Why do I want an arsehole instead if someone sweet?

I have a lovely sweet guy after me who I know won't hurt me but I somehow still want the twat who hurt me,what's up with that.I'm sure it's not just me who does this.

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Lol, guys go crazy about this on this site. They all claim to be "nice guys" too, who "finish last."

    So the guy is nice. Great! But he doesn't excite you/doesn't make you laugh/is insecure and clingy/is unattractive to you/has no job or motivation/is otherwise incompatible with you/etc (or a combination of these). So you reject him, and he thinks "oh, it's because I'm a nice guy." Lol.

    It's not your fault he doesn't have the qualities you look for in a guy. I just rejected a nice guy last night because he's missing important qualities I want (smart, fun, Christian). I recommend you set standards for yourself and stick to them. I don't recommend you go for the jerk-face who might hurt you haha. Try looking for a sweet guy who ALSO has the qualities you want. I promise they're out there!

    • I don't know why you're rejecting this logic haha. Would you rather blame women for being "stupid" than accept that maybe it's not our fault?

      If the sweet boy had what she was looking for, then there would be no question if she'd be dating him now. It's simple really. He's missing at least one important quality that she wants in a boyfriend.

    • yeah cause attraction always makes sense huh? and you are also assuming all women are like you as well.

    • Because it makes sense. She would be dating him now if he had those qualities.

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What Guys Said 14

  • cuz we are awesome :D

  • The lovely sweet guy bores you to death, the a**hole twat is confident and interesting. Dating a guy because he is nice and won't hurt you is like going to a movie because its in English and it has actors, it is not enough there has to be something more to interest you.

  • because your a woman

  • I don't think you can help whom you are attracted to. You seem to be attracted to his confidence and mystery and energy.. you are not alone.. 90% of girls in the world are attracted to this.

    Just be sure you are attracted to him and not attracted to an abusive relationship. Be ready to be played with or your heart broken.

    It is just a matter of maturity as well.

    All the best to you .

  • Girls love a**holes because you believe that once you sleep with them, they can change. I learned this the hard way after being the nice guy who girls would never get with. After hearing female friends complain about a**holes they were banging all the time, I got the hint. Become the a**hole she bangs!

    Seriously guys, the effort of being "nice" is wasted on women. They want a man who tries to f*** them and f*** with them. Push for sex early and often and if she says no, ignore her and be aloof. She'll come running back to you nine times out of ten. If she doesn't, it won't matter, because you're already becoming an a**hole for another girl.

    The key is to stop caring about what is good for girls and care about what is good for you as a man, and there's nothing better than to be the a**hole that actually is getting his d*** wet instead of the "nice guy" to had to listen to all her crap about what a**holes men are. Prove her right, become the a**hole!

  • Ahhhh girls. you can't help who you are attracted to, but still this is why the phrase 'nice guys finish last' was invented.

    go with your a**hole guy, have tons of hot sex with him, let him rough you up and then if you manage to get out of it without having his kid, finally realize how stupid you were and go after nice sweet guys you passed up during it...

  • Don't worry, it's just because you are stupid; it's not a big deal.

    • I actually agree with this guy.

    • Just because I want him doesn't mean I'm considering being with him.I know he will hurt which is why I'm not with him and why I dumped him in the first place.Perhaps you should know things before you jump to conclusions,maybe that's why you are the stupid one.

    • I used to know a girl my age. 35, jumping from one a**hole to another. She has a phd, and yet she doesn't seem to understand the obvious. Some people are just naturally stupid. She is, you are. Again, it's not a big deal. Just don't forget to breathe, right ? :)

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  • Most girls feel that way.

    You will eventually grow old and tired of compromising mental bliss for physical lust. You will then gravitate to the sweet guy. The only thing sweet guys can do to fight this is wait until you girls get to be 45 years old and divorced with 2 kids is say "go -bleep- die alone."

  • You're a masochist. You will suffer for it... and ironically that's what you want in the first place!

    • Just mark my words...

    • I don't want to be hurt,I'm just more drawn to him

  • It's possible that the one who hurts you makes you feel rejected to some degree. We all hate to be rejected, therefore you gravitate toward him in order to overcome the feelings of rejection. This will only continue because you allow it and he has gotten away with it with you. SO, STOP! Go and try the better choice, experience what it is like to be treated as a lady "With Respect"

    If you try this and really don't recognize the value in having such a person to love you. Explain this to this better man so that he don't think he did anything wrong, then go back to the bad choice.

    "And They Lived Miserably Ever After"

    Use your better judgement for the better good of you and your loved ones.

    Take Care, 'cause I DO Care.

    Sincerely: John

  • I lol'd

    This reminds me of the scene in star wars, A New Hope...when obi wan and luke were taking the droids through the spaceport on tatoonie and they were stopped by storm troopers. Obi wan used a jedi mind trick to get the storm troopers off their back. Obi wan tells luke that jedi mind tricks only work on the weak minded. Today, the media are the jedi playing mind tricks...but thankfully it doesn't work on all women.

    • Never thought anyone could make an analogy of Star Wars to this :P

  • I think people sometimes like the challenge of a person who has character flaws. The idea that you could potentially change someone for the better and make them this perfect mate is an enticing one.

    I dated a girl who had so many issues it was ridiculous (abusive father, alcoholic mother, controlling step father, a younger sibling who she saw die tragically, brothers on drugs, etc). Our relationship was OK but fraught it drama and turmoil. But I just to myself if I can rescue her from all this (emotionally and physically) it will be the greatest love of all.

    Well it wasn't. People often think they can change or help people, and to some extent you can, but you certainly shouldn't do it in a relationship at the expense of your own feelings and emotions.

  • You're young and naive. Once you get older, you'll start to recognize the better things in life

    • Like I said...

    • I'm only 3 years younger than you?

  • Question #1: Personality aside, are you phyisically attracted to the "lovely sweet guy"?

    • *he

    • "But I admit sometimes be tries a bit too hard"

      How so?

    • and all that effort of the nice guy is wasted...

    • Show Older

What Girls Said 2

  • Chemistry

    There's no explaining it

    • Not when it comes to love

    • There's always an explanation.

  • I am in the same situation. I prefer my twat of an ex. We have been broken up over a year and I would still rather be with him than a nice sweet guy that likes me. I am more attracted to my ex physically and he still gives me the whole butterfly feeling in my stomach whenever I randomly hear from him.

    • You are attracted to who you are attracted to . Nothing silly about that . What you can do is to give advice to guys on how to create these butterflies lol

    • A specific nice sweet guy who just doesn't give me that butterfly feeling. We went on some dates he's a nice guy and nice looking but I don't get the heart pounding butterflies in the stomach love struck feeling. I am aware how silly I might sound.

    • "...and I would still rather be with him than a nice sweet guy that likes me"

      Are you referring to a specific "nice sweet guy" or and nice, sweet guy in general?

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