Ladies: Why am I having so much trouble meeting girls at college?

I'm 24 and I just returned to college. I'm puzzled as to why the girls I've met so far in college, have no interest in me...eventhough I'm confident, attractive, and enjoy holding conversations. It just seems like when push comes to shove, most of the girls see me as irrelevant or not a priority because I'm not in a fraternity. What's the deal ladies? If a guy wants to get to know you and he's not in a frat, what's the big deal? Is your time really that valuable that you will only allow yourself to get to know Greeks?

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • Go join a club or something that interests you..and avoid parties. Try and hang out in a variety of situations for a variety of different people..There are a LOT if really shallow girls at colleges, but there are also many gems with fascinating and lovely souls. Also, don't try very hard to impress people..in my mind at least, that comes off badly. Maybe not so for others, but I personally hate it when people try to impress me d:

What Girls Said 16

  • That's not true unless you're only going after sorority girls or aspiring sorority girls. I and most *sane* girls in college don't like frat boys.Maybe it's because you're 24 and in undergrad. Most undergrad students are 18-21 so you're a few years older than the vast majority of them. But that probably doesn't matter to most girls, but some are more likely to trust guys around their own age.

    • It doesn't make sense to trust immature guys and not trust a mature guy. maybe that's just someone being naive.

    • Well, a girl pretty much knows that an older guy will only really go after her for her appearance. A guy her age will probably have more in common with her.

  • idk what school you go to but that's not what its like at my school. everyone knows frat boys are generally douche bags, you might have a one night stand with a really hot frat boy, but definitely not a boyfriend material. not the types of guys you waste your time on. the only girls really into frat boys are sorority girls.

  • You sound intelligent. Maybe you seem serious and inapproachable. You're also 24, and some girls in college are 17-18 and are into partying and sorority stuff. Maybe they want to see a guy who parties. I guess you can be more social and go to some parties, but don't become a frat guy if you don't want to or get drunk all the time. Maybe focus on the 22 year old ones. When they see a guy who has a plan in life, they would like that.

  • Find a better girl. There's a lot of girls that honk being in a frat is a turn off

  • Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. I always met people by joining groups and clubs. It gets you invited to parties and then your circle expands. The more people you meet, the more you get yourself out there!Good Luck!

  • Get a better hair cut and hang with some cool guys and may b you should dress better ( shrug)

    • Haha, I do all of that. I hang with people who have the same interests as me. I don't drink., either.

    • Idk then have you actually tried hitin on a girl /guy

  • Even if you WERE in a fraternity, and you DID get hitched, it would just lead to a Donald Trump, Frank Sinatra type of life. I took and retook a personality test, first as my mom and then as my dad, to which I found out BOTH my parents, who are STILL together, according to their personalities, would have normally been classified as gays! It figures, even though they are conservative, red, voters, my dad ALWAYS talks endlessly to the wives of the conservative "normal" couples they know. While my mom, along with myself, we are classified as the "men of the house" as we are the only ones in a nest of 6 who know how to change a tire, set-up and install stuff on the computer, or fix a machine. Miraculously, unlike his always-drinking brother-in-law who would frequently flirt with my mom, sneaking-up on her and going "honk honk" pinching her boob, the conservative ladies have no problem with my dad. According to Betty White on TVLand, if you mistakenly spill something like coffee on your shirt, and she offers to clean it for you, you're in. Try chillin' in the student lounge or school cafeteria doing a crossword puzzle. Careful though! You don't want to sell them that your favorite hobby is something that it's not! Does your mom do puzzles? Do a competition against her and mention that when you're asked! This is how to get along with the down-to-earth, Reality-based female. If you are all about video games & comics, and you want a girl who also likes THAT, bring a notebook full of blank sheets (no lines, unless you wanna come across as poor and/or unfocused) or a laptop/tablet complete with a stylus & board, and be drawing-up your dream video game/comic either in the library or in the lounge room of a particular campus building. If you've got friends who are also interested in the subject, get them to join up; anyone can get a sack of 500 sheets, plus a triple-hole-punch and a 3-ring binder. And then when a girl walks by, stops, and says with a smile "hey, wha'cha doin'"? You respond "oh we're just enjoying drawing-up (blank). Mine is about (blank) and (blank) doing (blank),(blank), and (blank)." Once you gotta stop say something like "I don't know if I could get it published though." The last thing you want is to be "taken" by someone you don't want and your Facebook profile standing in your way of meeting somebody else.

