What's it like being a guy?

Whenever I see guys with their friends, they're always competitive, laughing and they can be really mean to each other- they don't really seem to give the same emotional support as girls give each other. What do guys feel about that?

Girls also tend to be on a long roller coaster- lots of highs and lows jam packed with hormones. Is it the same thing for guys or not?

Also, how do you feel about all the pressure being put on you I mean, isn't it really hard to always be told to "be strong" not to cry, ask girls out, propose to them, be gentlemanly, etc?


Most Helpful Guy

  • OK first question about guys, we tease each other because that's how we help each other out, if we were giving complements to each other we would be hurting ourselves.

    Being harsh to each other is what helps us to get a bit emotionally stronger than before and to not give a damn. Girls on the other hand are naturally emotionally strong, and sometimes all they need is some reassurance of how they are doing.

    About second question, the difference is not that we don't feel the rollercoasters is that we try to escape from them, we guys like to feel one or two emotions tops. for us we can be happy just by being chill and sitting down at the computer.

    Girls on the other hand need those rollercoaster emotions to feel you and alive, if they are trapped in one or two emotions, they get frustrated, desperate, and anxious. That's why girls unconsciously seek drama through soap operas, novels and social interactions.

    About third, I guess growing can be tough, because you have to put yourself at purpose in situations where you are going to become emotionally stronger by getting hurt.

    The easiest way to do this is dating a bunch of girls, girls know how to get you, they know how to be mean, and if you want to go to a place where you no longer think is mean but silly, you have to go through all that pain.

    • Thanks :)

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    • Nonsense.

    • hey calm down! this one, at the time seemed to me as the most logical answer. Since then I've had a few more, but I'm not going to take this down because it still makes sense.

What Guys Said 29

  • I feel strong emotions definitely. I just don't feel the desire to express them to other people.

    I don't really feel much pressure. But then I don't care what other people think! But I do like having a sense of purpose, and having rationality as my guide. Emotion is definitely secondary to logic and reason in my mind.

    I rarely feel the desire to cry. When I do, it's always when I've been thinking very deeply, which means when I'm alone; because of that I don't feel embarrassed. The fact that girls never approach and that I always have to make the first move is really tiring: I think that's one thing that guys have to do that girls don't really understand/appreciate: in terms of stress/annoyance, it's probably like the male equivalent of menstruation!

  • Guys do support each other emotionally, but in a very guy way. For example, simply saying "bummer dude" generally suffices for an expression of sadness for the other guys circumstance and most guys will take that as, for a guy, pretty caring (unless they said it in a way which clearly showed they meant it nastily.. a lot of guy caring emotional interaction involves reading between the lines).

    Guys can do connected emotional stuff, but generally they hold that back and reserved exclusively for their girlfriend (I can't comment for other sexual orientations).

    Guys have just as many lows and highs as girls, but part of being a guy is holding that back and carrying on (or maybe that's just an English guy xD).

    If a guy is seriously and deeply caring for a girl in a loving way, they will open up like a damn and sometime can scare the crap out of the girl who possibly liked them for the steady and unemotional person they appear to everyone. Though some guys have all the emotional depth of a paddling pool so its hard to tell until the end.

    Its easier being a guy. We just tell things generally as they are, there's no need to guess with a guy. They just say stuff... for better and for worse. However, some guys are just plain liers and its sometimes hard to tell wether a guy is really a complete jerk or just being overly honest at the wrong times.

    Its probably easier being a guy. Since subitly is rare so you don't need to mess around, at least until one or more girls is involved ;).

    • haha yeah hi five for stiff upper lip, as we British say.. ;)

  • LOL, your first paragraph: I always thought like this about girls?! They are always nice to each other and then supermean behind each others' back, and always jealous.

    We guys may look like we are mean to each other, but it's just play. We may pull pranks on each other, but only if we're real good friends, then it's acceptable and funny.

    That hormones talk is just BS, it's made up. Of course guys also have ups and downs, we also have feelings just like girls.

    And yes, guys are expected not to cry, so sometimes that can be difficult. Asking girls out is always hard, we're all afraid of rejection, both guys and girls. We all have feelings, we all get hurt when rejected, it's the same thing, we're all human.

