Have you ever had your heartbroken and how did you deal with it?

Have you ever had your heartbroken and how did you deal with it?

Rebound? Ignore it? Alcohol? Drugs?

How is were you?

Its been 5 months for me. We're still friends on FB and he's a nice guy. I need to stop checking his profile though because that's not helping my case at all.

I hope that in the future, we could be friends.

Do you think it's possible?

I'm a nice girl, and he's a nice guy. I heard from acquaintances that he got a rebound, went out lots, got drunk often, etc after our relationship ended.

I'm 27.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, went in a full on depression: lost 8 kg (1 stone and 3 lbs), couldn't sleep anymore, started rethinking what I had done and what I could do. As sad as this may sound I even had very very brief suicidal thoughts about which I am definitely not proud of or happy about, but managed it rather easily. (I developed a positive thinking system to pull myself out of those situation).

    I slowly picked myself back up, by focusing on muscle preserving foods, in order to use to my advantage my lack of hunger.

    When I started feeling a little better, restarted working out, trying to be social although it was hard.

    I avoided drugs, alcohol. Because that could really push you to do stupid things.

    As of right now, I am considering the rebound option.

    Result, I today am getting much closer to the 6 pack goal I have lost hope for. I still feel sad when I am alone because it gives me time to think about what I had lost, but it is bearable. I had my heart broken twice, The first time it happened, my personality got much stronger and made me who I am now, the second (latest) was tougher to handle (4 amazing years and a stupid reason), but if you just give time some time, it will take care of it. promise.

    Try to ignore it if you can, or keep busy, alcohol is still OK but only when you are with friends and in a happy mood, not when you are sad and desperate because it reinforces your current emotional state.

    If necessary you can go get some rebound but try to enjoy it too, don't do it as a job lol.

    I hope it helps.

    Note: There will be someone else even if it is not the right one, when you will meet you will start feeling better. I last week met a nice girl and we just hit it off and kissed, for the moment I was with her I didn't think a second about my ex. So keep positive, and look out for your next conquest ^^.

    • Very good answer.

    • Thank you, it is just the story of my life. Maybe I will write a song about it and become as successful as Adele lol.

What Guys Said 30

  • Breakups are a bitch.

    I've used all of the above.

    I've taken so much time off after the last one that it has become normal to be alone. I think that's better than rebounding into another dysfunctional relationship.

    • I've got the answer to checking out their Facebook too much.

      Get really wasted and post ten or twenty random links on their page. Really odd things. Vaguely derogatory - like tampon ads, or excessive sweating prescriptions...

      They'll block you if it disturbs them enough. Problem solved.

  • Unfortunately yes, and after more than a year I'm still not over it. At certain periods I'm better and can try go for a rebound, which never was successful and only temporary. And at other periods I'm just depressed and some days even crying. I can ignore it for a while, but some time later it always comes back again and I go through all of it again. So it goes like in cycles.

    When I'm down I just don't feel like doing anything, I don't go out, don't have fun, don't watch fun things on television, nothing much really. Everything suffers, work, school, private life. Rebounds won't work then because I don't feel like meeting new girls as then I can't stand to be around a girl. I usually drink on parties, sometimes at home when watching a game, but when I'm feeling down I can't drink alcohol at all. And drugs I don't do, and I also don't feel like trying it either.

    Right now I think the best thing that could happen is to meet a new girl, and fall in love with her. But until know, it seems as if all the girls I would be (potentially) interested in me aren't interested in me at all. So much for that cure...

    • @update: it depends on what exactly happened. If she deliberately hurt me then no. If it's just because we didn't work out, then yes.

  • rebounds are generally good but as long as you let the other party know that you might? be on the rebound, this way any expectations are left to a minimum,x

  • You have two option:

    1) Erase everything you see about him, put him on the past and try to not think about it. You'll be fine after a while.

    2) Speak to him and try to see if you can still have something with him besides friendship. I guess you would since he's now a drinker right after that happened.

  • Have you ever had your heartbroken?

    1) Just once, and I hope it will be the final one.

    How did you deal with it?

    2) I went miserable for a month... Always after her, (Kissing her feet would be a nice sentence to describe it xD) trying to be sure that she didn't really love me anymore, since at the start I thought that it was just a test and everything would be okay (I guess that's called "denial state?")...

    Then, I started to speak to her friends, and every single one of then were saying that I shouldn't quit, until one actually said I should (I ignored it, but it was a mistake). After the third week it was everything going on so fast that I was so confused about everything, until I met this girl... Spoken to her about my problems, always texting her in the morning to say hello and we kept on texting until one of us went to sleep, every single day and then I've been given free phone calls and we basically spent half the night talking and half the night sleeping *.*

    One month was gone and I went to the beach with her (for the second time, but this one was just the two of us - By "friend excuses" accident) and it was just magical... We didn't kiss but I knew that was something going on with both of us.

    At that same night I had a fight with my ex and I've said "Goodbye" to her (There is a word on my language which means a goodbye forever. Don't know if that works with English) and I've just quit on her. But I was still confused and my heart seems to pump everything but blood when I thought about these two ladys.

