Sick and tired of not being a certain "type"

Are you sick and tired to learn someone finds you "cute/hot but not my type?" I hate that. What does that even mean? If someone's physically and personality-wise attractive, then what's the problem? I hate the whole "type" excuse. I've lose quite a few girls because I'm apparently not their I the only one so hurt by this?


Most Helpful Girl

  • No. You have every right to be hurt. But don't dwell on it because the girls who have told you that aren't a really credible source of information on you... at all.

    Relationships aren't about types. Any time a girl approaches you to see what she can get out of you... she's not the one you want. And if you approach girls that way, you'll be disappointed. Because first, no one's perfect and everyone makes mistakes, and secondly, because good relationships are built on people looking for not what they can get from you but what they can share with you and give to you.

    Don't get me wrong, the best girls out there will have standards, but they won't really be that physically-oriented. And from your profile picture, it seems like any girl worth your time won't reject you based on looks. Good standards would be more along the lines of what kind of character you have, how mature you are, and how ready you are to have a good relationship. If you're not a girl's type there, I think we'd both agree that you're incompatible with each other. But I doubt the girls you've dated have had anything so mature in mind.

    Don't stress over girls who aren't ready to respect you and value you for who you are and not for what they can get out of you. And continue to hold yourself to the same standard.

    Don't worry. There are worthwhile girls out there. I hope you find a lovely one. :)


What Girls Said 14

  • Its, either they don't find you attractive but you are not ugly (i.e. Justin Beiber isn't my type.he's not ugly but I'm not attracted to him)

    You're not compatible

    Or they don't think you're cute

    Not every girl will feel that way tho

  • If someone says you are not their type, they are just trying to let you down easy. They are saying they don't think you are ugly or dumb or anything, but you're just not doing it for them. It could be anything from personality to looks, but you should actually take it as kind of a compliment. Because a lot of girls who are not interested in a guy will say things to him that are a lot meaner, or just flat out ignore him.

    If girls are taking the trouble to say you're not their type, they're actually trying to show disinterest in a polite way, which means you have higher chances with girls than many other guys.

  • Mmm.

    Well, you see, it's 'chemistry', at it's finest.

    Many people seem to write off that term like it's not meaningful, but the thing is...your peptides, hormones and neurotransmitters, reflected in your appearance, tastes, and personality, have to mix well with another person's.

    Beyond that, it's you're brains adaptations and pattern containing. You unconciously 'chart', in a very complex manner, features and triggers that your brain attaches/records the pattern results as being positive or negative.

    Sure, it's primitive, but it's very helpful in some manner. It's intended to protect us from bad people (friendship or relationship, it doesn't matter) relationships.

    This is why sometimes we must reflect on our preconceived notions and check validity.

  • Awww. Well, imo it means that you may very well be attractive but you posses certain characteristics that are not appealing to them or they don't find you attractive. May not make sense but it happens.

  • When I say "not my type," I mean that I just don't see us as compatible in a relationship, for at least one of many reasons. It doesn't even mean that they're not a great person. There are guys I've met that are wonderful people, wonderful friends, but the thought of us being romantically or sexually involved feels awkward to me. Maybe I don't think we're compatible enough to be a partnership or raise a family. Maybe I just don't feel that 'je any sais quoi' or chemistry, or whatever ineffable thing it is that drives us to want someone. Sometimes there are really attractive guys who like me and I know they're cute and smart and funny, but for some reason I just don't feel that way about them. As hard as it is to think otherwise, it really doesn't mean anything bad about you.

    And for the record, it's not being closed-minded if you just don't feel that way about someone.

    It's closed-minded if you have a very set specific type (ie. blond, 6'2", and can play guitar) and automatically disqualify any and everyone who doesn't fit those exact standards, even if you see potential there. But if you don't see any potential, if you don't see any chemistry, that matters. A lot.

  • When someone says: "You're not my type." For me, that means that I really enjoy you, being with you, talking with you, but there's not that chemistry between us.

  • Yeah that sh*ts annoying. Attractive is attractive. I don't understand why you have to be someones "type" to be considered datable. You miss out on a lot of great people like that. But what can I say, some people just aren't open minded.

