Ladies: Why am I having so much trouble meeting girls at college?

I'm 24 and I just returned to college. I'm puzzled as to why the girls I've met so far in college, have no interest in me...eventhough I'm confident, attractive, and enjoy holding conversations. It just seems like when push comes to shove, most of the girls see me as irrelevant or not a priority because I'm not in a fraternity. What's the deal ladies? If a guy wants to get to know you and he's not in a frat, what's the big deal? Is your time really that valuable that you will only allow yourself to get to know Greeks?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Go join a club or something that interests you..and avoid parties. Try and hang out in a variety of situations for a variety of different people..There are a LOT if really shallow girls at colleges, but there are also many gems with fascinating and lovely souls. Also, don't try very hard to impress my mind at least, that comes off badly. Maybe not so for others, but I personally hate it when people try to impress me d:


What Girls Said 17

  • Maybe you're looking in the wrong places. I always met people by joining groups and clubs. It gets you invited to parties and then your circle expands. The more people you meet, the more you get yourself out there!

    Good Luck!

  • That's not true unless you're only going after sorority girls or aspiring sorority girls. I and most *sane* girls in college don't like frat boys.

    Maybe it's because you're 24 and in undergrad. Most undergrad students are 18-21 so you're a few years older than the vast majority of them. But that probably doesn't matter to most girls, but some are more likely to trust guys around their own age.

    • It doesn't make sense to trust immature guys and not trust a mature guy. maybe that's just someone being naive.

    • Well, a girl pretty much knows that an older guy will only really go after her for her appearance. A guy her age will probably have more in common with her.

  • Most girls are just all about the campus buzz. It's like high school all over. They wanna deal with the frat boys so they can go gossip about who did what with who.

    I'd still imagine if you keep trying you'll come across a girl who will give you a chance.

    • good point. I just feel like sometimes, there's something wrong with me. I've worked so hard to be the person I am, and for girls not to be just seems backwards. I'll see the same girl I got screwed over by, with a dude that looks like he never took a shower and has no standards. It confuses me.

    • Just keep trying!

      Good things come to those who wait.

  • Even if you WERE in a fraternity, and you DID get hitched, it would just lead to a Donald Trump, Frank Sinatra type of life. I took and retook a personality test, first as my mom and then as my dad, to which I found out BOTH my parents, who are STILL together, according to their personalities, would have normally been classified as gays! It figures, even though they are conservative, red, voters, my dad ALWAYS talks endlessly to the wives of the conservative "normal" couples they know. While my mom, along with myself, we are classified as the "men of the house" as we are the only ones in a nest of 6 who know how to change a tire, set-up and install stuff on the computer, or fix a machine. Miraculously, unlike his always-drinking brother-in-law who would frequently flirt with my mom, sneaking-up on her and going "honk honk" pinching her boob, the conservative ladies have no problem with my dad. According to Betty White on TVLand, if you mistakenly spill something like coffee on your shirt, and she offers to clean it for you, you're in. Try chillin' in the student lounge or school cafeteria doing a crossword puzzle. Careful though! You don't want to sell them that your favorite hobby is something that it's not! Does your mom do puzzles? Do a competition against her and mention that when you're asked! This is how to get along with the down-to-earth, Reality-based female. If you are all about video games & comics, and you want a girl who also likes THAT, bring a notebook full of blank sheets (no lines, unless you wanna come across as poor and/or unfocused) or a laptop/tablet complete with a stylus & board, and be drawing-up your dream video game/comic either in the library or in the lounge room of a particular campus building. If you've got friends who are also interested in the subject, get them to join up; anyone can get a sack of 500 sheets, plus a triple-hole-punch and a 3-ring binder. And then when a girl walks by, stops, and says with a smile "hey, wha'cha doin'"? You respond "oh we're just enjoying drawing-up (blank). Mine is about (blank) and (blank) doing (blank),(blank), and (blank)." Once you gotta stop say something like "I don't know if I could get it published though." The last thing you want is to be "taken" by someone you don't want and your Facebook profile standing in your way of meeting somebody else.

  • You sound intelligent. Maybe you seem serious and inapproachable. You're also 24, and some girls in college are 17-18 and are into partying and sorority stuff. Maybe they want to see a guy who parties. I guess you can be more social and go to some parties, but don't become a frat guy if you don't want to or get drunk all the time. Maybe focus on the 22 year old ones. When they see a guy who has a plan in life, they would like that.

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What Guys Said 2

  • well frat guys offer a social life you can't offer. but it's not frat guys they're interestedin. they're interested in top tier frat guys. but that doesn't mean you have to be in a top tier frat. it means that to her you have to seem as socially relevant as the top tier frat guys. when she's with you she wants to feel like other girls are jealous. you need to dress well, be good looking, have lots of popular friends, etc

  • you are probably too old and mature for most of them. greek girls that are into it are kinda shallow and are only 'allowed' to date greek guys. try to go for girls that are 22 or older so they have had a year to do the drinking thing and hopefully are a little more mature.

    • The girls that are rude to me are not in sororities. They are unaffiliated.

    • how old are they and is there a chance they see you as too old for them