Why do I want an arsehole instead if someone sweet?

I have a lovely sweet guy after me who I know won't hurt me but I somehow still want the twat who hurt me,what's up with that.I'm sure it's not just me who does this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol, guys go crazy about this on this site. They all claim to be "nice guys" too, who "finish last."

    So the guy is nice. Great! But he doesn't excite you/doesn't make you laugh/is insecure and clingy/is unattractive to you/has no job or motivation/is otherwise incompatible with you/etc (or a combination of these). So you reject him, and he thinks "oh, it's because I'm a nice guy." Lol.

    It's not your fault he doesn't have the qualities you look for in a guy. I just rejected a nice guy last night because he's missing important qualities I want (smart, fun, Christian). I recommend you set standards for yourself and stick to them. I don't recommend you go for the jerk-face who might hurt you haha. Try looking for a sweet guy who ALSO has the qualities you want. I promise they're out there!

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    • She never even mentioned if the sweet guy was missing all that other stuff...

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    • yeah cause attraction always makes sense huh? and you are also assuming all women are like you as well.

    • I don't know why you're rejecting this logic haha. Would you rather blame women for being "stupid" than accept that maybe it's not our fault?

      If the sweet boy had what she was looking for, then there would be no question if she'd be dating him now. It's simple really. He's missing at least one important quality that she wants in a boyfriend.

What Guys Said 14

  • I think people sometimes like the challenge of a person who has character flaws. The idea that you could potentially change someone for the better and make them this perfect mate is an enticing one.

    I dated a girl who had so many issues it was ridiculous (abusive father, alcoholic mother, controlling step father, a younger sibling who she saw die tragically, brothers on drugs, etc). Our relationship was OK but fraught it drama and turmoil. But I just to myself if I can rescue her from all this (emotionally and physically) it will be the greatest love of all.

    Well it wasn't. People often think they can change or help people, and to some extent you can, but you certainly shouldn't do it in a relationship at the expense of your own feelings and emotions.

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  • It's possible that the one who hurts you makes you feel rejected to some degree. We all hate to be rejected, therefore you gravitate toward him in order to overcome the feelings of rejection. This will only continue because you allow it and he has gotten away with it with you. SO, STOP! Go and try the better choice, experience what it is like to be treated as a lady "With Respect"

    If you try this and really don't recognize the value in having such a person to love you. Explain this to this better man so that he don't think he did anything wrong, then go back to the bad choice.

    "And They Lived Miserably Ever After"

    Use your better judgement for the better good of you and your loved ones.

    Take Care, 'cause I DO Care.

    Sincerely: John

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  • cuz we are awesome :D

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  • I don't think you can help whom you are attracted to. You seem to be attracted to his confidence and mystery and energy.. you are not alone.. 90% of girls in the world are attracted to this.

    Just be sure you are attracted to him and not attracted to an abusive relationship. Be ready to be played with or your heart broken.

    It is just a matter of maturity as well.

    All the best to you .

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  • Most girls feel that way.

    You will eventually grow old and tired of compromising mental bliss for physical lust. You will then gravitate to the sweet guy. The only thing sweet guys can do to fight this is wait until you girls get to be 45 years old and divorced with 2 kids is say "go -bleep- die alone."

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What Girls Said 3

  • Chemistry

    There's no explaining it

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  • I am in the same situation. I prefer my twat of an ex. We have been broken up over a year and I would still rather be with him than a nice sweet guy that likes me. I am more attracted to my ex physically and he still gives me the whole butterfly feeling in my stomach whenever I randomly hear from him.

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    • "...and I would still rather be with him than a nice sweet guy that likes me"

      Are you referring to a specific "nice sweet guy" or and nice, sweet guy in general?

    • A specific nice sweet guy who just doesn't give me that butterfly feeling. We went on some dates he's a nice guy and nice looking but I don't get the heart pounding butterflies in the stomach love struck feeling. I am aware how silly I might sound.

    • You are attracted to who you are attracted to . Nothing silly about that . What you can do is to give advice to guys on how to create these butterflies lol

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