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| Posted 5 months ago |
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Comments 0 |
Category Break-Up |
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Me and M.
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For personal reasons i will note the main characters of this story as me and M.
Now lets talk. Everyone who has ever lived, has fallen in love blindly, and everyone has had their eyes opened suddenly by the cold hand of reality. Now i know what our thinking, why is this emo dude writing this crap. Well i just felt like doing so, in hopes that if anyone can learn or maybe reflect on what i write then it was worth it.
Now to start out were me and M first met. We were both part of a youth group in the local church were i was a senior member and she came after me. We meet meet during the the eve of resurrection activities preparation were we talked and well just sort of hanged out while working. From there on we became friends and not to lie, i developed some interest in her. But to be totally honest i was also interested in a few others as my policy is keep doors open to possibilities(not to be confused with being a player). Now at this point my debate was which to go for and a as for M who at the time was 14, was set aside because of my fear that she was maybe not ready for something special.
So the thoughts of me being with M where sent to the back of my head as for the time i was starting college at the age of 17. Many problems appeared including failing grades and any and all relationship possibilities had to be put on hold. A year passed and i did nothing as for my love life. But then that fateful eve before that years resurrection activity it came back. I was talking to my best bud and he told me he needed to speak with me about something. He sad that there was a certain girl that had a really heavy crush on me and i kind of did the math. Turns out my senses were not so useless as i was suspecting this for a while now. So my man started a chain reaction of thoughts that lead to my reflecting on how i felt about her. She was my friend, she was a good person, and i liked her attitude. So I decided to make the move.
But happiness in my heart lasted only seconds as my parents confronted me with some grave problems having to do with my college future, and without know they made a split choose for me. I had to choose over my dream of being an engineer or change to something that worked better. But either choice came with no relationships what so ever. This was hard and i fought that week more than anyone would ever in the history of my college to maintain my dream and in the same way have a chance with M.
It sort of worked out. I got to ask her how she felt, but as most of you do when your put in the spot you say "in not sure how i fell". So i kept at it making everything to reassure her. And the we agreed to give it a shot. I was happy as a dog with a biscuit. I was beautiful and the moments we shared were very special, i even got her a bu cay of her favorite flowers (accidentally) and surprised her one night at her house at 11:00pm.
It lasted 2 months and a half. I was completely sure about how i felt, but she thought otherwise. She told me she was still confused about how she felt about us and needed some time to think. I was crushed to hear this but gave her the space to do so. To tell the truth i felt empty then. I mean its hard to think that after all that both of us did, all that i did, meant nothing. I mean, i traveled from one end of the island to the other for at least one hour to spend with her when i was studding afar. I did things for her that i bet not many could top. Yet i felt that it was for nothing, she didn't stop being confused.
A week passed and she said nothing. Another week passed and she said nothing. Then i say her at a friends celebration and what hurt me was that she was avoiding me.I knew then that she despite my hopes, still wasn't ready to be in a relationship. Then i got pissed and decided not to look for her anymore until she came to me. She did come to me another week later and told me that she had confused her feelings about me and only wished to be my friend and that she didn't want to loose me and our friendship. I said it was ok but that i needed some time to adjust. So we hugged and left.
That same night there was a youth group activity were i say her again. But what happened took me by storm. As i was greeting everyone a went to greet her, but she did nothing to acknowledge that i had arrived even after i stood there for a while. I was pissed at how immaturely she was acting and what a bad friend she was being. But i kept my cool because it was not the place nor the time.
But i let this go, and went on with my life. It seemed that one of my friends got to her about how wrong she was acting as the next time i say her she at least greeted me. But she still cant face up to me.
That's it. That is my story. I learned several things in this life trip. One, fallow your instincts. Mine told me she might not be ready and look at this now. Two, maturity is a key component in a relationship, without it don't think it will work. Three,sometimes you just got to be clear from the beginning, if you aren't then bad things happen later on. And finally, that life keeps moving forward.
This was my experience, and I'm sure I'm not the only one to go trough something similar. I loved her but it was just not meant to be. That's it. Hope you could somehow gain something from this even if you have never been in the same dilemma. So thanks for reading. Hope it helped.
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