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| Posted 3 months ago |
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Category Flirting |
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Summer Love...
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Where to begin? Well his name is Chris….. I knew him from middle school 6th grade to be exact we didn't talk much at the time all we did was have those little bickering fights "ur mama" no "ur mama" we were so childish. I realized at the time that he lived down my street I saw him walk into his house once but nothing much I had my eyes on other guy’s do I didn't worry about him. The year ended so soon from what I could remember we never spoke a lot or at all I know sounds dumb but that’s all we did those little bickering things all year I know really sad lol. After that we never even spoke again I don't think I ever saw him around now that I think about it I did he went out with a couple of girls which were two of my friends at the time.
But anyways High School came along and goodness summer of 07 the summer that would change my life completely, sounds dramatic I know but it really was. I had just finished my sophomore year and it was a good start to the summer it was just another lazy day I had just made a myspace page since I wasn't doing anything and I notice I had a few friends. So I went to one of my friend’s page and looked at her friends just because I needed more and I came across Chris’s page. I thought to myself “why not I knew him before?”, so smart me requested him he added me with in the hour and he wrote me I didn't really think he would but he did. He asked me if I remembered him I said yes the real question was if he remembered me he said yes. It was 4 yrs since I saw him or even said a word to him it wasit because we were mad at each other or nothing like that it was just because at the time we really didn’t know each other well enough to say that we were friends. But anyways we talked back and forth on myspace for a wk or so then I don’t remember how it came up but he asked me if I had ever liked him before. I said no I don’t think so, but then I thought about it and I said yeah it was like a little crush and I was like and u? He said yeah he did like me and he asked me if I liked him now. I got nerves I was like idk and he was like how do u not know? I told him we had just stared taking and he said I was right. Then to keep a conversation going I asked him if he still stayed in such and such street he asked how I knew the street he stayed in and I told him I use to stay there too[ I did move a few years later on but I didn’t move much far from there probley like a block, so it was still close to him].But the next day was when we talked in the morning and he asked if he could come see me since I didn’t stay far from him I was like sure I gave him directions and everything [Now I’m not suggesting to ANYONE to meet up with someone you just started talking through on myspace I already knew him from before okay]I waited and waited...10 at night he logs on he tell me he was sorry he was playing basketball outside and was at work before that. He was sorry he didn’t make it earlier on I was like it okay my mom had came trying to play it off but only I knew I was hurt. I told him I had to go he said okay and the next day I didn’t get on till night he was on and he wrote me I didn’t write back he asked me what was wrong no reply. See the thing was that stupid me didn’t know that they know when u read the messages lol so my icon was hidden but I read every message he sent me. I would say it was around 8 or 10 messages no lie the last one was if u don’t want to talk to me just tell me I didn’t even reply to that one. The thing was later that night I don’t no if he ever got it or opened it but I wrote a long letter of bs told him I had met someone and blah blah blah.I know I was dumb in doing so but with all those messages I felt like I was being stalked or something so I deleted my page and never talked to him again. I didn’t add him or nothing on a new one I made but I was more worried about him finding me again. I mention it to my friends a few times that I was scared I didn’t want him to look for me or anything. They said he wouldn’t then this idea came to my mind “ o lord what if we have a class together this up coming year”, my friends told me na don’t worry about it it wouldn’t happen so I enjoyed the rest of my summer loved it didn’t think about him or anything so happy about life.
