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| Posted 5 months ago |
Views 19 |
Comments 0 |
Category Flirting |
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The Unfortunate Reality of Games
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This is a true story, based on real facts and characters, the story revolves around a character named Kamran, an Iranian-American, narrated by myself, I always thought of such stories as wasted of time and hated mushy and touchy feelings to creep in me and let alone kicking off don’t want to bring in other names other than my own family if needed though for I want the others privacy to be kept safe for the sake of the privacy. Basically I’m and were loved a lot by my parents, I have a younger sister too, but there is a but, they never showed me their love like I wanted them to, so I just started to wander off like a fragrant seeking more attention and joy in many different figures and subjects and things, I needed more romance in my life right? like everybody else, people at some point need to be loved and sexually satisfied and building bonds and affiliations to reach the love prone crescendo, it’s human nature who seeks food and water and money and love, honor and respect and popularity, but each has a stage, they are tied together like a latticework a web of connections which make a human being complete and devoid of any undesirable effects. normally it’s easier to let people into your heart and to let them nest there a hut of their love for it warms you up and you can take refuge there as your last resort for your piece of mind. But isn’t it rather harder to let them out? I’m currently 23 years old and still student graduating by the end of summer 2008, but then I have master program to go at and then hopefully PHD. My parents and my friends and my girlfriends always had the opportunity to take longer steps for me if you know what I mean, like spending money on me, more love cause they were both financially and emotionally clingy and independent so I have been a demanding person all my life and accepting any kind of help possibly available from them to fulfill my purposes for myself, never got any chance up to this point to pay anyone of my friends and parents back, let alone my ex girlfriends who are now gone and probably feel like what a drag I have been all this time weighing on their shoulders, I always had this hallow emptiness inside of me that I have done nothing for people who loved me, but I hope one day to get the chance to do it, about my girlfriends a little different story though, they all saw me in dire and desperate need for love, it’s basically rather easy to see it through my eyes that I need more love right? Who doesn’t? but my girlfriends sold it to me not financially ,no nothing as such but emotionally selling love is more destructive, I have been let down at some points cause they have been onto me ,people aren’t what they look like ,now every fifth grader knows that, I know it too, however I always make the same old mistake by opening up too early to my girlfriends, and they hold those information against me like a weapon pointed right to my head in case I stray from my path, that means they controlled me and sometimes pushed me around, I’m not what you think I’m ,I’m stronger than what u can see in the story but always had this weak point of letting people in and allowing them to harness hat they need, making them feel superior and more confident ,cause some want to find themselves through me and I welcome them with open arms by allowing them up, but once they reach where they wanted it looks like everything is over and I don’t stand the chance with them no more, my ex girlfriends say they learnt a lot from me, but I made the biggest mistakes by humbling myself and making them higher values, making them feel what I never want them to feel cause I have been there, but it looks like it’s not all about love and compassion, there is something to be proven by them, once I make their self-confidence and self-esteem spiked and reached its highest level them they want someone better, BETTER? like a game once you finish a certain stage you will be rewarded to reach the next level, and these points you have collected can buy you more tools to reach your objectives right?
I never had objectives in my courtship and love affair, I just needed to feel good and have some good company but some visibly after realizing that stab you right in the back cause they just want to move to the next level, I as a giver and more as a taker am a kind of person who would like to have my girlfriend at my own level of self-confidence so we can both be in par and equal, then they would feel more secure. SECURITY is an important matter, where insecurity keeps them closer ,trust me even in marital relationships over and over-excessive security on both sides escalates to breaking up ,that’s why couples should work things out together, I allowed a lots of freedom in my relationship, one could even say we had open relationship, but those who don’t see what I’m doing always misuse this opportunity to prove smarter to themselves, the worst thing about me is that I’m an atheist, an atheist mind considers every possible outcome before taking any particular actions of any essence, therefore most of their actions are predictable to me and I always see it coming, I can’t change myself to suit their games and my surroundings ,I’m what I’m because I’m unwavering and have constants in my life ,true love is however only in stories, but everyone like to believe otherwise ,that they are special and unique, there is no unique in such sense if you ask me, it’s rather like a chess game and got to win to have the player comeback for more games, once you lose whether on purpose to let them enjoy more self-esteem or self-confidence or un-knowingly, then the winner will see a better player right?
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