    After a couple of day this girl went on vacations, for a week. It was the perfect time for me to relax and think about what the hell was I feeling about. I figured out that I was just still confused xD

    at the 6th week of this hole thing, I went for the second time to the beach with this girl again and at about 10:30am of 31-07-2012 we just has our first kiss and everything seems so clear from then. ^^

    We are still together, and I'm happy since that day :)

  • Yes. Here's my story, at least part of it... link

  • If I have my heartbroken, I just go look at P.orn.

  • I have had my heart broken once before. It destroyed my fighting spirit and caused me sleepless nights. What had helped me pass through the break-up consequential phase was understanding that the other which ended would not really need me in their life and now have voided me. In doing so, this caused them to be a worthless person in my single life. The memories, experience and joys that once had happened is no longer needed and shall not continue.

    Do not rebound, you should ignore it and no depressants. You need to push through the sad feelings and find a new life for yourself. Never put yourself down and never ask "What if" questions for these things make it worst. You were originally you before you had a person in your life and you could reach that once again. Find a new hobby, read, make a blog, write a journal and express yourself. Just because the relationship has ended does not mean you should end.

    Good Luck

    -Nicholas Halden

  • I am 27 years old, never had a GF. Many of my friends are settling down, have kids and own a home. I never even touched a nipple. Moving on and never quitting is my way till the day I will find love, if that day ever comes.

  • I quit my job, packed up my sh*t, and moved to the Rockies for the winter to learn how to ski.

    It worked out pretty well - turns out I *love* skiing, and I've spent a couple more winters working in ski resorts since then - something I never would have done if we'd stayed together.

  • Tired to ignore it. Didn't work. Tried letting it out. Didn't change a thing. Tried hate & anger. Didn't work. Tried rebounding. Just a temporary fix.

    Didn't try alcohol or drugs. I don't do that when I'm in a downer state it puts me in a pretty dismal state ^^.

    Bottom line is: It f***ing blows. Feels awful.

    It's not like it actually detracted from my daily life at all, it just burns that's all. Not too much of a big deal, it heals with time, family, friends, lots of activity and love :)

  • i would say just have a good pity party for yourself for a little while, get the feelings out of the way and out of your system so you don't dwell on it too much. the more you hold it in the more its going to eat at you and the harder it is to get over it.

    just be single for a while. spend time with other single friends. maybe meet a guy for a non serious relationship.

  • I don't think I've had my heart broken so to speak, but I have endured some down times, the best medicine is friends, hanging out makes you not think about the bad stuff. Also, self improvement helps with depression and self esteem.

  • Badly I'm afraid, a couple of years ago.

    I shut out the world and just concentrated on surviving. Divorce is done now and coming out of the dark now. It takes time and its sh*t. You just have o accept that. Th only thing that makes you feel better is acceptance.

  • hm, well I've dropped over 50 pds, got a new better paying job, and yet I continue to be awesome

    • my ex cheated on me and has tried to get back with me, but I gave her the cold shoulder every time. were still friends over fb but it'd be awkward to have her around me because I know she still has feelings for me and wants to jump my bones and such

  • I've cried yes. I just try to hang out with my buddies more and go have fun.

  • Lie on the couch, put on my sunglasses and deal with it. link

  • everyone is different on how they deal with it, I was fully emotional and all but I always hung out with friends and family just because I didn't wanna be alone. I watched a lot of TV shows, movies and played a lot of video games to pass the time the only part I hated was when I had to go to sleep that's when it got to me

  • Its best to just put a lot of hate towards him/her

    Iv been through it a couple of times :(

    Cry it off, crying is good for the soul, and its a good relief, like deleting cookies on your computer, smile even if you don't want to, maybe a laugh, big big laughs! Always smile, don't let that nob see you upset, don't be wreckless by sleeping with someone or taking drugs, beer on the other hand.. If you can affordit go have a laugh with it :) just stay happy! And let him know

    Time heals emotions eventually.. Good luck x

  • After a night of heavier drinking, passing out and thinking things over after I'd sobered up, I realized she wasn't right, and was over it. Nowadays, I swear I have much less of a heart and it has gotten to the point to where it just doesn't phase me so much anymore.

  • Yeahh one time , but just let time deal with it not you .

  • Read POWER OF NOW by Tolle... would help you...

  • Have you ever had your heartbroken and how did you deal with it?

    I was a mess, Almost cried...Almost while the flashback of the relationship poped out in my brain and a calculated all the money that I wasted on her cheap ass. Then 2-3 month later while having the same flashbacks of the relationship I didn't feel that miserable anymore even started to feel cheerful that I didn't have her around anymore. I started masturbating to her BJs and also her warm lady parts. 2 months after that I paid an Whore, Sexed the rest of my bad memories away. Then I realized how good It was that I dated her. Because she had so much experience that only analizing that the emotional manipulations she was able to pull. I started to understand how unkind and cute women can really be sometimes. The whore was kinder, than the ex lol.

    After that I picked myself up and became a player. I realized That the ex had killed the NICE GUY in me never got the chance to thank her for that priceless gift.

