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| Posted 4 months ago |
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Category Sexuality |
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Over The First Hurdle
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So my divorce was finalized on January 15. I was with my now ex for 11 years. He was my only love. I was devastated by the split. Now over 6 months later life has returned to some normalcy. I am happier now than I have ever been. My mom (yes my mom, it sounds weird but we are very close friends and talk about everything) has dubbed me a cougar. Every guy that I have had any interest in since my divorce has been younger. And I am not talking 1 or 2 years. They are 20, 21 range while I just turned 30. I really liked this guy at work. I started talking to my friend about him and found out that he liked me too. We hung out a few times and talked a little. He is very shy but of course he is only 21 so I guess that is kind of expected. I finally got tired of waiting for him. I wrote him a note at work (I don't really want all the guys to know what is going on with us, hence the note) that said "I am going out dancing after work and I want you to go. If you don't, I won't bother you again." He didn't say anything to me at work and he left. I thought oh well, at least that is over and I can move on to someone less shy. Until I got to my car and saw he had moved his car next to mine and was waiting for me to get off work. Wow. My heart dropped. I of course was looking good (for a cougar anyway ;-) ) I had gotten changed for a night of dancing. I climbed into his car and left the door open with my legs hanging out. I leaned across the seat and arm rest to elongate my body, to be close to him but not seem too excited. The door was open so that he knew I wasn't too available. My friend was waiting on my because after he left I made plans to go with her to a club. She came over and told me she was going to go ahead without me. I said ok, I'll meet you there in a minute.
I closed the door. He sat there kind of looking down at his phone. He is so shy it is painful. All I kept thinking was "I know you like me, we have talked before, you have asked my friends about me, and here you are waiting for me".
Finally, words. He told me how nice my legs were.
Things get X-rated here so lets just say, like the title says, I am over the first hurdle of divorce. The first hook up is over. I feel good about it. Only because I needed it. After a divorce, you start to wonder if you are pretty, or sexy, or if any man is going to be interested again? If I was prettier or sexier or whatever my ex would not have left me, blah blah blah.
I now know that there are other men out there that find me attractive.
So the guy now is smitten I think. My friend told me that all he said the next day was "Jessica, Jessica, Jessica". He hasn't told anyone what happened, thank goodness. At least if he did, they are good at keeping a secret which, we work in a restaurant and no one in a restaurant is good at keeping a secret. Everyone know everyone else's business.
So I guess I am ready for a real relationship again. Definetely not a serious one but maybe some dating and things like that.
Sorry this was so long. If you made it this far, good for you. If you have been through a similar situation or are feeling the way I felt, let me know. I am feeling good right now and would be happy to help you in any way I can.
Life does continue after divorce. Even for a now single 30 year old woman.
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