  • Most girls are just all about the campus buzz. It's like high school all over. They wanna deal with the frat boys so they can go gossip about who did what with who. I'd still imagine if you keep trying you'll come across a girl who will give you a chance.

    • good point. I just feel like sometimes, there's something wrong with me. I've worked so hard to be the person I am, and for girls not to be interested...it just seems backwards. I'll see the same girl I got screwed over by, with a dude that looks like he never took a shower and has no standards. It confuses me.

    • Just keep trying!Good things come to those who wait.

  • I'd say just keep trying. I'm in a sorority and most of the guys I have talked to a GDIs. There are quite a few people who like to date only in the greek system. Being a geed is sometimes more refreshing than being in a frat, trust me.

  • Some girls are just stupid, obviously they aren't worth your time and you shouldn't worry about it, it's their loss not yours.

  • Are you sure it is because you're not in a frat? Maybe it's your age

    • LOL I look like I'm 19. So what if I'm 24...I guess the maturity scares them off.

  • dude I have no clue... maybe you wear really freaky thick glasses and you're not mentioning that part... how should random strangers on the internet know?... First you need to focus on making real friends and make connections , and they will help you meet girls and give you some honest pointers because they will know you better than we do... Just practice on girls who may not be your future wife but just get to know them and in the mean time you will learn about yourself and build confidence being around the opposite sex. Focus on building your personality and social skills, and then just try picking girls if you fail try again and agian. Go to parties and meet women outside of school and don't be too concerned with finding love, just have fun, love will comes around when it wants too... you are still young you have plenty of time to find the one!

    • I hate parties, and I can't drink lol I'm not trying to find the one, I'd like a steady girlfriend. I'm not one to jump around, it causes more problems.

  • Maybe the frat guys are the hottest.If that's the kind of guy a girl wants then that's who she'll give the time of day to.no amount of questioning will change that.maybe you should change the type of girls you go after

  • Maybe you're directing your attention to the wrong girls. Look for a simple girl who is not in the limelight all the time. If the girls you talk to are popular, you will be looking forever.

  • In my experience, I've never met anyone at a bar that I've ended up dating. My current boyfriend actually pulled me over (he's a cop) and ended up giving me his card rather than a citation. Seriously, spur of the moment kinda deal. We've been seeing each other for a few months now. Who cares about the greek system? Are you determined to date a girl in a sorority?

    • No I don't want to date a girl in a sorority. The girls I've been talking to are not in sororities, but whenever I ask them to go to a event with me, they always say they have plans...and end up chilling at fraternities. I don't go to bars because I don't drink.

  • There are lots of college students who are not in frats or sororities so this is a bum excuse dude.

    • The only bum excuse I know of is when girls act like their time is too valuable for people.

What Guys Said 2

  • well frat guys offer a social life you can't offer. but it's not frat guys they're interestedin. they're interested in top tier frat guys. but that doesn't mean you have to be in a top tier frat. it means that to her you have to seem as socially relevant as the top tier frat guys. when she's with you she wants to feel like other girls are jealous. you need to dress well, be good looking, have lots of popular friends, etc

  • you are probably too old and mature for most of them. greek girls that are into it are kinda shallow and are only 'allowed' to date greek guys. try to go for girls that are 22 or older so they have had a year to do the drinking thing and hopefully are a little more mature.

    • The girls that are rude to me are not in sororities. They are unaffiliated.

    • how old are they and is there a chance they see you as too old for them

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