Felt an instant connection with a guy I met once, has this happened to you?

I doubt I'll ever see him again though, met him in a bar didn't exchange numbers (wanted to) but before I had a chance to my drunk friend needed to go so we left. I'm so annoyed that I got on with him so well and felt this instant chemistry/connection it's weird never felt like that before.

Has this ever happened to you?

What shall I do? :-(

BTW I'm finding it incredibly hard to move on, so feel as though I need to see him to get rid of the 'what if' ah one can hope!

Thanks for all the support,if it's meant to be maybe I'll meet him again someday...
Another update guys, basically tried to go to this bar on four different occassions and each time I've gone something happens where I haven't actually been able to go. Like friends arguing ending night early, friends not dressed up to get in etc.

Is this fate that I'm just not meant to see him?! :( don't know why its happened every time I try and go there.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes it's happend to me and since it was reciprocated (if it's not reciprocated I wouldn't call it a connection) I confidently say that yes this happens to other women too :)

    When men generally feel an instant connection there's seldom romance in it (there are exceptions always) but when a woman such as you describes it there's always romance etc in it.

    Important is did that guy feel that connection too?

    I've known quite a few women who have felt that connection with me (and it makes me run scared) but I haven't ever felt that for any of them :( but one :D

    Keep your hopes high and fingers crossed but don't go overboard looking for him if you don't find him cause if you do, you may pass up something good in an obsession :)

    • Thanks really great info

      Well when I first arrived at bar we both immediately looked at each other, then he tried to give me more eye contact but I played coy,

      Then we were dancing near each other when he finally came over and started a convo with me with close contact, we laughed/joked (he wasn't a sleaze) and he didn't do this to another girl only me.

      Wanted to go back for number but you know the rest :-(.

    • Show All
    • Thank you!

    • was, is and always will be my pleasure :)

What Guys Said 15

  • I've definitely had this happen and it is so frustrating. I so rarely meet people in a bar so the few times it has happened where you feel this spark and connection for nothing to come of it is seriously frustrating.

    I'd suggest going back to the same bar at the same time in the future. OR think back on the conversation you had with the guy. Was there anything in it that might give you a clue as to where you mind be able to bump into him again? Like did he mention where he likes to hang out or where he's from etc.? It might sound stalkerish but I think it would be perfectly acceptable and somewhat romantic for you to stumble into him again and try to spark up a convo/relationship.

    • Thank you really good advice! I have been back to bar once, need to go again.

      No didn't even get a name! Am kicking myself at what happened, but I guess if it's meant to happen it will.

  • to be honest, a similar situation happened to me last night at a house party. Luckily I'm certain to see her again! ;-)

  • You're bound to find this again as the probability of him being the only one like himself out of 7 billion people is highly unlikely. In fact, from the way you sound I bet you can find this same connection from down the street at the local Wal-mart.

    • I don't understand what do you mean from the way I sound?

  • You need learning to let go and calm yourself else you won' realize when you get obsessed and begin troubling yourself while making a mess of things around you.

    For all you know something you let go of, winds up coming back after you've let go of it - happens with me every time (not saying it works or will work with everyone but whichever way the outcome is positive) :)

    • Yes I agree I feel completely obsessed with him and don't know how to stop it! I don't even know why I feel like this I've never felt like this before about a guy :(.

      How do I just let go? When I feel it's still up in the air?

    • I've managed to learn how to dissipate such thoughts and situations not only in such a situation but also in many other situations but am not so confident if I'll be able to explain how exactly the way I manage it :)

      However, the best way is to get busy with other things, shut down from that aspect that's bothering u, if you can't really forget it then devote say one hr per day for it where you do nothing but that but rest of the time you are doing something else - this can go down to one hr per week etc

    • I have at least 2 things & 2 people that are on my mind ALL the time - the same way you describe it but one principle that I don't let it affect my day to day functions - THAT is most important :)

  • 0|0
    • Haha thanks that's cheered me right up!

  • you'll might find someone even better without knowing.

  • If its meant to be, you'll meet again no problem. even if its seem impossible it was destine you'd meet him, there's no such thing as a coincident.

    • Thanks this gives me hope :)

    • Hanging out same area 3 times a week also helps.

  • nope...just a feeling that got suppressed with time...be +ve,be bold and try to visit that place often or ask the bartender or staff...n tell them that when they will see this guy ...they should message u

    • Thank you! I have tried those methods and they have told me to frequent bar more often! Lol

    • Show All
    • keep visiting ...i have tried to do this...i used to come home by walking down another street to get a glimpse of one girl I know and it worked ...we interacted...just keep trying

    • I will thank you!

  • yes it happend with a girl I met once about 3 years ago. When I met her I felt so drawn to her, and I felt so manly, she took out the best of me. But I made a stupid mistake and she hated me, as time passed by we started srifting apart and now we are like strangers, she just ignores me completely.

    I have yet to feel the same thing with another girl, and sometimes I still remeber her and the few times we had together. Oh well.

    I don't know what to tell you. The only way to meet him without looking creepy, is if one of your friends know him and all of you can meet, or pray that one day you run to each other on the same bar one day. Other than that, there is nothing else you can do.

  • Tell me more! Tell me more! Sounds like something from Grease. And yes I met someone like that. I saw her again soon after with her friends but she acted completely different, in a bad way.

    • Hah! Thanks, oh dear that's not too good,

      Well the night panned out like this;

      Well when I first arrived at bar we both immediately looked at each other, then he tried to give me more eye contact but I played coy,

      Then we were dancing near each other when he finally came over and started a convo with me with close contact, we laughed/joked (he wasn't a sleaze) and he didn't do this to another girl only me.

