Sick and tired of not being a certain "type"

Are you sick and tired to learn someone finds you "cute/hot but not my type?" I hate that. What does that even mean? If someone's physically and personality-wise attractive, then what's the problem? I hate the whole "type" excuse. I've lose quite a few girls because I'm apparently not their type...am I the only one so hurt by this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No. You have every right to be hurt. But don't dwell on it because the girls who have told you that aren't a really credible source of information on you... at all.

    Relationships aren't about types. Any time a girl approaches you to see what she can get out of you... she's not the one you want. And if you approach girls that way, you'll be disappointed. Because first, no one's perfect and everyone makes mistakes, and secondly, because good relationships are built on people looking for not what they can get from you but what they can share with you and give to you.

    Don't get me wrong, the best girls out there will have standards, but they won't really be that physically-oriented. And from your profile picture, it seems like any girl worth your time won't reject you based on looks. Good standards would be more along the lines of what kind of character you have, how mature you are, and how ready you are to have a good relationship. If you're not a girl's type there, I think we'd both agree that you're incompatible with each other. But I doubt the girls you've dated have had anything so mature in mind.

    Don't stress over girls who aren't ready to respect you and value you for who you are and not for what they can get out of you. And continue to hold yourself to the same standard.

    Don't worry. There are worthwhile girls out there. I hope you find a lovely one. :)

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What Girls Said 14

  • Its, either they don't find you attractive but you are not ugly (i.e. Justin Beiber isn't my type.he's not ugly but I'm not attracted to him)

    You're not compatible

    Or they don't think you're cute

    Not every girl will feel that way tho

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  • If someone says you are not their type, they are just trying to let you down easy. They are saying they don't think you are ugly or dumb or anything, but you're just not doing it for them. It could be anything from personality to looks, but you should actually take it as kind of a compliment. Because a lot of girls who are not interested in a guy will say things to him that are a lot meaner, or just flat out ignore him.

    If girls are taking the trouble to say you're not their type, they're actually trying to show disinterest in a polite way, which means you have higher chances with girls than many other guys.

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  • Mmm.

    Well, you see, it's 'chemistry', at it's finest.

    Many people seem to write off that term like it's not meaningful, but the thing is...your peptides, hormones and neurotransmitters, reflected in your appearance, tastes, and personality, have to mix well with another person's.

    Beyond that, it's you're brains adaptations and pattern containing. You unconciously 'chart', in a very complex manner, features and triggers that your brain attaches/records the pattern results as being positive or negative.

    Sure, it's primitive, but it's very helpful in some manner. It's intended to protect us from bad people (friendship or relationship, it doesn't matter) relationships.

    This is why sometimes we must reflect on our preconceived notions and check validity.

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  • Awww. Well, imo it means that you may very well be attractive but you posses certain characteristics that are not appealing to them or they don't find you attractive. May not make sense but it happens.

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  • When I say "not my type," I mean that I just don't see us as compatible in a relationship, for at least one of many reasons. It doesn't even mean that they're not a great person. There are guys I've met that are wonderful people, wonderful friends, but the thought of us being romantically or sexually involved feels awkward to me. Maybe I don't think we're compatible enough to be a partnership or raise a family. Maybe I just don't feel that 'je any sais quoi' or chemistry, or whatever ineffable thing it is that drives us to want someone. Sometimes there are really attractive guys who like me and I know they're cute and smart and funny, but for some reason I just don't feel that way about them. As hard as it is to think otherwise, it really doesn't mean anything bad about you.

    And for the record, it's not being closed-minded if you just don't feel that way about someone.

    It's closed-minded if you have a very set specific type (ie. blond, 6'2", and can play guitar) and automatically disqualify any and everyone who doesn't fit those exact standards, even if you see potential there. But if you don't see any potential, if you don't see any chemistry, that matters. A lot.

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What Guys Said 13

  • iwe all have types, but we would all date/f*ck/love someone who is different or even totally opposite to our type, and at the same time, there'll be people thatt fit exactly in your type and you just won't like them, type is a face among the many we have, when they say "cute but not my type" is simply "I don't feel the magic with you", 'cause if they felt it you could be deformed and still get the girl, or a jerk and still get the girl, one wise man said "attraction isn't a choice" you don't consiently evaluate people and then decide you like them, either happens or not, and can happen with almost ANY type, you guessed, the type thing is just a excuse, cuter than "love you as a friend" but worse than "I have a boyfriend (lying)"

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  • Not my type means "You're attractive - but not to me.". This is usually the story of every nice guy's life.

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    • I'm not a nice guy but not a bad guy either. I was physically told that I'm not a certain type even though I'm cute? So wtf?

    • That is pretty "WTF?", lol. Maybe the person who told you that has gone 'round the bend?

  • ehh, forget "types", its all about chemistry between two people.

    what I've noticed is that girls may be initially attracted to a guy that is her "type" then start to become turned off when that "type" doesn't meet her requirements or she finds out that guy wasn't really her type at all.

    but then she might become slowly attracted to a guy that wasn't her type at all initially, then finds out he is really her "type" or finds other things in him that she finds attractive over time.

    for me, I don't want to be any girl's "type" at all. I want to be me. I want someone to be attracted to who I am. and if they are not? eff them. :)

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  • there is no such a thing as a type you are either attractive or not...naaamsaaain?

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  • It's usually used by people who are so stupid they will think they will do less harm by saying this, because all the person turned down can understand out of this is "you are not good enough for me", which, in the vast majority of cases, is completely false.

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