    • Yeah what you said is true.. Girls can be SUPER horrible behind each others' backs, while guys tend not to. What I was saying is that there seems to be a lot of peer pressure for guys to do crazy things, while I haven't ever been subjected to that. :)

    • Guys like to fool around with their guy friends. It's a way of having fun. But my group of friends have boundaries though, we don't do real crazy, ridiculous (dangerous/illegal) stuff. Just some harmless fooling around. But you're right, some guys just go for it no matter what, it depends on the kind of guy and his values.

  • The joke is that we men may get into a physical fight, we'll punch each other a few times, then shake hands, and it's done. It's true, to a point.

    Now, keep in mind, all I can say is from my point of view.

    A) I tend not to hold long standing grudges unless someone repeatedly wrongs me or someone I love in some "big" way. I think that's pretty typical of guys.

    B) Yes, we can seem "mean" but it's usually "trash talk." We get that it's a joke in a certain context. I tease people. It's not really intended to be mean; it's more that it's just a funny line. I'm brotherly, so I make brotherly jokes. Most people understand it's a joke, and if I think I'm hurting someone with my jokes, then I back off. If I'm trading insults, and I have potential to go too far, then I usually let them "win."

    C) I see a lot of people, both boys and girls, who are pretty mean by my standards. I've had exes who have made some pretty "dishonorable" comments about others (that's partly why they're exes); I see a lot of girls doing some stuff my classiest guy friends would never do.

    D) There's usually some unspoken rules for decent guys. They're often unspoken, but pretty straightforward; and you don't violate them.

    I have a male friend who is like a big brother to me; and therefore, I kind of feel protective of his sisters (great women) as if I were their brother.

    One day, this old guy ("a friend") starts talking about my friend's sisters in a pretty lewd way. I was ticked off. I immediately stopped him, and warned him that if I ever caught him talking about them like that about my friend's sisters like that again, we'd have a HUGE problem.

    Many of us are protective in a good and healthy way. We'll stick up for friends who deserve it.

    E) We're competitive, but some more than others, and I know a lot of girls who get crazy when they get competitive.

    I know a few "good" girls who start screaming profanities that would make a soldier blush when playing, say, volleyball. I don't play either guys or girls when they take it too far.

    F) Many of my friends realize if they've gone too far, and will back off immediately. If not, my other guy friends or I will get on their case. It's rarely come to blows because we tend to "get it."

    If the guy realizes when he's wrong, apologizes, and backs off, then we're good.

    G) Sometimes it's OK to have that pressure, and it's not really a big deal. Sometimes, it's not so fun.

    I cried a little over Newtown. I would say you're a animal if you're an adult and you didn't feel something.

    I like being able to distance myself at times, to look at things somewhat logically. I like that a movie usually won't make me cry.

    I don't mind asking out; I know it's my role, and I've resigned to be OK with it; However, I don't like the cruelty I get.

    I'm not hung up on who asked who out. If a girl does it, I don't think it damages society. I think more women SHOULD feel free to ask out a guy.

  • We don't give emotional support in public. But we have an unwritten code... to man up and stand by your buddy. Many girls get jealous of each other even when they give each other compliments, sometimes it feels not really sincere.

    Yeah the high and lows for girls are a trouble.. not so much guys... we are more stable and we don't get periods.

    The pressure is sometimes big , but it is not overwhelming. I have cried at times , I am human. For the rest , I have no problems with except sometimes one get a bit nervous around a certain girl.

    I think the only thing that is giving men problems these days is that women of today are messing their heads with extreme feminism. But it usually turns and bite these women in the butt. Guys are not evil or women haters. They just don't like bitching around.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Being a boy is much better then being a girl, I have elder brother so I know what I'm saying.

    1. It's boys who chose girls, girl can't make first step , it's boy who has to approach them first. do first step, - girls can only smile to him and hope that he will do anything with it . And even if girl does this first step , boys often don't like it because he is "hunter"

    2. Boys don't have periods, don't give births, they don't get fat so easily,

    3. on girls is more pressiure " to be polite, don't be slut , have good grades at school. don't do crazy stuff" and when boy do it it's OK because he's "boy"

    • Okay Ms.Misandry.

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    • I second what lv4lv said.

    • Seriously why do women always bring up periods and child birth? No one picks their sex before or after their born. Yes periods are a monthly thing but guess what, guys get kidney stones more then girls.The equivalent of child birth and if a women doesn't want to give birth keep your legs closed or use a condom. And there is no why men have it harder whoever told you that needs to be taking out back and have some sense beat into them.