I dunno, low self-esteem?
Normal guys like normal girls.
And things that are normally attractive is a girl that's hot, a girl that has her normal girly behaviors like attention-seeking, competing with other girls, trying to be clever & manipulative, playing games; and her normal human behaviors, getting into trouble, not being perfect, and having a normal healthy sex drive & desire.
A guy with low self-esteem is intimidated by this.
First he thinks, there's no way a girl that hot would ever want me, when all these other guys (better than me) want her too. Plus, even if she did somehow want me, she would eat me alive. I'm so emotionally and sexually weak next to her; that I would basically be her little puppy & slave. That wouldn't be a relationship at all. Plus she's had sex before, and isn't afraid to show it or admit it; which means there's a better chance that I probably won't be able to give her what she wants sexually; and when I don't; she's not the type to be afraid to turn around and tell me how much I suck, or just strait up cheat on me or dump me.
But guys with low self-esteem need lovin' too.
That's where the "cute, innocent, wholesome" types come in.
First he thinks, while all the other guys are busy with the more attractive & more sexual girls; there's a market that's being ignored! These girls are cute (not ugly), which means there's a better chance that she'll want me over guys (better than me). She's innocent, so it won't matter as much that I'm so emotionally and sexually weak; since her own morality will prevent her from using me or taking advantage of me; because I have no backbone, so girls like this are my only hope for not being a complete carpet & doormat. She's wholesome, so my lack of sexual confidence or skill won't be an issue. Since if she wouldn't say anything even if she wasn't happy, out of fear of appearing or sounding like a slut/whore; or tainting her "wholesome" image.
So I guess the moral of the story is, every type of person has their place in the dating market.
Simple, a man who wants to settle down AND/OR cares about more than sex in a relationship will be attracted to this type of girl.
I think every guy has a different definition for cute vs hot. Maybe it was never clearly explained. I think "cute" has more to do with the way a girl acts, and "hot" has to do with how a girl looks. I'd rather describe more specifically if someone really wanted to know. Personally, I'm more inclined to go for a girl with a subtle attractiveness. Something special about her that I can't immediately pinpoint or describe that makes me melt and gives me butterflies to the stomach. Maybe I'm curious, but that's what attracts me.
As for innocence, maybe some people like innocent girls because they can easily influence her. It's like a block of clay. You sculpt her the way you want to, or leave it the way it is. However, you can't reverse it once it dries. Perhaps these guys are freaks that want a utopian girlfriend for himself... I'd probably stay away from those 'innocence seekers.' Give me a natural, down to earth girl and I'd be happy with that.
I don't need some hoe that will cheat. And to the guy who was talking about low self-esteem: you do know that she mentioned "wholesome," right? That means a girl with morals. Girls with morals won't cheat. If anything, you're getting dumped if you're a sh*tty mate, but she won't cheat on you. Nobody in his right mind wants a girl that'll cheat... unless you don't care and are just in for the temporary sex.
Why do so many of you guys think the sexy girls are high maintenance, superficial and sluts and whores. I'm not the girl next door type but I'm also not high maintenance, I am independant, sexy and confident. I don't care if a guy doesn't spend a lot of time with me. I have no problem being dumped because I don't feel like anyone should get sad over something like that. I am sexually experienced but I don't have sex with people on the first night because if I do, I my self get disintersted in the person very quickly because he already gave me what I wanted. It's hard to explain the type of girl I am but you guys seem to all think the we're all sluts. Honestly, I don't even belive in that word. If you were in a relationship with me and you wanted to have sex and I let you, you are actually the easy one because if I was the one to ask you to have sex on the first night, you would have said "hell yeah". Who's themore easy gender. I don't want to be mean but it's true. Let's not call each other easy since you all seem to pin it down on the girl in every situation. Stuck up pricks.
Whats wrong with being 'wholesome' 'cute' and 'innocent' ? Don't you think that's a bit stereotypical?
Well I listen to my guy mates and they say that these kind of girls are down to earth, not self absorbed and not high maintenance. They don't like chicks that want to sleep with them straight away, they want to get to know them before they take it to the next level.
And Sexyness can take you so far... Cos guys may take you for advantage if you act too sexy all the time and they won't care for your feelings as much... Looks fade when you want to know somebody at a intimate level...
And sometimes a guy just wants to settle down...
