will I grow old a loser like I am now ?
PS : I only talk to girls I don't find attractive
First off, everyone has their own taste. Some girl could think you're not the most attractive guy ever, but another girl could think you're a Channing Tatum to her. Everyone's opinion is different, so stop having this attitude and put yourself out there. If you do, you are bound to find someone! Have confidence in yourself... if you walk around with your head down no girl is going to want to come near you, but if you have your head held high with the confidence beaming off of you, the ones that find you attractive are going to flock in! Now don't be cocky confident, but just be confident with yourself. I doubt you are pathetic, creepy, and a loser, it's just your subconscious mind telling you that so you walk around believing it, but stop! Be who you are and I'm sure some girl is going to find you extremely handsome AND funny, but you have to stop sulking around thinking you're going to end up alone forever. Keep yourself well groomed, dress how you feel like suits you (hopefully it's not slobbish or anything) and BE CONFIDENT. And who knows, some of the girls you thought would never be attracted to you could have been, like I said, preference is key. Some people are attracted to bigger women/men while others prefer athletic built or even really, really skinny people. Some people may prefer a male to have that baby look face to him because it makes him look softer, while some women may prefer a man that looks rough and tough. Some may be attracted to geeky men/women while others look for an athletic person... and the list goes on and on. Everyone has their own taste and I guarantee someone out there will think you're the most perfect person to them. But you have to start with that negative attitude and get rid of it!
what if no girl has ever found me attractive
The answer to your question is completely up to you. I highly doubt you are as bad as you say, your self-esteem is currently at an all time low and so you are in an ever ending spiral of self-criticism and loathing. Trust me, been there, done that and it sucks. Do you know what changed all that...my attitude.
Start saying how good you are. List on a piece of paper all things that are good about you. What do you think other guys are offering women that you can't ay? Nothing. The difference between you and that guy you see getting all the girls is a brilliant act of confidence. If you think you're brilliant, so will everyone else.
My brother used to say the same as you, he found his wife when he was 30 years old and hasn't looked back since.
Number one, get out there. Go to as many things as you can, join as many clubs as you can. Get an active and varied lifestyle and start to enjoy yourself. What do you really like doing? Find out and go do it. Life is too short for us all to sit around moping and hoping someone is going to come a long. She is out there for you, waiting, and you need to go and get her.
You say girls ignore you, well ignore them back they aren't worth your time. You're acting as if you are inferior to them, well you're not. You are a human being too damn it!
Now come on get a bit in fight in you, find that girl, and she will realize she has something special.
I can guarantee you will look back on this question one day and say to yourself 'what the hell was I thinking'. Good luck :)
they offer a better exterior . Saying how good I am knowing that I'm only saying it to force myself to feel better won't work , I've tried . Girls can get any guy they want , they are damn well superior to me and most guys . How can I ignore girls that don't like me when I can't even find one that does
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by ignored you. Generally if they have ignored you, it means that you have initiated some sort of contact to begin with. If they do ignore you, then I'm telling you those girls are not worth your time anyway. On the other hand, what is it that you have said to these girls, that have made them ignore?
On the point of exterior. Ok. Good looking is whatever you perceive it to be. Have you truthfully ever tried speaking to a girl you think is out of your league?
the problem is , every girl ignores me . out of my league no , one I was attracted to yes , but then I found out that I'm not worthy of girls who can get other guys so I kept going lower and lower and still they treated me like crap
Aw dear, you sound like you have been hurt by a girl or it has been a combination of hurtful events that has led to your way of thinking, and I am sorry for that. Girls can be nasty when they want to be, and coming from a girl who was bullied by other girls for years, I know best of all. I have been out with a guy I was really attracted and a guy who I wasn't overly attracted to and guess what they both treated me like crap. What I'm trying to say is isn't about looks, the personality is.
well because of my looks , girls won't give me a chance to show any type of personality
Your mindset is what is pathetic.
Let's be realistic for a moment. How likely is it REALLY that you're alone because you're a "worthless loser"? Not very. People sh*ttier than you could ever be find love every day. That's a fact. No matter how ugly, no matter how stupid, not matter how boring and uncharismatic you are, SOMEONE out there will find you attractive. Look around you at all the sh*tty people you know who are married, or in relationships. You don't have to be attractive or interesting to get a girlfriend.
And besides that, life changes in ways you could never imagine. You have the ability to find a girlfriend. Stranger things happen. You find yourself in places you never dreamed you'd be.
You have two choices:
1 - Accept the words and title of pathetic loser that people label on you.
2 - Take their words of insult, and use it as burning fuel to reach to something higher. Get richer, get buffer, many things you can do to ascend.
Your weakness is a choice, and you can bury your head and let it overtake you, or you can overcome it. Either way, don't expect any sympathy from women, myself, or society.
