Guys would do anything to get into your pants?

[atlantis91]

Is that true? How long would they try?

I am in a relationship and I feel loved. We have been together for almost 4 months and haven't had sex yet. I am a virgin and he knows that. I want to have sex with him soon (in a few months lol) and he knows it. He is very sweet, very caring boyfriend. But I still read posts saying man do anything to have sex, so that confused me. Would someone try so hard for months just to have sex?

Updates

+1 y

Thank you all for the answers.

I do believe he genuinely likes/loves me. (he tells me that he loves me) He is very a caring, very sweet guy. He wants to see me every day and always tries to brighten my day when I feel down. I guess I should go with my gut feeling rather than comparing my relationship to bunch of oters that I read online :)

[TKoz93]

3 months, 27 days, 6 hours, 14 minutes, and 49 seconds.

That's how long you should wait before you're ready to have sex. That way, you're "absolutely guaranteed" to weed out the players or guys who are only looking for sex from your life, and filter in just the guys who really love you and care about your and are quality relationship material.

Okay, I'm done being silly, I just had to lol

Desperate times call for desperate measures. You don't know a guy's personal circumstances. Maybe sex is very important to him, he's just a really horny person, it's been forever since he's been with a girl, he finds you very attractive, all his friends in high school would constantly have sex with hot girls, he never had a girlfriend in high school and the only girl he had sex with was ugly, the only reason he had sex is so he wouldn't live with the stigma of being a virgin anymore, and you're now the only opportunity he's had to rid himself of the personal stigma of never having sex with an attractive woman.

He's in it to win it. He will wait as long as it takes, will do what it takes, until he gets what he wants. There's no way for you to know. The only way you'll find out is "after" you have sex with him. That's why this whole waiting game was always BS in my opinion.

Guys will do anything to get into your pants, and that's the inherent flaw with the waiting game. It assumes that "players" are the problem, and that therefore it will be successful at weeding out guys who are just with you for sex. Players aren't the problem. Desperate guys are the problem. Once they have sex and build up their self-esteem and confidence a little bit, before you know it, they'll grow tired of you, they'll want out, and they'll cheat or break up and just look for other girls.

The irony in all of this? It's a self-fulfilling prophesy. The more each girls wait, the less sex that's available to guys. The more guys want sex, and the more willing they are to wait to get it. Then, when they do get it, they've been deprived of sex for so long that they just want more and more, so they cheat or break things off and go with other girls. So, in an effort to not get hurt, girls actually brew the perfect recipe for getting hurt. There was an article in The Economist that broke down how guys would actually cheat less and place a lower value on sex if sex was simply more easily available. That's what you call, counter-intuitive.

If you want to be more sure (but never certain) that a guy isn't just with you for sex, then just look at how attractive his exes were, how many girls he's had sex with, the kind of sex he's had, and how sexually satisfied and content he seems. The less of a big deal or the less important sex is to him on an emotional level (i.e., his self-esteem as a man), then it's just less likely that he's with you just for the sex.

[strangerdanger]

lol... congratulations you figured out guys. Not something I ever thought I'd say to a girl. Also note that sometimes its not just self esteem that makes us only want sex. For some as much as we'd like a relationship, being able to hook up with multiple girls whenever we please is far more appealing than making yourself fall for someone. Unless you meet that someone who's perfect for you and worth giving everything up for.

[markml]

I give you props for a well thought out (though cynical) theory, but I think it has some flaws. One is that men have different principles, irrespective of their desperation level. Cheating is a character flaw. Second, there's this nice book called "The Paradox of Choice" that explains why the perception of having too many options makes life worse. Over abundance of free sex keeps men from being satisfied to only have sex with one woman. I would like to see your Economist article though.

[heavenonearth]

My advice is to stop reading posts about what men do. Ask yourself what kind of person your boyfriend is, what he would do, what his past is like, and talk to him about his feelings on sex and relationships. Everything else is just noise.

[heavenonearth]

Good choice. :)

[skinandbones]

uh yea. I know this guy who pursued someone for 8 months for sex. I hope your boyfriend is the decent sort...just be observant.

[markml]

Yes, but it's only half of the story...

The bigger picture, in my opinion, is that sex clouds judgement, whether you're looking at it from a male perspective or a female perspective.

Let's consider a hypothetical scenario where men were born without penises. If that were the case, I believe that somewhere between 50% and 75% of men would simply not bother with dating or relationships, and much of the remainder would try way less hard than they do today.

A smaller percentage (maybe less than 10%) would still try hard simply because they're romantics. But without a penis, most men would choose to remain single. The game would change over night, and suddenly women would have to go out of their way to entice men into dating them.