      Wanted to go back for number but you know the rest :-(.

    • Show All
    • I see. Well, you might meet him again and if you do, I hope he doesn't turn out to be a right *badword*

    • Lets hope thanks :) me either ...

  • yeah my balls started having a tingling sensation. and I made eye contact winked and walked away because I am ceebs relationship.. she seem too cute to be dtf

  • no you just thought he was good looking becuase you are shallow like every girl

    • No I spoke to him and he was genuinely a nice guy.

  • It might be genuine, but Id assume he's a very effective communicator and a PUA. These guys specialize in manipulating women's reactions to them to get them in bed then dump them.

    The whole industry opened my eyes to how outright retarded 95% of humanity is.

    • What's PUA? I hope not :-(

    • Guys that use certain language tricks and social manipulation to try to sleep with many women.

  • yes it has a girl said umm hey to me I looked up and locked eyes and my heart stopped and skipped a beat and it was just tunnel vision me staring into her eyes for I don't know how not sure what she felt about all that tho but if you know his name maybe you can look the person up on fb and send a friend request goodluck I know its frustrating.

    • Yes very frustrating! Nope no nothing other than his appearance hah!

    • Show All
    • yeah I get it now lol sorry I don't know maybe you could revisit the bar it might be one of his places he hangs out maybe? I hope you meet him again someday :)

    • Thanks tried it once lol need to hangout there more often lol, thank you, you too.

What Girls Said 8

  • Yes, it has :) I think when there is a face you like or a body movement - like him touching his hair or walking in a special way - sometimes even that will do the trick. I've tried it in Greece like INSTANT INSTANT crush when a guy drove past me several times on his scooter and then later the same day stopped on the road to smiled at me. I never saw him again but it was nice nonetheless... I've also met an Italian guy in Rome (he was from Milan, though) who was almost over-confident but in a sexy way (for a flirt :) ). What they both had in common was that they were super-flirtatious, very confident and very hot. I fall for a pretty face... It's sad but true. High cheek-bones, beautiful eyes, almost androgynous features.

  • Well, this is a true story like I swear on my rabbits grave true (an I love my bunny.. a lot)

    I met a guy on holiday in 2011 on the last day I was there in South Africa, 10,000 miles from the UK (where I live). Anyway, we had this like instant connection like I dunno, like we were old friends. We agreed on so much and we had so much in common. I couldn't stop thinking about him on my flight home but I was very sad, well actually close to heartbroken because the chances of me ever seeing him again were next to none. Anyway, got home an moped a bit but 2 weeks later got a FB friend request from none other than the guy. I poop you not, I cried. Looking at his wall I could see he had literally hunted me down using my name adding people in my family and around my city with my name. Call it stalkerish or whatever you may but he did it, and he found me.

    2 years on, we've spent a summer together and are 6 months into a long distance relationship and he is soon (pray to God) to be coming for uni.

    He is the best thing that ever happened in my life and the odds were pretty much stacked against us, but here we are.

    I it could happen for me, I'm sure it could happen for you too. So sit tight and hope for the best because you never know :D

    • That is awesome! Good for you two :-)


    • Aw that's such a lovely story, really pleased for you! Only issue for me is I have no name or nothing to go by other than his appearance and our meeting place.

      Will have faith and hope I see him again!... someday!

    • Thanks guys :)

      Maybe go back to the same bar on the same day type thing, he might be regular, who knows :)

  • Yes, this happened to me too...it was at a bar also and I wanted his # but couldn't find him haha. Maybe I will see him again someday idk

  • That's happened to me too unfortunately. I couldn't help but think 'what if' too. I guess there's a little part of me that wishes I'll see him again some day. (;

  • That happened to me once

  • Yes. We barely even spoke. He was working at the supermarket checkout and I thought I saw something familiar in him that I couldn't place. Our hands touched when he gave me back my change and that was pretty much it.. sealed. Sounds much less romantic than it felt.

    The next time I saw him was four years later - he happened to be taking the same course that I was and we couldn't keep away from each other. Now I always wonder if he had the same feeling that day in the supermarket. Clearly some things are just meant to happen and perhaps I wouldn't have been ready four years ago.

    Good luck with your guy. Maybe you could go back to the bar if you have no other way of contacting him, he might have had the same idea, you never know!

    • Lovely story! Thank you, one can only hope :-)

      You didn't say if you're together?

    • We're not I'm afraid. When I said taking the course, I really should have said 'teaching' the course. Professional relationship got in the way and it didn't end well - I'm in the same limbo as you are re. what ifs. Maybe it was just one of life's lessons, but it seems like we were meant to experience it regardless of whether we actually ended up together. Maybe this is the case with your guy. We connect with people in all sorts of different ways throughout our lives.

  • When I used to try internet dating sites, I received a few emails from a guy and we ended up meeting once. He was very honest and mentioned being interested in a strictly physical relationship, but wasn't inappropriate or crude. He just said that he had just come out of a relationship and wanted a real friend, but also wanted sex. I said I wasn't interested in that kind of relationship, and his reply was incredible. He basically told me all about myself, he was explaining what he saw in me and why he was drawn to me. He was incredibly intuitive, and was right about so much. It was disarming, but for some reason I didn't feel threatened, I felt strangely flattered. He really seemed to "get me" and I still, years later, think about him sometimes. Ultimately, I am still glad that I said no as I really want more from a relationship, but I do think of him occasionally. To this day, I don't think anyone has "gotten me" like he seemed to.

  • Yes, this happened to me that I met someone and felt an instant connection... I met him again someday, and we're great friends, despite an issue that came up, but we are trying to work through it.

    • Have patience and you'll meet him again someday