August came around my junior year had begun and in one of my classes I was nerves to see who was in my class and what do u know. Suddenly I was looking out to the hallway and I notice Chris walking past my classroom I turn around with shock. He just walks into my classroom looking lost he looks at me and I’m staring back at him the only thing I said was hi. He said hey very surprised, now we didn’t see each other in those same 4 yrs that we didn’t talk, so it was a surprise to both of us how we looked. To make matters even I don’t want to say worse but better we had assigned seats and guess what I sat right next to him. How perfect was that? It was awkward. It was a rough year for me trying to stay in school personal problems so most of the time I wasn’t there, but either way I said to myself one day when I was on the computer once again” hey Chris still has a myspace”. I added him I’m not ganna lie I did like him once I saw him but I don’t want to make it sound like I just liked him for his looks. I know it sounds like that but I still get some credit because I talked to him in the summer not knowing how he looked, the pictures didn’t make a difference both pictures were old. Anyways those days when I was in class we didn’t say a word to each other it was really awkward for both of us, I was kind of sad when I use to get on and he was on he never wrote me but I got what I had deserved. I did think about him more and more he wrote me around November I think and he asked if I had a cell phone and I gave him the number. We texted but not as much as I wanted to but he txted that night I think he was very happy or horny I don’t remember how it stared but he said something about “if you and me were here [his house] what would we do” I told him I didn’t know that it was his house I told him I would have liked to cuddle up with him or something. I asked him what he thought he said the same but if he tried to do something would he let me I told him I didn’t know like what? Then he said something so nasty that I told him I was sorry that I wasn’t like that he said it was all his cousin he had his phone laying a round but that ended that. A few wks passed and he didn’t text back I did get the courage to txt him but he was a real jerk. He said a bunch of bad things and the next day in class he didn’t show up but the last 5 minutes of class but I wanted answers why he was so rude to me because he wasn’t like that before to me. I did text him and I told him the truth that he did hurt me and that I liked him, he said he was sorry that he was with someone that she had his heart and wouldn’t do anything to hurt her [I do think he was still with her during that summer when we talked] but that ended that I tried forgetting him. The semester had ended and I was so happy it was Christmas break turns out I had something big in store for me the second semester he wasn’t in my class anymore. It was okay I did try forgetting him but it was hard not thinking about him he was gone.
Once again March came around I was already forgetting him and what do u know he send me a message through myspace. He ask how I was I told him good and all he asked for my number again and I gave it to him I know nice going I asked him what he didn’t have it he said he got a new cell and didn’t get all the numbers down. I found it reasonable but I told him to text me around 11 at night if he would he said sure. He sent me a text and told me to get at him when I had a chance so I did. We texted a good while that day he was bored and asked me if he could come over, now it was fixing to be 12 at midnight the next day we both had school. I thought he was all talk and wouldn’t come through he said he was coming and we would meet up at a park close by next to my house .I asked him if he was playing he said no he was for real so I waited and there is this person out there I was like what he came=].Omg it was cold out there and we were sitting on the concrete he had shorts and a muscle shirt on. I got smart and took my jacket it was really freaking cold that he wanted something lol,so he put on my sweater and I was like okay now I’m cold so he takes it off he laying there and I say what da heck so I lay down. We are tugging at this one sweater for both that I said screw it I like him that I just got his hand and we locked he didn’t let go so I was like okay he’s not letting go, so we are out in the cold looking up at the stars and Idk it felt magical at that moment. It was great we talked for a while until the lights from my house went on he said he had to go it was around 3 that he left. I was like dang I got school tomorrow it was all good the wk went by quick he texted me that Saturday at 1am he came again we got even closer the second time around it was awesome held hands he got my hand and put it across his chest. I layed on him it was great no kissing but I know I should of he got really close though I know I should have gone for it and this time we had a little cover he put his arms around me and I just felt so safe with him. I got mad that day because he didn’t stay long well he did but I wanted him to stay even longer we. He said he didn’t want to get in trouble again [his mom caught him getting home late the first time] and that he wanted to do more but I didn’t I told him that he didn’t make a move. He said I was right but he didn’t want to do something I didn’t want to I told him I liked what he said it ended on a good not. That Thursday I texted him it was spring break he said he wished I was there with him [in his bed] I told him he should come over he said it was too far and something else he didn’t come.
That next week I found out he got with some girl I was like whatever she wasn’t even pretty I would have giving him credit if she was prettier but no. Up to this date the thought that he let me down hurts he found someone and apparently from what I hear she’s easy I guess that was the only thing he was after. Now that I think about it I was dumb to think that he really did feel something for him. I think it was all karma I let him go I know it was my fault but I really did get scared of him and I was mad at him so much that he didn’t come I regret it each day.
I think about him but who knew, now we are both going to become Seniors this year and its summer time once again I think about him everyday thinking why isn’t he coming I know he has a girl and im not ganna bother writing him ever again no matter how much I want to. But those times he came we talked about everything that I mentioned to him that wow from 07 summer up to 08 spring break who would of thought both of us would be here like this. I still get sad when he’s on and doesn’t write me or text me I think there could have been something more between us but he just didn’t want to apparently. I wanna cry sometimes I know I didn’t have him but we were so close to being something or at least in my mind. The way he touched me, held me, and had me made me thing such things were possible. I don’t know who sounds like a bigger jerk me or him in this I did him wrong he got pay back but it wasn’t ever about payback with me. I did clear things up with him but it wasn’t enough. Well this is my love story sometimes u just got to write down all ur thoughts so ull be free. I think it helped a little but I still miss him omg im out before I start to cry thanks for reading.
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