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Does he just want sex or a real relationship?
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Does he just want sex or a real relationship?
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I'm the shy women of two and I catch the bus to my part time job. Hes the cute bus driver. Its Nov 2007 and I've been single and celebrate since 2005 and I'm really not looking for anyone at the time but I noticed him right away. I'm a picky girl and I love Metro-sexual men. But, at this juncture I cant tell what he is. He just caught my attention. Its now Jan 2008 and every year I change my look. My hair is dark brown long and curly. I've been wearing it in a ponytail for a month. (I was busy)LOL. I have a natural tan and I feel that I'm an attractive woman but,I'm no where near stuck on myself. I have some issues with the way I look and maybe thats why I try my best to change my look every year. At this point I noticed him in November 2007. Its now February 2008. Its Valentine day and we had a Valentines Day lunch at my first job and I was running late to my part time job so I really didn't have time to change into my comfort clothing. So, I had on a sexy black dress and I wore my hair out and strait on this day. My hair was just to long at this point I knew I needed a hair cut or I needed to do something with it. But I pinned it back and ran to my p/t job. Later that nite I got off my job early enough to catch his bus. It wasn't planned it just happened. He finally speaks to me and says "Happy Valentines Day" we chatted until I got off the bus. I asked him then in a subtle way was he single. " I said "Happy Valentines Day, What did you get your wife or your girl friend?" He said "No its just me and my daughter"
Now a few months have passed and we'd say hello chat and I would get off the bus. I've cut my hair like Rihanna and added highlights now I have a brand new look. I've been toning so my body is almost ready for the summer.He hasn't seen me with the new look cause Ive been very busy but I'm still having sparks flying around me and I'm hearing love songs playing in my ears every time I see him but I'm thinking he doesn't even have a clue. My friends and even my kids are saying to me to just say something to him to let him know that I like him. But I don't do to well with rejection and I'm thinking if he wanted my number he would've asked me for mine by now. I have old fashion views on certain things and I feel the guy should pursue me. I've had been sending signals but was he catching on at this point I just didn't know. Now, its been about three weeks and my look has changed again since hes last saw me. So, check this out I went from Nerdy Alicia Keyes to my Rihanna hair style that grew out and now I'm looking like Lisa Bonet with the wild curly bush.
**Note** I do have a point I'm trying to make here with the hair thing so bare with me.
Recap- Its November/December 2007 I first noticed him. February 2008 "Valentines Day" he finally notices me and says hello...... its now "Fathers Day" and I decided that I was going to get him a fathers day card just as a nice gesture and to show some more interest. At this point I'm stepping out of my box and following my friends and families advice. But, they all want me to put the number inside so he can call me and I don't do well with rejection so I'm scared I said No. My son (18 yrs old) decides to give him the card and put my number on the back. I'm going nuts. Wow, I'm so nervous I didn't know what to do this point. I'm thinking is he going to call me and I'm thimbling. I've never felt these emotions before its all crazy to me. So, he calls me the same nite but of course I couldn't be available that same nite. I wanted to see if he was really interested enough to call me the next day. So, My son said "Shes sleeping,can you call her in the morning" He says "No thats ok,just tell her that I said thank you for the card" I was like "Woe"... what did I just do? i told my family and my best friend what I did and they all call me a fool for not answering the first day. They made me feel bad for what I did. So, the next day comes and he calls me I answer the phone and we talked through the nite till 2:30 am. he was falling asleep but he didn't want to hang up. I felt like a teenager again. We laughed it was cute. We talked about serious issues and health and I happen to mention that i eat healthy and work out because of my heart condtion. He seemed so gentle about that. I felt special. So, he said he wanted me to get my rest so we hung up.
