Sexual Relationships
+1 y

What does it mean when a guy places his hand on a girl's lower back?

I have been noticing the occasions that this happens has been appearing more frequently, and I don't understand why. Men, what is the thought behind placing your hand on a woman's lower back (the "curve" or "small of back")? I have come to three possible meanings... 1.) It is done out of a caring, protective nature. 2.) Some sort of attraction. 3.) It is simply some sort of greeting, perhaps meant in the same way as a hug would, but without fully going there. My first thought, that it is done from a somewhat protective, shielding impulse, is because I tend to be relatively shy (to different degrees, depending on the situation), quiet, and I look /very/ young. Could it be some sort of warm "paternal" touch, to make me feel more secure? Or, of course, the other two. Attraction or way of greeting. Most recently it was done by a man I had just met, very kind, and was from Brazil (if that matters at all). Cultural thing? I am in the USA, by the way. One more... how about when an arm is wrapped around your shoulders? A few months ago I had went somewhere, and the instructors kept mentioning how gloomy I looked. One, who was very outgoing, walked my group and I out with his arm around my shoulders (and I think prior to that, very briefly, on my lower back). I thought it was because I acted very reserved and introverted (because of the particular people I was with), and he wanted to, maybe, make me feel better. And I'm not ravishingly beautiful, so I don't think it is attraction. I think I'm okay, but nothing model-esque. Long dark hair, long lashes, rounded Italian features, decent build. I don't wear makeup, so all my imperfections and marks are on display, which I'm sure just adds on to the "not ravishingly beautiful" bit, lol. Could you guys give some insight, please? Girls, you're welcome to answer, too.
It is protective, caring,
Vote A
It is prompted by attraction.
Vote B
It is a way of greeting.
Vote C
Other.
Vote D
Select gender and age to cast your vote:
Girl Guy
1 0

Most Helpful Girls

  • For my opinion, I believe the same with you too. To a lot of people I come across as a very touchy person, which is funny because I am only "touchy" with the guys I like and huggy with everyone I know. However, most of my guy friends who I treat like brothers or my guy friends (lol) only hug me around my upper back with a pat or pick me up to spin me around.

    Then it comes to most confusing of all, my crush. The first time that he touched my lower back was when it was Halloween, it was busy at work, and he was leading me to my department (it was very crowded that day). However, this might have happened because he knows my feelings for him too.

    Then, this happened just not long ago, we started hugging because the way I distinguish my guy friends from my crushes is through my hugs. I can come up to my guy friends and hug them like crazy, and they'll accept it (half of them are used to it by now haha). But when it comes to my crush, I get a little more shy and nervous. Coming to the lower back part, he started giving me different hugs, which I can distinguish between why now:

    1. He would wrap, usually one arm, around my upper back if we are in a place where there are customers, managers, etc (my work doesn't allow managers to date someone under them).

    2. When we are alone, like in the back when it's just the two of us, I would wrap my arms around his neck and he would automatically wrap his arms around my waist or lower back (lately he has been right on top of my butt lol). And it would also count on the fact if he would hug like this with you only or with other girls as well (warning to stay away from the flirty guys who flirt with all girls). Example: This girl used to like him and she would give him a tight hug, but he would just tap her head.

    So, yeah, it depends on the person, the location, and what attractions you have for one another. For me, I felt like it was fate that I met him (I'll tell you more if you want to) and the connection was there and natural.

    I hope this helped and I'm sorry for rambling.

  • Most times I believe it's innocent, just a natural thing to show maybe protection and togetherness, but I actually had a guy put his hand on my lower back, then move it upward, and he told me he just wanted to confirm that I wasn't wearing a bra. I was a bit surprised by the bold admission on his part, so I made the equally bold admission that I wasn't wearing one, so it was all good, lol.

    • I'm thinking that it is usually fairly innocent, too. Perhaps a mixture of greeting and an attempt to maybe ease the "quiet girl." Wow, that was definitely bold! I would have also been surprised, and probably either walked away or ignored it not knowing how to respond. I like that you were plucky and admitted it straight, though, lol. Thank you for the answer!

    • You're welcome! Lol, I'm quite certain he already knew I wasn't wearing a bra, so I saw no reason to deny that fact. I guess maybe it was fun anyway, if I had a problem with it I should've worn a bra, right? At any rate, it broke the ice and provided a good topic for conversation, so it was a good thing.

  • I've only had guys do that when they are leading me somewhere, or we are walking somewhere I might fall. Ex: at the movies to keep me from getting lost in a crowd, or while wqlking up stairs. It's only been from men I was dating and I think conveys interest and protection at the same time.

    • Yeah, I have seen that before. It generally, for me, does not include walking somewhere, though; just standing. Thank you very much for the response!

  • It could be any of those, or all three at once, it just depends on the guy who's doing it and his relationship to you. I would look at other things he says and does around you, then you'll probably have a better idea.

    • I figured it could be all three, or just a casual way of hello. It tends to be from guys I've just met, so any could be possible, I suppose. Thanks for your reply!

Most Helpful Guys

  • I would say that its the guys way of comforting, yet innocently feeling up at the same time. Guys love curves, and we love touching/observing curves. SO that being said, what better way to show that we care AND feel up a (what we consider) cute womans figure than to touch the lower back?

    As for the shoulder thing, I would consider that more as a playful friendship touch. We want it to go further, but don't expect it to or wish to test the waters just yet

  • Either he's trying to find the switch that turns off the speech function, or he's trying to work out what kind of screwdriver he needs in order to take off the panel and remove the batteries all together.

    • oh for fucks sake pop off kid

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What Girls & Guys Said

4 3

  • I'd say more #1 than the others, but usually it's done to girls/women I have at least some affection for.

    • hmmm this isn't 1987 old man

    • sorry. i misunderstood

  • isn't it like just guiding you, kinda like pulling your arm?

  • A...

  • umm i have done both of those things with only one girl who is a very close friend, and i did it more has a caring thing, she did it back to me in response so we ended walking really close to eachother

  • It means he wants to touch your bum! lol

    • Oh? Lol. Maybe. But I guess it differs depending on who it is. Thank you!

    • Lol, indeed! You're welcome.

    • Really?

  • I've had guys do that who were friends with benefits types, so I always assumed it was a kind of benevolent possessiveness. I voted attraction, since it was closest to how I interpret that gesture.

    • For me, it hasn't usually been with people I've known for more than a day. Thanks for the answer!

  • I've read that it's supposed to be a guy's way to indicate a sexual desire to the woman; I've never done it myself, seeing as how I'm an introvert and would have to know the girl very well before I were comfortable in touching her there

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