How do you accept that you're gonna die alone?

Question

At just 22 years of age, I am done. Girls don't understand me and I don't understand them. It's always been like this and it won't change. I don't consider by any means that I am unattractive, in fact I've been told quite the opposite by several girls in the past. I just have a really hard time finding a girl interesting enough to even bother talking to her and in the very rare occasion I do I can't manage keep a that girl interested for more than 3 weeks (when I get lucky) Its funny because see my dad, who is all alone because of the choices he made in the past, and I can't help but to think "that's me in 30 years" How many of you guys have also come to this conclusion? And how do you deal with it? I particularly, beat the crap out of the heavy bag in the gym and get drunk on weekends.

udolipixie · Accepted Answer

How do you accept that you're gonna die alone?

Possibly by realizing that even if you had a partner you'd most likely die alone as few people die with their partners or just take up the seemingly common attitude it most American guys have towards relationships that it's a horrible evil trap where he'll be henpecked, nagged, and b*tched at by a gal who is a gold digger that will get fat and deny him sex using it as a weapon.

How many of you guys have also come to this conclusion?

If you mean 'die alone' as in die without a partner I came to that conclusion in middle school when I read up on feminism liberating gals and saw the vast majority of guys reaction to freedom. I solidified that conclusion when I found most guys abhor relationships and commitment and found most guys to be bitter, resentful misogynists with inflated egos where he's on such a pedestal his only possible flaw is niceness and extreme entitlement thinking being nice means he should get whatever gal he wants.

And how do you deal with it?

Egh I don't consider it something I have to deal with as I find it quite fortunate as dying without a hetero relationship means way less chance of me being raped, sexually assaulted, and/or physically assaulted as well as less enduring male bullsh*t.

ThenThereWas1 · Accepted Answer

Technically speaking, everybody dies alone. But that's just be being a smart ass so ignore that :-P

But seriously. I don't get why everybody seems to think that just because they don't have a significant other means that they are going to die alone. What about friends or family members? Don't they count for anything? They're life companions too.

And dude. You're 22, and I'm assuming you're not on your death bed? We are constantly changing all the time. What we need now might not be what we need in 2 years, or 10 years. You don't know who you're going to be in 10 years, and you don't know who you're going to meet in the next 10 years. So sure, you can say you're throwing in the towel if that's how you're feeling. I'm just saying you don't know what your future holds.

In the mean time, your coping mechanisms of kick boxing and drunkin' it up on the weekends seem to be helping you deal. Just be careful with the alcohol though. It can make you feel happy-go-lucky if you're in that state of mind, but whatever cynical thoughts you're having will only be magnified. It's a depressant after all. Kickboxing/boxing is great though.

streetmonkey · Accepted Answer

Clearly you are afraid of ending up alone. For starter, you're not your father, and you probably have no clue what he really is feeling. Talk to him, even though it is weird to discuss that kind of sh*t with your parents. Then, redirect your anger and loneliness. Your hormones are messing with you, use that energy not only on a heavy bag or by wasting it in drinking. Use you brain and do something great. Eventually, just stop with the negative thoughts. You keep thinking sh*t like this, you will end up with sh*t. You want something good, it starts in your head. There are great people out there, and it is dumb luck to meet them, but it's also the law of attraction.You can be a magnet of good stuff and great people, but you won't if in your head you already think it's over.

UnderDriven · Accepted Answer

At some level we all live and die alone. No two people can share a consciousness, so there is always a sense of separation. However, I suppose you are referring to not having a significant other. Even if you were married it is possible that your SO would die before you and you could not find another in the last years of your life. It is even possible that if you had children they might die before you, or not maintain contact. So there are no guarantees for anyone...

However, at your age I believe it is premature to project that far into the future. Yes, some people are "loners" for one reason or another but 22 is pretty young to decide that you are going to die alone. I'd say give it 22 more years before you start envisioning a lonely death. There are lots of different women in the world, and you haven't met even a small fraction of them. I wouldn't get discouraged just yet...

Now when you reach my age (much older than you are), you have a lot of experience to draw on to make predictions about the future. Given my experiences I'd say I have a good chance of being alone for the rest of my life, but no one can know what the future holds. I am fortunate that I can deal with being alone (it helps if you are an only child). I read a lot which helps...

RedThread · Accepted Answer

Simple answer? You don't. There are over 3 billion women on this planet man. I'm sure more than one of them will have you. It's a statistical impossibility that nobody in the world understands you and wants you. You can't let the feelings of rejection stop you from anything in your life. You're only 22 years old for goodness sake.

arez5laffytaffy · Answer

Wow. Your story sounds exactly like the guy that I've been helping through depression. I'm not saying you do have it but the story seems the same and he is struggling with this every day as well which is why it has led him to such depression. I don't think you'll end up alone. For instance this guy I've been helping... I realized what a great guy he was by helping him through everything that I started to grow feelings for him. He doesn't like to accept the fact that I have feelings for him though because he feels that he couldn't honestly attract anyone if they really knew him because of all the awful things people in his past said when bullying him. I feel that there is hope for you. So don't get too depressed over it, if ever. PS I don't think I mentioned that he drinks a fifth of whiskey+ each night to get through the day. Drinking is a normal way to get through pain. You're better off not getting to the point he is by just drinking on the weekends. Just stay true to yourself.

britannny · Answer

Um, you DON'T accept that as your fate.  You accept that you don't know what will happen to you, and that life is unpredictable.  You could die alone, you could get married 5 times, you could marry the love of your life, or you could get hit by a bus tomorrow and never live to do any of that.  You really don't know, no matter how sure you are.  And so there's no point in wallowing in self pity over something you don't even know is going to happen.

Biimba · Answer

everybody dies alone!

but seriously, you have your whole life ahead of you and life is always changing and full of surprises. I was depressed for a while as at 24, I got my very first boyfriend and then he suddenly dumped me after 2 months. he had been the best thing to happen to me. I was crushed and thought I was unlovable, would never find another etc. I gave up on love and tried to accept that I would be forever alone. all this time was wasted worrying about nothing as little did I know what the future held for me: a wonderful guy who pursued me even when I acted cold in fear of being hurt again, he pushed on and we are so in love.

TrishaM710 · Answer

When it comes down to it, none of us girls understand guys and vice versa. The boat you're in is a big one. As for finding girls who are interesting, just try looking in different places. Maybe try volunteering to walk dogs at an aspca or something. Or parks, or different grocery stores. Just change your approach and you'll change your result. History doesn't have to repeat itself.

Misstaken · Answer

Your only 22 you will find someone and we all go through phases in our life where we think what's going to happen to me and freak out  Don't worry you will find someone stop over thinking

martyfellow · Answer

I'd take a trip to France or China and that will change your perspective on women and relationships, and you'll probably meet someone in the process.

KalaniScorpio · Answer

There's always guaranteed change in life. All of it is a transition. This is your life now. But in a year it will be different.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like the life to me. You just need a better perspective of things

Anonymous · Answer

You're 22. Relax . It's going to get better

Anonymous · Answer

I hate how us guys are expected to initiate

How do you accept that you're gonna die alone?

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