The next day I thought about him all that day. I couldn't get him off my mind. He consumed my thoughts all that day. I never felt this way about anyone in all of my 37yrs. My family and friends cant believe it either they cant believe he actually has hope. Cause they all call me the "Runaway Bride" I'm a runner.I run when I get scared. But, its something about him where I don't feel like running and its scaring me. so, later that evening he didn't call me. I was worried. i was thinking to myself did i say something that turned him off what happened what did I do. I was nervous. So of course I felt like he wasn't interested so I wanted to run. I talked to my family and friends they calmed me down a lot. So, the next day I had a day off. I went to help a neighbor and I felt sexy that day. My jeans really showed off my toned curves on this day and my highlights in my hair was shining in the sun and my sun shades made me look mysterious and sultry. At this point I'm trying my best not think about how I was crushed he didn't call me but, hey guys get busy right. So, I decided to keep busy until he called me. But, I found it to be funny that when I was leaving my neighbors house he rode by us on the bus my neighbor waved like she knew him already I waved and he kept going. 20 mins later he called me in the house he was talking to me like he didn't just see me 20 minutes before. I was like 'Duh I just saw you and waved" He was like "Oh that was you, you had your back turned" It was cute. he said " You could've got on the bus and rode with me today" I said "All you have to do is ask me" He said " You have to want to ride with me" at this point I'm getting heated and its sexual tension in the air.
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So, he called me later and asked me out. We talked till 3:30am about everything we could think of. He knows I'm a germ freak and he still wanted to hold my hand. Guess what I had some garlic hummis before he came to get me and I eat alot of garlic cause I love italian food and its also good for my heart. (thats one of my natural remedies) I brushed my teeth but we all know garlic gets in your pores and then "Woe' Lol. It was wild I was embarrassed only a little cause if it was going to be over that nite over a garlic smell then it would have been fine at that point. At some point in the conversation I caught him holding his hand over his nose. So, I asked him for some gum or a mint cause I had some garlic. He said no but I know he wish he did. LMAO!!!!!!!You know I'm like Seinfield I always find something wrong in my relationships as well. So, we would have been even. I once cut it off with a guy cause his nose was to big.Do yo guys remember the show when the girls hands were like man hands. LOL. I also broke it off with a guy cause his penis was to small. So, if he didn't want to speak to me again after smelling garlic all nite then it would have been payback right?
Back to the story...I guess the garlic was too much for him so he decided to get out of the car. LMAO!!! I got out of the car with him and stood behind him and hugged him from behind. It was nice. I had a jacket so I was warm he didn't have jacket on so I wrapped my arms around him cause I felt him shivering. It felt nice. I'm 5'4 hes fricking 6'4 I'm like a baby trying to keep a gorilla warm. It was nice. I felt safe with him. He said it was our first date. I thought it was me riding with him to grab a bite to eat. I didn't have a clue he thought of it as a date. We actually saw a girl and a guy fighting that nite so we had a chance to address the issues of domestic violence. I learned that we both have strong views on it and I hope he knows very well that I'm not the one for those issues. it stared getting late it was 3am and my daughter called and asked was ok.
He decided to take me home. we are sitting in front of my house and its raining I mean lighting and thunder I mean the works and we are talking like its a sunny day in May. I mean the fricking lighting scares the crap out of me but some how I felt safe with him. We talked about relationships and why we both were single and we had that in common. Remember I've been single and celibate since 2005 and I found out he was single and divorced for 3yrs. In the middle of talking I asked him is does he consider himself a cheater. Of course he gave me this" Well, I date a few people and I feel you have to be in a relationship to consider it cheating" I was like "Wow" I just told him I never cheated on my boyfriends in the passed and that I never cheated on my ex husband and he came at me from left field with a sharp tone. (yes I caught that) So, I explained to him that I don't date guys that are in relationships and I don't date guys who are married and I also let him know that I never cheated cause remember when I feel uncomfortable about any situation I leave quickly I don't stay if I feel as though I wont be able to work it out and if its bad enough I wont even speak to the person anymore. He said wow I wouldn't want that to happen I would at least want us to be able to speak. I told him it depends on the situation Cause one day I would totally like someone and the next day I wont. He doesn't believe me he said if it was him that I will still like him I just would be holding it in suppressing my feelings. I told him No I really wouldn't like him anymore. I'm a frickin light switch and a runner. He took my hand and looked at me in my eyes and told me that I couldn't get away from him. But, I would if I had to if the heat came around the corner I would leave in 2 seconds flat if I thought he was going ton hurt me. I told him that I didn't want to be this way anymore and he said I didn't have to be with him. I said " Wow" your really laying it on thick aren't you" (it was still raining)
He then walked me to my door I asked him for a hug and he gave me a half of a hug. I was like ok whatever. I didn't give him a kiss on the cheek cause of the garlic. I didn't want his cheek smelling like garlic the whole way home. What a memory that would have been huh? So, maybe 10 mins later he calls me and he asked me why I didn't call him when I got in the house and that I could have given him a kiss instead of a hug. I skip the subject. It was 3:30am we talked till 5am.He was saying that I should've came with him and that he wanted me there. Then he told me to get some rest for the next day and that he was going to come see me at work the next day. I told him that the women there always stare at me and it makes me feel uncomfortable cause I think they like my in a sexual way. He laughed. He said that when he comes to my job the ladies were going to be like "Who's that? Oh,that's L---'s man" I said "Oh that's what there gonna say, my man" He said "Yeah." We both got really quite. He speaks to me and always says stuff like were in a relationship or we are going to be real soon. He always speaks to me like hes my man already like forgetting we just met and went out once. He also refers to himself as my man and when we talk on the phone he doesn't want to hang up and go to sleep he'd rather fall asleep on me talking. Does he want to just hear my voice till he falls asleep.
