woman. Just accept it. Assume that it goes toward trying to make-up for a small fraction of the discrimintation women have historically faced.

  • I agree 100% with Distant on this one. It is chivalry. I know it's a dying art for men to want to do it and women now a day's don't know how to react to it. Which is why I like the older generation for that.

    • from an older guy - thank you so much! Seriously, it is just plain good manners.

  • He was probably really old fashioned. So he believes in men holding the door open for women. It is peculiar but I feel the same way, I allways open or hold a door for a woman. Of course if a woman were to open a door for me I wouldn't say no. If anything I would just say thank you or that's OK you go first. But I don't think the man you held the door for meant anything by "no" he just preferred to be the one holding the door and not the woman. That's my best guess at least. If I'm wrong he could of just been having a bad day.

  • Chivalry. Enjoy it. In an increasingly selfish society, it's a rarity.

  • It's considered common courtesy to always let a lady go first. It's considered gentlemanly.

  • He's probably in shock, give him time to process.

  • he is weird. He was trying to be nice to you, but he obviously is a bit awkward, and therefore it got wrong. Don't take stock in it.

  • Sound's like a tool

  • What a chivalrous dog...*chuckles*

  • He just believes in "women first"...that's all

  • sounds like a bastard

  • Never heard of "ladies first" apparently.

What Girls Said 8

  • Depends on how old he is/you are.

    There are a couple reasons I can think of 1) You have a nice ass.

    2) He's VERY traditional

    3) He doesn't like people behind him

    4) He's very superstitious

    5) His entire plan was to make you spend the rest of your day thinking about him. (It worked, too)

  • Chivalry! I love chivalrous guys

  • He was being a gentleman. Well brought-up men hold doors open for women.

  • He wants to see your ass

    • and legs too - one of the benefits of chivalry and good manners!

    • Lol

  • Aww..you don't find that much everyday and he's a gentlemen I wouldn't be mad about it unless there was really a trap lol. But that's a really nice move he made honestly you don't find that much anymore.

  • my daughters boyfriend is this way. lol he will insist on taking the door from me to hold it open for me instead OR he will run you over to get to the door first to hold it open. It's sweet. I approve ;P Other men like at the grocery store or whatever I will open doors for them all the time and as long as they say thanks it's cool but sometimes...rude! they just walk through like it's my job.

  • the guy I liked for 4 years didn't hold the door for me he just took off to talk to some guy #brokenheart

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