Guys how do you react when a girl cries?

[youllthinkofme]

Guys how do you react when you see a girl cry? Or what do you think? I'm a cryer, many people don't think I am because I usually try not to cry in front of people. I think about only 3 guys have seen me cry. Two of three are my best guy friends. It's funny because the one who is usually more affectionate (not sure if that's the right word) or more open with his feelings, was so awkward. He just was like "uhh are you okay" and didn't come too close. The other one who is uusally more distant, I could tell was feeling really bad. He sat down and kept reassuring me and telling me it was okay and not to cry. Maybe because has a sister?

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I should add, I meant do you feel discomfort? (Forget why she was crying) or are you more at ease? Ladies feel free to share experiences.

[DanteSparda]

What I think about her depends on the situation and what made her cry.

What do I think when I see a girl crying? I think most guys go into panic mode and have no idea what to do. I will usually ask if everything is okay, maybe get you a glass of water, talk to you if you wanna talk about something. If you're my girlfriend, I try my best to listen and comfort you.

What do I "feel" when I see a girl crying? I get kinda angry and sad at the same time. Guys don't have the emotional gammit as girls do, we don't feel the same thing. I feel sad that you're sad and I feel angry that there's nothing I can do about. Past that, I don't know what to think, it doesn't compute well with me. I've learned that I can't want to fix the problem, that it's better just to listen and put my arm around you and tell you I understand and everything will be alright. The truth is that I understand the facts and circumstance you're talking about, I don't really understand the emotional aspect of it all the time.

And yeah in addition ,Tear is the most powerful weapon a girl has. the guy is truly heartless if he has no reaction to her crying.

[big_poppa_pump]

tear is a powerful weapon which girls have been using for centuries.

Sorry, but I won't have a reaction for a girl who is just crying with an hidden agenda behind it

[DanteSparda]

@big_poppa_pump - That's a different story

[OpenClose]

It kinda depends. I've had girlfriends break into tears about stress or getting past a traumatic event in their past, and all I want to to is hug them and let them know how much I care.

But I also know how girls use crying as blackmail. It's easy to make a guy look like the bad guy when others are watching (Silver-lining's playbook: "He's harassing me!"), and it's easy to guilt trip the guy and try to avoid any of your own responsibility or agency and pass the guilt all to him by shedding a few tears and saying "poor me".

It's babyish, immature, and un-liberated, so I don't stand for it.

So really it comes down to context.

If it's some random girl crying in the hallway, I generally don't say much. Not much good can come of it, because it won't likely be seen as a kind gesture, but as taking advantage of a vulnerable girl. It's kinda like a man trying to help a lost child. People would likely see him as the cause of the crying. People would more easily see a man as a pedophile or a predator before they'll see him as a nice guy.

[dipta]

I don't really cry in front of people, but I think only 3 guys have seen me crying. That's my dad, my younger brother and my best friend at the time...

My dad would always hug me and say "don't cry, baby, don't cry" and he tries to fix things, at least for the moment.

My younger brother was because he had this annoying habit of barging into my room without knocking, and he was like "why the hell are you crying?". I don't remember the reason, but it ended there. The last thing I needed was for him to see me crying, lol...

My best friend, we were at a restaurant and ended up talking about a close relative who was ill and had just passed away... I didn't wanna cry there and in front of him, but tears just wouldn't stop falling... He was more like talking it out from the other side of the table and I remember he said "if you don't stop crying, people will think I'm breaking up with you"...

[Olivia9]

One thing that s funny, is that the reaction is SO different whether a girl or a guy is crying. My mom was at the mall and I was getting a pedi. lol She was walking and on one of the benches in the mall this guy was on the phone just WAILING it was like echoing in the mall. My mum said her first instinct was to go over and try to comfort him. But as she was walking over, she thought "Wow, that's stupid I don't even know him! He could be unstable and about ready to shoot up the place, I'm not going over." So she went on the complete opposite end of the mall. lmao. I think it was right after the shooting in the movie theater or something. But she thought and unstable guy wailing loudly in the mall was a threat, so it scared her. I doubt she would have thought the same thing if it were some teenage girl.