So, the next day he came to my job and I saw him walk by a few times before he came in to see me. I told him that he looked nice and he told me "I know" I laughed. We went out to talk for awhile and then he said he had something for me and that he was going top the car to get and hell be back. In the meantime I went back to work. A co-worker forgot her watch at work and asked me to come give it to her. But, he was still outside maybe 100ft away from where I was and he saw me go over to her truck. He didn't see her hejust saw the truck. HE shows some jealous traits cause he was calling me like I was talking to a guy or something and asked me to come here. So I went down where he was and he gave me a gift of prayer. It was prayer he told me to keep with me. But, then I guess he wanted to show off in front of our mutual acquaintance that works at a shoe store down from my job. He told me to take my jacket from around my butt so he can watch my butt as I walk away. He said it real sexy like we already had something going on in that way in front of the guy. I grabbed my butt and said"You'll see all this later" I played along cause I didn't want to embarrass him.
Later...we talked. He said that he was going to be busy later but then he asked me why I didn't call him and tell him once again that I made it in the house. I was like "Sorry sir I wasn't aware I was supposed to." He asked me what I was doing I said nothing much I was going to find something to get into later still assuming he was going to be busy. So, we hung up. My best friend called and we made plans to hang out. So, when she came he called again. This time she was at my house and we were already on our way out. He asked me what I was doing I told he that my best friend was at my house and he said call him when I get back and I said Ok but I want finished talking but he had already hung up. So, I left thought nothing of it cause he said he was going to be busy. Later that night I called him when I got home. he sounded sad like something was wrong. I asked him what was wrong he said he had just got in himself but I think he was lying. I think he just wanted me to think he was out. He sounded jealous again. He told me that I should have told my friend "I cant be with you tonite I need to be with my man tonite cause hes laving tomorrow." I asked him why he didn't say that he wanted to spend sometime with me before he left? I told him that I couldn't read minds and that if he wanted to spend time with him he needed to let me know. But he feels that I should say when I want to spend time with him. So, we talked a little more but my heart was pounding a little strange that nite so while I was talking to him I was relaxing. He seemed to be worried about me. He asked me did I need some water cause he would bring me some. I knew we had been hanging out late and talking to early morning hours and I didn't want him to drive 45mins back to me for a gallon of water. All though its sweet that he would do that. I probably would've been sleep by the time he got to my house and besides he needed his rest as well. He was leaving the next day. He sounded so disappointed. I hope not cause I do notice how he pays so much attention to every detail about me.I even noticed that remembered stuff I said to him back when we talked on the bus valentines day.
The next day came....he was supposed to go to church and then come bring me another gift he had for me and he didn't. He called me around 4:30pm and he said he was already on his way to the airport. Then he was pissed at a cab driver and got angry. He sounded like something else was wrong. He said he was going to call me back. He called back and from his house phone. I thought he was on his way to the airport. I didn't say anything I left it alone. He was just acting strange. he said he was going to call me back again. I gave up at this point I didn't want to talk to him anymore for the day. He was getting on my nerves a little. I know my temper. But, I got in the shower and told my son if he called me tell him that I was in the shower and that I knew he was busy and to call me before he got on the plane. He never called.
Hes now out of town. With who? I don't know. Doing what? I don't know. Do I care. Just a little. Now that you know it all what do you think? Does he just want sex or a real relationship? Or, Maybe should I jump ship now. Don't hold back let me have it. I can take it I'm a big girl. LOL
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