His weakness is a choice
hate how girls are allowed to play the victim but not guys
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u would grow old like a loser if that's what you set in your mind. you have to change your mindset if you don't want to grow old like one. how? by thinking positive all the time, don't think that the girl doesn't like you already tho you haven't talked/approached yet. you have to be tough and take the risk on talking/approaching the girl you like. just be yourself, be positive, life is beautiful and don't focus on girls that don't like you...move on to the next one :)
did you even read the question ? did I say I'm not approaching ? if a girl likes me , I would go after her + I can't force being positive
i am unattractive, hence pathetic , creepy , loser . I'm not funny or charismatic and I've never had a real interaction with a girl ( mostly because they ignore me )
will I grow old a loser like I am now ?
PS : I only talk to girls I don't find attractive>>i assumed that you don't approach girls you like hehe...u have to force positivity there's no harm doing that :)
there's no harm in forcing it . but I've done it before , it just doesn't work
i wish it did , and I wish some girl becomes desperate
“Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?” ? Haruki Murakami
its true man :) you got to get off your ass and go for it! there could be a girl out there falling in love with your awkwardness, but you would never know.
im 28 now , there hasn't been one to even let me have a conversation with her
You can thumb me down all you like but you have to break out of this thought pattern it's dangerous! I am not ugly but I am not a top model either so what do you think I give a sh*t. There is so much more to life then shallow thought patterns. Make something of yourself at least you have a shot. Imagine you are so disabled you can't even walk, talk, feed yourself, go to the toilet. Life can always be so much worse. Enjoy being young and alive and then you will find charisma!
If you maintain such low self esteem, yes you will! Looks really only account to a small percentage of who we are. They're only good for first impressions, that's it! Now, I'm certain you're NOT a loser! You spelt the word charismatic correctly. So what if spell check corrected it for you, at least you knew what it meant well enough to use it in a sentence, lol. Stop worrying about your negatives because we all have them. Yet nobody is gonna be interested if that's what we're focusing on. Show you're good qualities and don't say you don't have any because we ALL have those too. Find yours and bring them out so others can notice them! Most importantly, CONFIDENCE is the key! Things are never what we think but what we believe. And you can believe there's someone out there somewhere who's uglier than you! So if you have teeth, be thankful! Things could always be worse! Smile now and get out there and knock em dead!
the only good quality I have is being a good swimmer , and that won't attract girls , especially with better looking guys there too . 400+ rejections
Maybe you're not a nice guys. Like, are you rude? I knew this one guy in high school who was unattractive, he had this attitude that made him seem like he thinks he's the sh*t. Never seen him hanging out with a girl, probably cause he kept acting like a f***ing a**hole all the time.
if you only talk to girls you don't find attractive, you need to figue out why you have such low self esteem..that is the core of your problem. fix that and you will meet the ONE
if I talk to girls I find attractive , then I'm going out of my league
there is your problem,there is no one who is way out of your league unless you think poorly of yourself
if girls who aren't good looking rejected me , why would the ones who are not ?
+ive talked to attractive girls when I first started , the same thing as girls treat me now, even a bit worse
you may jus be choosing shallow girls...never stop looking,u will find that ONE
make sure you have good hygiene,do you make sure you smell good, is your breath fresh.
rejected over 400 times , all of them can't be shallow ? I'm not dirty or smelly , why does everyone on this site ask that ?
its only so we can weed things out,i would have to know your personality to know what is running people off.Do you come on too strong? are you a little harsh or rude, do you pretend to be someone you are not.are you able to make friends easily?
i can't say much about my personality , but guys are good . Girls I don't know , they never give me a chance to show any kind of personaltiy
never give up,u only need one girl to notice u..she is out there
im almost 30 :/ and never even had a girl smile at me
I doubt that, I think your having a problem reading the signals, go to a relationship counselor, I think that may help you grow more confident
we don't really have one of those here
you could get tips from other successfully dating friends
my friends are kind of the same situation , but they gave up and lower their heads when they see girls
you guys have self esteem issues, the good girls are harder to woo, so if you want a good girl step up your dating skils
how can I step up my dating skills when no girl gives me a chance to show any kind of personality
keep looking
its been 8 years :(
Love is worth the wait..good wine also takes years
im 28 now , and never even had a female friend . Do you know how pathetic that is?
u are still young..it is not pathetic, I have met many people who have never dated ..its not that uncommon,be patient
Are you that physically unappealing that no one can look at you, or is it that your personality sucks?
how should I know ? I said hello to a girl I don't know and she walked away
Well I suggest you find out. If you whine you suck, but you don't know what you need to improve, you're whining pointlessly.
you do realize I wasn't depressed before and girls still treated me like crap (even though it didn't matter to me before )
I don't know why they treated you like crap. Before? Before what?
You're being too vague. If you aren't going to say anything, what is the point of talking?
before I started feeling lonely and depressed
Figure out why they treated you like that and you are on your way to become less whiny. =)
because I'm ugly , that's what a few of them told me . and you insult me too ?
There you go. Improve your looks and you will not die alone.
how can I improve ugly facial structure ?
With plastic surgery. Collect money for it and go get ti.
then that will cause other problems , from family
So you care more about what your family thinks, than about your future and finding someone to spend your life with?
seriously what's wrong with you
Nothing is wrong with me. I'm not the one complaining here.
