If a guy is not interested, will he still hang out with you one on one?

My guy friend claims he's not interested (minus the fact he acts interested, just take my word for it), and he knows I am interested. We will still do things just the two of us. Why doesn't he mind doing stuff the two of us if he knows I still like him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • he may like the attention of being with a girl who he knows has feelings for him


    he may be scared to get into a relationship because he enjoys and appreciates your friendship


    he may not actually feel as strongly about you in a romantic sense despite what he says. often times closeness in friendship can feel similar to that of romantic love.

    I think you should communicate with him. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels (essentially eliminate the gray area). You may find out that he has fears of relationships, doesn't want to ruin the relationship you two currently have or something else


What Guys Said 9

  • Yes. And they won't care if it gives you the wrong idea, as long as they get what they want.

    If he liked you, and he already knows you like him, then he'd be working on getting you off the market and making your relationship official.

    He's not doing that. That tells you that either he just wants to be friends, or he want to be FWB. The "benefits" don't have to be sex (though they usually are, eventually); for now, he may be happy with someone to spend time with, cuddle with, make out with, or whatever. But as a rule, guys only hang out with girls for one of two reasons:

    - they want a relationship with her (by far the less common reason), or

    - they hope to have sex with her.

    If he knows you like him, you're an easy target to be manipulated. You'll get weak and you'll give in; he just needs to put in some time and maybe imply a possible figure at some point down the road.

    Yes, I suppose it's possible that he's one of a very few exceptions who just likes you as a friend, but since you say he "acts interested", then I doubt it. He's looking for benefits.

    Since that clearly isn't what you want, you are making a mistake by hanging out with him, and you're just going to be more hurt when you eventually figure out that it's never going to happen with him. He's hoping he can get some benefits before that happens.

    • That is true about "getting off the market" but it's just that he doesn't want a relationship right now, and I respect that. And he isn't the type of guy that would go after sex or any of that; he's a high virtued guy. And we both enjoy each others' friendship but it is confusing, and I agree I should stop hanging out with him, however, it's one of those things where we are so close ... it's hard not to hang out.

    • Show All
    • Yeah, I know that. I've been aware of that since day one of the whole thing, which is why I'm confused.

    • And for the record, the closest physical thing that's happening is a hug, touching me to grab my attention, etc. And frankly, he's been lectured about his "signs" of interest ... like, I'm sorry, you don't stare at a girl and then look away when you get caught.

  • Sure why not?

  • he's playing hard to get if he acts interested. but he doesn't want you to think you have him wrapped around your finger.

  • more friends the merrier I say, its nice to get face time with friends. I believe humans need and crave social interaction like food and water. something we need to keep healthy, body and mind

  • Just because he knows that you fancy him, he won't stop liking you as a friend. When I find out that someone likes me, I don't start avoiding them. It's just the same as before I found out, if that makes sense.

  • Yes, but if you two keep on doing things only the two of you, he might eventually like you.

    Now the choice is up to you,

    If your having fun and he's having fun, why bother you can just go with the follow

    but remember if you do this

    You are the one that's bound to get hurt more in the end for assuming he will eventually like you back.

  • He might have another girl that is his first pick, and he's keeping you in the picture in case she doesn't pan out?

    • He claims he's not interested in anybody but still acts interested.

    • Well, he might not be telling you the whole truth about there being another woman if she's still up in the air about him. Also, there may be no other woman, but he might be the type of guy that doesn't make up his mind quickly about you and you're wanting to move at a faster pace than he's comfortable. Most girls I've noticed are very quick to commit to a guy they are attracted to, before the guy really knows that's what he wants. When men want to know, we want to know for sure.

  • I think it depends on how he's acting. If his behavior has changed with you, such as being somewhat protective, teasing, seems more interested than usual in what's happening with your life - he's interested.

    Btw, are you sure he knows that you like him?

    • he does that off and on. it's not consistent. but then there are times where he will stare at me and look away, be jealous when I talk to other guys, etc.

      yes, we talked about it.

What Girls Said 5

  • Imo, its actually really inappropriate to STOP being friendly with a friend just because you know they like u. he's being reasonable. just because people are often really disrespectful and childish about their friend liking them, doesn't mean they SHOULD be.

    Also he may like you and be scared. be unaware. or just be attracted and like you but not LIKE you. never know.

    Just accept for the moment he's not interested. continue being his friend. see what happens

    If someone says their not interested, it really doesn't matter _why_. they for w/e reason- not necessarily because they don't actually have deep feelings for u- can not will not do not ant to deal with you and themselves in a relationship setting.

    respect that.

    It is not for you to say someone else should or should not do. regardless of what you think their feelings towards you r. even if you're right about how he fees. he has a right to not be in a relationship. that's not lying.

  • I'm going through the same thing now. He may still be figuring things out with the two of you. But for your sake don't act like he has you wrapped around his finger he will see your desperation and may be a reason as to why he still has you in friend mode. Date other guys and if he wants you that bad he would come after u. Guys love a challenge especially if he has to compete for your attention but make it seem natural not forced. Making him jealous will backfire so don't do it just to get some sort of reaction, guys can sense this. Don't give him all your time and don't drop everything to be with him that's a total turn off for a guy. Instead turn him down the next time he wants to hang out and say you have plans and don't explain what your doing. It will keep him guessing and will wonder bout you and who you are with even if you have to lie.

    • For the record, he does get jealous when other guys talk to me some of the time.

  • Yes. I think it is possible for a guy to spend time with you but not be interested ( just guessing from my own experience).

    Maybe he wants to do lots of things with you because you are very fun to be around and it also makes him feel good knowing that you care about him?

  • Ok so the reason is probably because if he is your guy friend he cares about you. maybe not in the way you care about him I know this sucks but its better then nothing he clearly cares about you AS A FRIEND keep doing what your doing and I'm sure he will be actracted too you. Have a nice day c:?�

    • I know we care about each others' friendships, it seems, but it's just odd he still gives off signs of interest, whether he realizes or not.

  • Maybe he has nothing better to do

    • Oh he has a busy schedule. He has plenty of things to do.