Just think about the way things are today. The amount of work that men go through to give constant attention to a woman, to dote over her, to let her win arguments, to take care of her, to risk giving her everything he owns when she divorces him. Why do you think men are willing to do that? What sane person would do that?

Yes, there is virtue to being selfless and not just thinking of yourself, but must of "modern love" requires more than selflessness from a man. It requires downright masochism, and the penis is the only thing that can account for why men are willing to do that.

The problem with when a man says he loves you is that he himself may be conflicted about why he's saying that. It's not as simple as him just trying to get in your pants or not trying to get in your pants.

You've probably heard this before, but every man thinks with two heads. One on top, and one down below. His heart lies somewhere in-between (hey, both physically and metaphorically).

When a man says "I love you," often you can't really know which head is more influencing him to say that. Often, he himself won't entirely know. It's entirely possible that a man could think he loves you and then later realize that he only wanted sex. That's how a man could be easily keeping up an act for 4 months, because he's also fooling himself.

Men are quite aware that thinking with their penis sometimes leads to bad choices, and yet they continue to do it. This is why I say that sex clouds judgment of everyone.

It is safer, in my opinion, to take sex off the table before marriage or larger commitment takes place, because then everyone has greater confidence they're staying in the relationship for the right reasons.

[ValleyofDrakes]

Personally if they're a virgin, and I date them, I'm confident that I wouldn't have to wait as long.

However, if I didn't have the amount of charm/game I have, I suppose I would work on it for that long just to get it done.

That's not to say the relationship is a scam, but IF I had no game, I would surely be sticking to my guns in order to make it happen. I mean, I'm already in a relationship. -Might as well try.

But if you're asking would I stay in a relationship for that amount of time, being nice to you, and being really sweet JUST to get in your pants... Of course not. But of course, I'm not your boyfriend.

[talloak]

Certainly there are plenty of guys who just want sex with an attractive girl and don't much care with who. There are plenty of guys who are not like that at all. You have to figure that guys who are after sex are not going to patiently wait for months when they could get it from someone else much sooner.

Guys who truly respect women face a dilemma. They naturally would like to have sex with the girl they have strong feelings for but they don't want to look like the guys who use them. So they are stumped about what to do. You may have noticed questions from girls asking why their guy hasn't made any moves on them. At least in your case you communicate with your boyfriend so he knows where he stands. And yet there is still the suspicion that he could be using you!

[Theguyoverthere]

Some guys yes, other guys no.

Usually guys just wanting sex are usually ones that you can figure out right away because they'll bring the subject up pretty soon into meeting. Other guys deny it yet shower the girl with tons of gifts and come off clingy and these types of guys are overly emotional and very confused people.

Other guys just know the girl's viewpoint on sex and respect it.

[qwer1234]

There are guys who would literally do anything to get into a girl's pants. Yet there are also guys who are genuine. So, no matter what people here are saying it doesn't have to apply to your situation. Just listen what your gut is telling.

If you don't feel having sex with him, say it to him. If he's genuinely interested in you, then he'll understand. Otherwise, you got your answer. Hope it this helped.

[helloyes]

i've been called selfish arrogant cocky and lots of my guy friends think I use girls for sex and I look like that typeof guy but I've fallen for some girls who I'd be willing to go out with / marry even if they straight up told me there would be no sex ever. if you really connect with someone and you're just happy for no reason whenever you're with them or thinking about them that stuff doesn't matter.

hope that helped

[front2back]

If a guy really just wants you for sex, he wouldn't bother getting into a non-sexual relationship, especially after 4 months. A sex only guy would have bailed out by month 2.

[Anonymous]

Guys will act a certain way for up to and sometimes past a year just to get in a girls pants. I have known men who have done this. Once they get what they want they loose interest and move on to someone else. It is the thought of not being able to have what you want. It is the thrill of the chase and once they get it the chase is over.

[Jonny_]

Yeah I know a ton of guys who try way to hard... I don't see what the big fuss is, I've not hard sex in almost a year and a half and I'm not exactly going to die because of it...

[Anonymous]

Some will. Some want the same things that you want though.

Answer to your last question is yes. I mean, if a guy really wants to have sex with a girl, he would, but he'd probably have side p**** while he's waiting.

[Prof_Don]

Waiting that long...a dude seeking sex will go elsewhere.

[Opalivian]

We all want sex. Some just control it better than others.

[Anonymous]

Men will try for years to have sex with a hot girl.

[Opinion Owner]

Especially if she is really hot the guy will lie and say he loves her and wait years.

[Anonymous]

No guy has ever tried with me. Maybe I just not attractive enough.

[Anonymous]

id say so. usually six months or a year they give up