Why are many guys on this site having negative attitude? You are single now doesn't mean your current situation is permanent. What is amazing about life is , it is fluid, things/circumstances/situations change very fast. the only thing that is permanent is change.
Seriously are girls that bad in the country you are at that they would ignore you completely?
im going to turn 30 . and I haven't even had a real conversation with a girl (because they ignore me )
You're not pathetic but you're not confident in your own skin either. None of us are perfect but we have to learn to live with it. Like Kàmbo said use this as your fuel to be something better. What you're labelled use it as your motivation to become what they want you to be. Go to fitness clubs, get fitter, make a six pack, some muscles. Dress different to what you do, get fashionable clothing,read up on how to approach women etc
Ask your friends for advice, hang out at clubs
my friends tell me to" suck it up , and live life single , its better " and they all girlfriends , which they refuse to set me up on dates with her friends . I am fit , I go to the gym but I refuse to get a six pack , its unhealthy and I won't get anything to eat that I like
Ok
i hate that
Just ignore them you just haven't met a nice girl
between over 400 girls , at least one can be nice + I'm almost 30
I'm 18 never dated I don't care I'm too busy getting good exam results. There's more to life tbh
Nobody knows what your future will look like. But I do know that feeling sorry for yourself won't help at all.
Unattractive girls have learned they cannot get the hot guy so why can't unattractive guys learn they have to settle for an unattractive girl. Or even better change for the better. It's possible.
read the stupid question and you'll see I avoid attractive girls + unattractive girls now want hollywood models
Eventually the unattractive girls learn that they will never have that and they will settle so either you improve yourself, which is totally possible, or accept that the unattractive girls will soon settle for you too.
ive been wasting hours at a gym 5 days a week . Still a fit body isn't enough to get a girl attracted to me
Well that sucks, maybe it is your approach then.
yes,person I don't know,even though I don't know you and I can't see into the future,i'm already certain you'll always be a ''loser''.
Wow...bitch much!
Every woman is attractive and if you are a creep then look for girls who like creeps
Get a make over, go see a therapist, hit the Gym and stop complaining
i wasted 3 years at the gym
dude I'm trying to be positive but you need to get some confidence somehow, take a shot of whiskey and go talk to girls. A shot of whiskey always takes my nerves away.
did I say I'm afraid of talking to girls ?
yes so go see a therapist, professionals are used to helping people with these type of problems.
can you show me where I said I did , because I sure hell didn't + my problem is that I have ugly facial structure
Get save up for plastic surgery
then my family will resent me
da f***?
my family would hate me
then just date an ugly girl who shares the same interests
most of the girls I approached I didn't find attractive
you should look past their appearance then because you wish people would do the same for you.
i don't know any girls , plus I'm not worthy of an attractive girls time , I have to
That's why I said giving it a shot with a mediocre girl is better than just being misserable and feeling sorry for yourself
i never go for attractive girls .I told you that
the only physical feature that I want is for her to look like a girl, nothing more
then if that is the only thing you are looking for in a partner then you deserve to be miserable and will never learn that important life lesson
im ugly , I'm not allowed to have standards . If I do have standards , then I am going too high
exactly because you have really high standards you have no right to complain. But ugly people have standards about different things like personality type, niceness, religon, music choices, political views, just not on attractiveness unless they are charismatic as f***
You gave shitty advice
Feeling sorry for yourself is a choice. Only you can pick your own self up. So quit whining and DO something about it. Also, at the age of 25-29 you ALREADY ARE grown up.
shut up , there's nothing left to do anymore , I make decent money and I waste time at the gym to deal with you shallow women who want nothing less than a stupid hollywood model
Kambo is right. Women will smash you, if you show weakness. If you project confidence, no matter how ugly you are, women will almost instinctively try to impress you.
i always see feminine guys with girlfriends
Do you see those guys getting dumped by their girlfriends/wives? 'Cause I do.
You need to work on your self esteem issues before worrying about getting into a relationship.
Once you're in a better mental place I'm sure there will be girls interested in you.
girls werent interested in me before I became lonely
You can always change that
how so , nothing I can do anymore , muscles and money didn't attract women with me
Maybe start looking on dating sites or just talk to random women on line and see what happens
i made a pof account a year ago , failed at it , never got messages or replies . Changed the photo to a good looking guy , started getting messages
Well, go on to other dating sites, don't just stick to one
im not going into the paid ones . there are barely any people on it
Im not telling you to go onto the paid ones, I'm telling you to try it, I can't promise it will work but I'm not promising you it won't either, ya know, 5 years from now you're gonna look at this question and ask yourself why youve asked this. There are a lot of users on here who have asked questions they wish they could delete now, because they got over it. Just try it and see what happens
ive tried online dating +very few girls my age are on it
Maybe. I'm not a psychic
You will find the right and perfect girl for you just wait!
im 27 and still haven't even had a girlfriend or even a female friends
how is my decision ? going and doing what ? I've done everything . Girls refuse to talk to me
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