And each guy has his own unique preferences and it depends how define 'wholesome' 'cute' and 'innocent'...
i'm so shocked by some of these answers.
who wants a girl that sleeps around, shows her body to everyone, etc.?!
girls shouldn't be ashamed about having morals, and respect for themselves!
the 'cute wholesome' type is someone who cares for themselves and doesn't sink down to such a low degrading level.
and NO WAY in hell are these the "backup" girls for guys with low self esteem.
being this type of girl doesn't mean that you are submissive or can't speak up for yourself!
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Interesting question. I can give you a little background because I wasn't raised in the USA, but in China.
There are two stereotypical perceptions of women in the world. One is the western woman, who is sophisticated, bold, aggressive, sexually experienced, and independent.
The other is the eastern woman, who is docile, quiet, shy, virginal, and incredibly dependent.
You can look at why the eastern woman is attractive in a few different ways.
One way is that they are less likely to argue their opinions. They are more likely to approach the male amicably to talk about their problems. Also, they may be more pleasurable to court; presenting a challenge in that they are shy, but a simplicity in the same fact -- they are not intimidating to men, but endearing. Also, they tend to seem servile and obedient, which has been the main objective of wives in patriarchal eastern society. As such, eastern women like to display a "cute" side. It is perfectly natural for a Japanese business woman to have Hello Kitty pencils at work, instead of using rich perfumes. They tend to dress cute, instead of complex. Just go on youtube and look at Japanese female pop stars. ALL of them try to present themselves as cute, young, childish.
In the west, where servility and obedience is seen as negative traits, women tend to be more independent, and outgoing, and aggressive for this very fact.
As an Asian male, I am attracted to both. aggressive women present a thrill to me, that I enjoy, but shy woman present a more endearing emotion to me.
I like both.
As a general rule most guys are attracted to this type of girl. The "girl next door" is the girl that is pretty, nice, attractive, 'homely'. It's probably some biological thing from being a good 'mother' to potential offspring.
Think about it the other way. A 'party' girl that drinks and smokes and does eccy tablets and comes home at 5am and sleeps till 3pm then does it all again might be fun to be around in the short term, but would you want to settle down with her?
And, here's a copy paste from another answer I did that feels appropriate.
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When my high school yearbook was being created, there was a poll for "most beautiful guy/girl" that everyone filled in. Rebecca was very very sexy. Everyone assumed that she'd win. Problem was, Rebecca was a bit of a pain in the butt. She wasn't mean, but she was very self centred and superficial. Always cared about being 'perfect'.
When the poll was held, Rebecca didn't win. Infact she came 3rd. Another girl, Lisa, won hands down (from memory something like 80% of the votes). Lisa was a 'bigger' girl, not fat, but not model thin. Thing is though, she was the sweetest nicest person on the planet. Always helped out, always said hello, not up herself.
I often tell this story to girls that think guys just care about looks, but here it applies about personality too. Guys do like good looking girls, and we'll instinctually notice a sexy girl, but at the end of the day, a 'nice' girl is far better then a bitch. We'll have a one night stand with the bitch, we'll marry the nice girl.
They are just what I find attractive, and have always been what I find attractive. The "sexy/hot" look never did much for me. I always preferred a more modest, less attention seeking look, but yet still cute. As far as personality goes, these are the girls I tend to click with more and enjoy being around. They are typically down to earth, very nice, and are more mature. Lastly they seem to value sex more, which is a big plus for me since I also like to value sex as more of an expression of love than it is just a fun act.
As far as the type of guy, it has nothing to do with self-esteem, me having to "settle" with them, or anything like that, that's ridiculous. I don't see why I'd have to settle when it seems as though "innocence" or "cute" seems to be becoming more rare (sadly). I consider myself a regular, average, nice person. I also like to be romantic, as to me that's one of the most wonderful parts of a relationship.
I can honeslty say that I am a bit disappointed of some of the girl's answers.
But perhabs its from the past experiences they've had, so I can't really take it too seriously. Their opinions...
Believe it or not, in some cases, the kind of guys that go for "Cute, Innocent and wholsome" type of girls are guys who have had success at playing the field. These guys usally have great confidence in themselves and isn't afraid to pass a dime if he isn't happy (hopefully you know what that means).
A guy might get tired of playing around and wants to spend his time on a girl who is down to earth and mature. Someone to where he'd want to let down his gaurd and just be happy with. A girl that doesn't play head games so he can take her seriously. A Girl that will look out for him and take care of him.
That's something no "fling" can do...
