Ladies, do you like us guys to be submissive or dominant? (POLL)

So me and my best female friend have been talking about hooking up and making out. And she says she likes he guy to make the first move and that in extreme cases she makes the first move. She also says I should show more initiative ad make the first move, but I'm more of a submissive person. So I don't want to make the first move because of the fear of rejection. So this made me question:

Which do girls like better a dominant guy or a submissive guy?

This question has a poll!

  • Vote A I like the guy to be submissive
  • Vote B I like the guy to be dominant

What's Your Opinion?


What Girls Said 8

What Guys Said 2

  • Selected as most helpful

    Here's the deal- it's not really one or the other all the time. Honestly, no girl wants an entirely submissive guy, but it's more of a continuum rather than just black or white. Some guys are very dominant in all aspects of their lives (must be on the upper end of the power dynamic in a relationship, must be the leader, must make decisions,must make the first move) and therefore want girls who are willing to be more submissive. Some guys are very submissive (tend to let others make all the decisions, let others make the move, don't have upper hand in the power dynamic) so they want a girl who is more dominant. But most guys fall somewhere in between, as do most girls. I personally don't mind making the first move if I really like a guy and just because he doesn't make a move doesn't make him unattractive, nor does it make him entirely submissive. Lots of guys are shy at first but once you get to know them in a relationship they assert themselves quite a bit.

    Basically, it's a personal preference amongst girls,as it is with guys. What you need is to find a girl who compliments you on the spectrum of dominance, if you're in the low end of the middle (which it kind of sounds like to me), you need a girl in the high end of the middle.


    • I agree with this greatly, like I'm opinionated when one knows me but can come off shy to those who don't - to the extent of seeming like a hollow shell. The guy has to be able to break through my shyness barrier - and so must have some degree of dominance, but should be able to realize that even though I seem like a bit of a zombie at first has to be able to take the fact that I can actually think for myself. Relationships are all about balance.

  • it depends on the situation. in the bedroom, dominant but sometimes in life it's good to let us boss you around too :)

    • What ever works hey. Gotta fake it till you make it lol.

    • What if he let's you think you're bossing him? Would that be a pretty good compromise? lol!

  • I would never even consider dating or hooking up with a submissive guy. I like guys to be assertive and manly and as a man it's your job to come to me and show me that you want me. If I don't want you you'll know in about 3 seconds. There are so many guys now that refuse to act like men and act like little boys instead wondering why girls don't come to them, I think it looks so desperate and pathetic when girls go and throw themselves all over guys. You're a man, act like one!

    • Thank you. At least you're not afraid to tell the truth.

  • i like a guy that is asserttive but not pushy, dominant without being totally overpowering.

  • I don't like submissive guys at all. Guys like that come across as weak and spineless.

    I prefer dominant guys to submissive guys if I had to choose between the 2, but I don't like guys that are super-dominant and try to tell me what to do and act like they rule over me. I prefer a balance but more on the side of the guy being direct and assertive.

  • iddk, I prefer dominant...just because its rougher if he takes control.

  • i think only creepers like their men to be submissive...

  • I'm shy and passive when it comes to guys, so I'd prefer someone who was more dominant...

  • I really don't know what some of you guys are thinking. It doesn't matter "that you'd make a wonderful boyfriend" a girl isn't going to ask you out. She shouldn't have to ask you out. IT'S YOUR JOB TO ASK HER OUT! To hell with rejection. You're going to get rejected; deal with it. Start to love it! If you're the best looking guy around, some girl is going to reject you.

    Girls don't want to make choices. She doesn't want to pick the restaurant; she wants you to pick the restaurant. She doesn't want to choose between a movie or taking a walk; she expects you to figure that out. She doesn't want to kiss you; she wants you to kiss her.

    This is what guys don't get about women; it's what makes women seem so complicated. She wants to know why? She wants to know why you chose her. What was so special about her? If you can't figure out the restaurant, the movie, the walk, etc., you'll never figure out her. You make her feel like she's just any girl, and she loses interest.

    • I like you. You realize that we like to feel special, the thing is it's like the guy making all the decisions like this kinda let us know the kind of things he likes too. The thing that shows a guy we like them is the fact that we don't reject them of the bat. Not to say it is as black and white as that though.

    • @Down arrower; looks like I offended one of Dr. Gitusum's disciples. Go ahead; down arrow away. I'm just trying to save you money dumbass.

    • You know, I try to tell guys this stuff all the time. However, it's not what "Dr. Gitusum" says; so, it must be wrong. Why do so many guys believe these "dating gurus?" Why do they read books on "How To Get The Girl of Your Dreams." So many guy don't get it when I ask: "How do you know she's the girl of your dreams if you've never talked to her." Thank you! I was starting to think I was the one going crazy. Dating is not rocket science.

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  • This guy is totally lacking balls.

    • So then why did you feel the need to click on a question meant that states: Ladies...

      I'm just wondering, your a guy, why bother even clicking on this question if its meant for ladies, shouldnt you have just skipped it?

    • I never answered the poll, and it doesn't take a genius to know that women want a man who acts like a man, not some little pussy.

    • Says the guy who answered a FEMALE poll