What does it mean if someone calls you "emotionally scarred"?

[Anonymous]

Someone called me emotionally scarred. I've been hurt so many times by guys. They usually approach me, soon after I fall for them, quickly begin to lose myself while with them (meaning I become so emotionally involved with them that I look past unacceptable things they do or say and I don't question things about them that's questionable) what is the issue? I know it's not because these guys make me feel pretty. I feel pretty when I look in the mirror.. TBH, I think its just that I hate being single. Its a very lonely feeling.I can go a very, very long time without a guy in the pic so I'm not a dateholic. but its just that whether I've been alone for a long period or short period when a guy gets in the pic it leads to heartbreak. what is the issue here? how can I prevent this? I'm always feeling weak & vulnerable & insecure when I'm emotionally too far gone with a guy. does that make me emotionally scarred or what does it means then to be emotionally scarred?

[Bella9191]

it doesn't really make sense usually emotionally scared people are fearful to commit quickly again and push people away at the start who like them as a fear to get attatched.

from what I see your problem is you literally you just hand your heart over to a guy straight away. because maybe because of rejection in your past you feel a need to feel loved so any guy that comes along you want it to work and replace a former lover. and as you said you desperately want to be with someone because it feels lonely to be single. where there is your problem right there. you put up with sh*t because of a need to have someone. you need to be OK to be by yourself because then you won't put up with someone not treating you 100 percent perfectly. you will walk away before anyone has chance to hurt you. you need to build up confidence to be alone. then you will have more confidence to demand you are treated better.

[Asker]

the person who said it was a pastor. that was the first time he EVER saw me. (never had a convo with him before EVER) he knew NOTHING about me. his words, "you've been emotionally scarred. you told yourself that you will never find real love but you will." that was it but I must say to you that I am so thankful for your comment. It's a huge eye opener. It means a lot to me! Thanks once again!

[Bella9191]

well I think you have told yourself you will never find real love in a way. you are willing to settle for any guy that comes along because a fear that you will be alone forever or a desperate need to turn a guy is treating you like sh*t into the right one just because you need someone. love shouldn't hurt. if it does you are loving the wrong person.

[martyfellow]

Well, they weren't putting you down..as you say, you've been hurt by guys. this makes you have self esteem issues, so you crave acceptance at almost any price, especially by guys.

You need help. Start with close friends and family, but a professional counselor could really help you. You could discuss your past experiences and why you accept unacceptable treatment from guys. That behavior is probably rooted in your childhood, and hard to discuss with people who can't be obective, and/or aren't trained in what to look for!

Good luck..TAKE ACTION! You don't have to stay living like this!

[Anonymous]

Things in the past have left you emotionally damaged. abuse, neglect, teasing ect...