[shenholds09]

I'm a bad friend to call crying because ill just say "I'm sorry" 100 times. But if its in person ill hug you and ask if there is anything I can do. I was crying about my dog one time to a coworker in a hotel room (we worked in the hotel) and she was like no no no don't cry we are at work please don't cry and she got on her knees and was begging me not to cry and I stopped and started laughing I guess it's just her way of cheering someone up

[shenholds09]

And just for my sake, my dog was very sick and needed surgery and she's like my daughter I wasn't just crying because I missed her. She's way older than most dogs to so I was extremely worried

[youllthinkofme]

Hell I cry if I'm away from my dog for more than a week lol.

[shenholds09]

Lol I know the feeling! My dogs 16 so I worry a hell of a lot lol

[animalwithin]

I grab hold of her and squeeze her tight until she stops crying. Whe she does, I'll wipe the tears from her cheeks and give her a kiss on the forehead and ask her if she wants to talk. This of course is assuming I'm with the girl haha. It wouldn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. if I'm her boyfriend, it's my job to protect, care, and comfort her. Whatever is bothering her, I need to remain at ease in order to calm her down and make her feel better; that doesn't work if the guy is freaking out as well lol.

[wallflowervulpine]

I've never been one to cry in front of people regardless, but in the last two relationships, the first had hit a very sensitive nerve, and he made me tear up, and basically was very very distant, and didn't comfort me at all. He just let me cry a little and then just called his friend and told him how he will be home in 15 minutes. My last boyfriend, was abusive and a manipulator, he made me cry all the time, and he would tell me to stop crying and after he would comfort me and try to get on my good side again, but he never try to really show that he was feeling bad or discomfort, just more of annoyance until he got what he wanted.

[thegirlwithgreeneyes]

My boyfriend tells me that he hates it when I cry, because it makes him cry too. Usually I only cry over the more serious things, and he tries his best to comfort me and get me to stop when I do. He'll even sit there and wipe the tears off, too. He makes me feel very cared for.

I've also cried in front of a few guy friends before, one didn't have a clue what to do and his face just kind of dropped, and he turned the other way. The other actually sort of made me cry, and he went up and hugged me and apologized. Lol.

[youllthinkofme]

Aww that's sweet about your boyfriend.:)

[thegirlwithgreeneyes]

He is a pretty big sweetheart, I'm very lucky to have met him.

[kambo_trick3y]

Hmmm, I'm the type of guy who will lend his shoulder for a person to cry on, but I will not console you to make you feel better if the problem is very solvable. Instead, I'll actually be thinking while you are crying and trying to come up with a solution.

I have a very direct, "Point A" to "Point B" philosophy. After all, if the problem can be solved, that's the truest form of consolation in my eyes.

[Olivia9]

You're a guy. We were having a debate in my social pschology class and one of the guys said how frustrating it is when people are crying and you offer them perfectly good solutions and they don't take it. My answer was that some people just complain or cry because they need to vent. I think guys are just problem solvers, not that they don't vent, but they always want to fix the problem logically. Not to stereotype, whereas girls comfort first and foremost.

[kambo_trick3y]

Venting is healthy, it can be good. That's why I offer my shoulder and ear when someone is trying to vent. But there's a difference between venting, and refusing to confront your problems.

If I could use an analogy, say your problem was a plant, this plant grows bad fruit. Crying only clips the leaves and the fruit off, it'll look nice, but the fruit will eventually grow back. I'm offering to shovel and remove the entire thing for you. It's a true, and permanent, solution.

[aMuse]

It depends on who she is to me and why she is crying... Legitimate sympathy requires a legitimate connection and understandable circumstances. If some random girl is cry, probably a bit of confusion, but not all that concerned. If she's a dram queen, then probably annoyance. If she's a good person who is close to me with a real reason, then concerned.

[aMuse]

*crying, *drama

[aMuse]

@update: If I don't know her I don't really care. It doesn't effect me. I don't have any emotional attachment to her.

If I care about her then a heavy heart of course...