  • Yes I drank, I took long walks,i road my bike, however in the end none of it helped but time is the only solution it could take a week,months and even years but you just have to move on and hope for the best but I'm still on the road to redemption over it though.

  • Yes, but no-one would ever know it. I've learned there is no good way to deal except time itself.

  • yes my ex boyfriend broke my heart. but I got the last laugh because I gave him aids.

  • Like most idiots. I was drunk for weeks and lost 17 pounds.

  • Senior year of high school I fell really hard for this girl. We went out all the time and we slept together a lot. I had been with other girls but she was the first I ever loved. Then she told me she had a boyfriend...I got over it by working out, talking to my brother about it, and yes crying a little. I've moved on and now I'm going for a beautiful blond at my college.

  • I couldn't find someone else to help me get over my ex, so unfortunately I turned to drugs. I smoked weed all day, everyday, nothing else helped, not exercise, not reading, not eating, nothing.


What Girls Said 8

  • I did all four because I thought that was the only options that humans commonly choose to do, I learned that none of them worked. How I successfully got over a heartbreak was distractions yet also accepting my own pain without dismissing that I was hurt. Distractions helped me get over whenever I was in the presence of others and not reject what was in front of me. I would have a long list, even though I didn't feel like doing any of them, I kept switching to the next hobby/task/social activity until I was comfortable or so stressed that I don't even remember being heartbroken. The list would always be restarted over the next day since the activity may not work the next day or even the next five minutes.

    When I was alone I would allow myself to fully love this person because I had a right to, and maybe do some romantic actions without letting my ex know to give credit to myself. It wasn't being broken that hurt but not being able to love them anymore, and eventually this unconditional love and kindness gets boring or fulfilled that I move on. If I still hold on it's because I needed to confront to them any issues I caused or wanted to ask questions even if I do not get an answer. I'm the type that grabs hold of my fate even if I fail, so I have to always try something if the issue is important to me.

    • Checking on his FB isn't healthy only because you are not impartial to his news. It's best to hold off checking his page in order to gain maturity, become less provoked by news personally, and start the friendship fresh later. There are articles about how lurking makes it longer to heal and stunts your self growth. You'd be spending time focusing on him rather than noticing your own pain to grieve and learn how -you- can heal. Rarely you'd find closure from an ex if they know you can see it too.

  • I tried to ignore it but the feelings became so overwhelming that I just gave in. I thought grieving would help rather than suppressing my feelings, so I spent the best part of a month, crying almost every day, sometimes more than once over everything. I thought I'd never move on and I'd be this mess forever unless I got back with him so it didn't help when he was constantly enticing me to get back with him all the time.

    I did want to go to alcohol or something but it's never good to be dependent on alcohol so I didn't.

    I don't think my ex dealt with it well. He had a short rebound relationship and has been single since but he goes out a lot more drinking. He also kept giving me chances to take him back, months after the break up which indicates he's found it hard to move on. I met up with him when I went out with his mates and he looked out for me and got me home safely, so I think he still cares for me. It wasn't long ago that he was asking for friendship again actually!

  • a heart cannot be broken, but the image of either yourself or your "significant other" can be emotionally and mentally damaging to a point that it changes you for either the better or worst. Mentally it killed my motivation to pursue a happy-meaningful lifestyle and go one my everyday routine for I had lost something dearly: confidence. Emotionally I felt anger, embarrassment, shame, sadness, and then became resentful towards myself and my family. The best medicine for such is time, acceptance, and confidence. but even confidence takes time. I say you try to express yourself through writing, reading, taking pictures, through music and pursing any such hobbies or activities to keep your mind occupied.

  • I have been hurt but I usually tried to aim for something constructive to do with my time while I healed myself

    usually I am a strong person so it's rare that I'm broken but

    I take the time to realize what a huge loser I dated

    and that it's been a waste of my time.

    I'll go to my friend's place, hang out, exercise, and move on

    I date other people when I'm ready to

    at the moment I'm alright.

    just stay strong I guess

  • The first time I was broken up with, I was furious. He promised to me that he didn't like his ex for a long time, but he did.

    I dealt with it by dating his best friend. It was so convenient because he was into me, and it was a big slap in the face. And later, when he dumped the ex, he wanted me back. It was like a TV show or something.

    I was like 15-16 years old then, and that's just what we do. Stupid and immature things. Did that solve my anger toward him at all? Nope.

    Other then that, I haven't been broken up with. I either dumped with good reason (for example- threatening to kill me/himself or proposing to me after 3 months of dating) or a weirdly mutual split. I am not looking forward to being dumped by someone I really care about... It happens to everybody, and it feels inevitable.

  • smash their heart to pieces by getting back at em---rebound pictures

    lots of drugs and alcohol

    more rebounds

    probably cynical, revengeful, depressed.

  • It takes years and years to reconnect with an ex but it also depends on whether you still want to stay friends with that person or not after years of no contact. Things might change during that time.

  • The first time I partied with my friends a lot and it did involve lots of alcohol. No drinking alone though, always social.

    The second time I got myself a FWB. Best option for me, if it happens again I will get another FWB.