Why are we drawn to it? Because it makes us feel like big protecting characters, she's more likely to be sexually loyal and exclusive and it just presses the right arousal buttons. (all based down to biological imperative, say like how girls like high status, rich, muscular and dominating men that are older than her)
Types of guys that like that sort of character? Guys that want a wholesome relationship girl.
(note, not a relationship per se, like I like my 'constant' girl to be innocent/cute, whilst keeping the quick and dirty flings to the more alpha female type)
First off, its a challenge-- I really see no point in dating a girl who bones you the night you meet. These innocent girls create hurdles to jump, plus, we guys always think we'll discover some hidden nympho in there :) Anticipation makes the d*** grow hard, and the longer we have to squirm (to a point), the more excited we are when that night finally comes.
Now, sex aside, if I'm dating a girl- I'm gonna want someone real. For me, nothing beats a good-old country girl with morals and intelligence when it comes to a relationship. They don't bad mouth my friends, they probably aren't gonna cheat, they want more than money (whether or not I have any), and the odds are they are gonna generally care about me, my feelings, and my ideas. In other words, the kind of girl you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with
There's stories from both sides...jerks will just want to take advantage of sweet innocent gals, and nice guys will want to get with someone like that because she's less likely to have drama, cheat, etc. therefore more likely to be a very faithful, down-to-earth partner.
I don't like to divide girls into hot/cute/whatever but when a guy sees a girl and labels her as hot he is immediately putting her on a pedestal and automatically is afraid of her. He wouldn't be able to talk to her if she walked right up to him and started talking football. However if a guy pegs a girl as cute he is putting her on the same level as a flower, or a puppy. Do you see where I'm going?
It's not as if the cute girl is more attractive than than the hot girl, its just that some guys make certain girls impossible to approach or talk to.
Source: I deal with this problem constantly
I do like the most helpful opinion below, but it is contingent on the guy already knowing the girl. I thought this question was more directed towards initial attraction. but either way I think you have a good answer for whichever scenario you meant
I love those kind of girls just because they seem to be the most loyal when it comes to relations but not only that, I think there also more willing to enjoy quite evenings together as opposed to going out to night clubs or crowded areas which I personally hate.
You can bring them out in public introduce them to your mother,have a intellegent conversation with them and when get them alone they'll rock your world.
girls who are wholesome can be physically attractive...don't think otherwise.I've seen some ugly sluts.
Because they are usually the ones who are sweet and will be nice to you and even if they do end up rejecting you, they still would be great friends. They also aren't like the usual hot girls who are high maintenance and think people should just worship them. They're normal, and I think most normal guys like normal girls.
guys who are looking for a relationship partner. I would never get committed to a girl if she wasn't a wholesome innocent type of girl...
sadly enough every girl I've dated has turned out to be pretty empty once I've gotten to know her better... and I only go after the seeminly good girl types...
Most guys are attracted to this as it shows how open they are and how they won't screw with them or use crazy antics to get something out of them. Some guys also believe that they can turn the innocent girl into whatever they want them to be because they would be easy to change or be a challenge to change if they like that. Not much to say about it but that's how it is...
I have no clue. To me, innocent is only fun if they're open to being corrupted ;)
What you describe instantly conjures up in my mind a stereotype of a country girl: socially conservative, sexually clueless, politically provincial, who's more at home on a farm than in a fast-paced, innovative, invigorating urban setting.
these are the girls that a rare to find these days, something I'm looking for. unfortunately I run into most girls who are sluts, or are already drawn away from most guys because they dated a douche, which makes it hard for the nice guys like myself.
To me, I'm not really into showing people I do bad things *wink wink* so on the outside, I act like I would never do anything, and in that case, I can work my way into situations without people getting suspicious. I think guys like the innocent thing because there pure, meaning they have no "experience" per say. Guys like the power over the girl, well, as long as there confident. Shy scrawny guys get intimidated by confident sexy girls.
These are the ones you can TRUST. At least sometimes That's getting pretty rare these days!
i prefer innocent cute girls waaaaaay more.
theyr just more down to earth, more futureproof (less cheating etc) and just make awesoke life companions. Most guys use party girls for sex and eventually settle down with a cute innocent one.
they're appealing because you can trust someone with good values. they have strong characters and expect the same from the people they are with.
Well, cute and innocent translates to men as not a slut and loyal. So the appeal is having a girl that will stick by you and let you protect her. She's innocent so she isn't a bitch and she isn't gonna be flirting with random guys, etc
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