[Anonymous]

My best friend is a crier. She cries over the littlest things. I'm awful at comforting people so I tend to back away and give her space while other friends try and comfort her. From what I observe, she tends to be able to calm herself down if no one is talking about the cause of her tears, but the moment someone mentions it or is like "don't worry about _(cause)_, it'll be okay" she starts crying again. I think that's justification for my backing off.

[youllthinkofme]

I'm like that to, I don't know how to comfort people.

[martyfellow]

I just let them cry; when they stop, I ask them what the problem is. Sometimes crying helps to clear the mind and get rid of sadness so you can think clearly, afterward.

It's usually pointless to try to make them stop; in fact, they'll often just cry louder and longer then!

After they are ffinished crying, I try to console them, and find out what was going on that made them cry.

[martyfellow]

Update; No, it doesn't make me ill at ease. Sometimes I wish there wasn't a guy code against crying; it seems to do a person good.

[ShesGonnaBeGreat]

I don't really cry often, but my ex was an emotional wreck and he'd cry at the slightest thing that made him think I didn't love him. I always got so uncomfortable when he cried and I'd just kind of tell him to stop. I'm used to manly men who cry for actual reasons, so it was kind of awkward.

[Anonymous]

Depends on why, where, and how often she cries. I don't think less of someone because they cry. I cry more than most people I know. Or at least more than people will admit to. I can't even watch a commercial for the make a wish foundation without my eyes tearing up.

If they are crying because of something stupid like their boyfriend waited an hour before texting them back, or because he talked to another girl, then I would find her unstable.

[littlemissamber]

I remember when my ex boyfriend broke up with me. It was over a text and right before I was suppose to go walk on stage for Honors Society, I was running out the school and I ran right in to one of my friends. He dragged me aside and let cry my eyes in to his chest and he just gave the most heart felt and longest hug. Then he looked me in the face and told me how pretty and wonderfull I am. And how that guy doesn't Deserve me, I'm very happy I ran into him. :)

[myspacemybroke]

Depends how well I know her. If she's fairly close like family or someone I've known a long time, I'd try to make her feel better. If it's someone I don't really know I'd just sit there and be like "uhhh...there there...be happy"

[MartinMarsh]

I definitely hug them pretty tightly. That's like my first instinct. Its not really discomforting. Though it would anger me if some idiot made her cry.

[Maxen92]

I'll ask how she's doing and what's wrong.

I've heard pretty sad things some girls have cried over, I become sad but I don't display it.

Sometimes my shoulder have become the natural tissue for her, but I'll just roll with it at the time being.

[snowangle]

I'm not a very emotional person and I never cry in front of people. If I did happen to cry in front of a guy friend, the best thing he could do for me is hug me and let me calm down, and then ask if I'm alright and leave it at that. When I cry, I really just need to let it out and then I'm done... I don't really feel the need to talk about what's bothering me (and I'd really rather not try to figure a solution). Just give me a shoulder to cry on and I'll do the rest myself.

[Dylan1989]

If it's a girl I know I will comfort her and be a shoulder to cry on. If it's a girl I don't know I will ask her what's wrong. In both cases I do feel discomfort. But I am willing to get over that because I don't like seeing people cry.

[Anonymous]

If I care about her, I will know what to do to comfort her.

If I don't know her, I don't care at all. I'll just keep walking or doing whatever. It's her problem and even if I do nothing there will be some douche bag thinking he can sweet talk her into sex by seeing she's vulnerable.

[ladsin]

oh god I freak out... I don't really know what to do so I just hug em... I mean that's about the best my brain can come up with unfortunately.

[Littletad]

A guys first instinct is to try and find out WHY she's crying. What we really should be doing is just hugging her.

[Hamburgers]

Unfortunately I want to comfort them and protect them.

Like women aren't coddled enough in today's society.

[big_poppa_pump]

seven women want to share that shoulder of yours.

make sure you workout to keep them strong :P

[ghiwa]

hahahaha .. yae I remember once I was crying really bad and my friend was beside me . he started hugging me asking me to stop crying and giving me kisses on my head . But I couldn't stop . I was really hurt back then . but he really freaked out . :')