He can't see us together? What the hell does that mean?

[Momo112]

I've been friends with this guy for a few years, we decided to start hanging out. Testing the waters to see what could happen. Last night he friend zoned me. It was his idea to start dating, he even sent me ideas of things we could do. Then he came at me with this:

"So I've been thinking a lot recently. More than usual even. And I really think that you and I should stay just friends. I just can't see it working out well, and I really, really don't want to lose our friendship. And it sucks and I'm sorry."

So I wanted to know his reasoning and he comes up with:

"Maybe I'm just being ridiculous, but I keep trying to picture us together in a romantic setting and it just doesn't fit. I honestly can't imagine being romantically involved with you for a long period of time at all. I don't know why. I enjoy your company and our conversations and all of that. Our personalities go well together, But for some reason it just doesn't feel right."

Now let me just say that his brother and sister even told him that we should date, his parents like me as well. I know that his last relationship ended because the girl he was with cheated on him 3 times. I think he's afraid that he will get hurt again. (..which is really stupid, because I would never). I don't know if this has anything to do with anything, but I'm black and he's white. I wouldn't think that would bother anything...but who's to know.

I'm open to any interpretations of this situation.

Updates

+1 y

I should probably add that we discussed how we felt about each other before we started this whole thing and he said that he does like me more than a friend.

[UberTroll]

It sounds like he loves you as a dear friend but not romantically. It sounds like being cheated on had a big impact on him and you're probably right that it hurt him a lot. He probably wanted to feel confident that the next girl he dated wouldn't cheat on him. Since you guys were already so close (which means he probably trusts you) and his family wanted to see you together he probably thought dating you would be a great idea. But then once you guys actually started to transition into a romantic relationship, he realized that he doesn't feel that spark with you. He couldn't picture you as anything but a friend.

I went through something similar in my senior year of high school. The guys I dated up until then usually turned out to be jerks and I was getting sick of it. I wanted to date someone who I knew would treat me well, that's when I began looking at a close friend of mine in a new light. He was cute and we got along well so I thought, "this will be perfect!" We dated for awhile but the more time I spent with him, the more I realized I didn't really want to be with him. I loved him as a friend, but kissing him was like kissing my brother.

[harveykinkle]

He just doesn't see you in a romantic way. It's unfortunate but things don't always work out the way we hope they do.

[Anonymous]

That means he doesn't like you or want you as a girlfriend .he just said it in a nicer way

[Anonymous]

It means that he just doesn't want to be with you