  • I've used that before.

    And it's really to say You're not who I'm looking for or consider datable because you don't fit the guy I would like/am interested in.

    Don't we all have a list of what qualities we would like to see in our partners? I know I do.

    Those girls either don't think you are cute/hot but are just saying it to not hurt your feelings or they just don't feel interested in you.

    Maybe that does make me a bit close minded. But when it comes to dating, I don't just go for any guy. I would want a guy that is my type - someone I'm interested in going by the qualities they possess

  • ummmm, so can you honestly say you don't have a type you prefer? Yea didn't think so... just except she doesn't like you and move on, it wasn't meant to be..

  • I may think someone's personality is "cute" or "attractive", but just not "sexually attractive" or not something that, personally, would make me like them as in "like-like" ...

    At least, that's something that has happened with me.

    Or finding someone who has a cute smile, but it is not "sexy", is just "adorable".. And attraction is not really something that relies on adorable...

  • Because your probabbly lacking something maybe the whole masculine 'bad lad' sort of traite. But I can inderstand what are saying as well

  • I have a type, so when I mean this it simple means he isn't my type.

  • Just find someone who appreciates your "type". Easy solution.

    My problem is much worse, because I don't get any feedback whatsoever.


What Guys Said 13

  • iwe all have types, but we would all date/f*ck/love someone who is different or even totally opposite to our type, and at the same time, there'll be people thatt fit exactly in your type and you just won't like them, type is a face among the many we have, when they say "cute but not my type" is simply "I don't feel the magic with you", 'cause if they felt it you could be deformed and still get the girl, or a jerk and still get the girl, one wise man said "attraction isn't a choice" you don't consiently evaluate people and then decide you like them, either happens or not, and can happen with almost ANY type, you guessed, the type thing is just a excuse, cuter than "love you as a friend" but worse than "I have a boyfriend (lying)"

  • Not my type means "You're attractive - but not to me.". This is usually the story of every nice guy's life.

    • I'm not a nice guy but not a bad guy either. I was physically told that I'm not a certain type even though I'm cute? So wtf?

    • That is pretty "WTF?", lol. Maybe the person who told you that has gone 'round the bend?

  • ehh, forget "types", its all about chemistry between two people.

    what I've noticed is that girls may be initially attracted to a guy that is her "type" then start to become turned off when that "type" doesn't meet her requirements or she finds out that guy wasn't really her type at all.

    but then she might become slowly attracted to a guy that wasn't her type at all initially, then finds out he is really her "type" or finds other things in him that she finds attractive over time.

    for me, I don't want to be any girl's "type" at all. I want to be me. I want someone to be attracted to who I am. and if they are not? eff them. :)

  • there is no such a thing as a type you are either attractive or not...naaamsaaain?

  • It's usually used by people who are so stupid they will think they will do less harm by saying this, because all the person turned down can understand out of this is "you are not good enough for me", which, in the vast majority of cases, is completely false.

  • pretty much unfortuneately

  • all the time but since we are guys, we are never entitled or owed anything

  • you aren't fun enough. you can change it.

    get good at being fun, and you can be the one dishing out the rejections;)

  • Tell me about it. I've only been called cute twice which was a bunch of bull crap. Of course that was online so they were probably only being nice. In person women ignore me, and even when they don't I get nowhere. Some times I wish I was a woman. They have it so easy, guys can careless about types as long as he gets ass.

  • I'm hurt by girls finding me attractive, liking my personality, values, but won't date me because the color of my skin. They don't want the harassment from their friends/families, which I can't really blame them for.

    • I disagree. That is a terrible reason not to date someone. Love is love, regardless of color. Our blood all flows red, doesn't it?

    • I agree with you, but unfortunately how you're regarded amongst your peers is important in society to a lot of people. Even more than their own desires, at times.

  • saying you're cute but you're not my type is a nice way of saying "sorry, but I'm not attracted to you either because of your looks, your personality or both. but I'll tell you you're cute to soften the blow and make it not feel so bad."

  • I've heard that before. I don't even know what “type” I am lol.

  • No. I never had that problem