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| Posted 8 months ago |
Views 20 |
Comments 0 |
Category Flirting |
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Last Night's Journal Entry
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As I have no one to express my feelings to, I write. I am trying to convince myself that he doesn't like me. I have my guard up and it isn't about to budge. he will never stop liking her; but putting me in this position is completely unfair. why is it that when I finally get what I want and I completely hate it. I wanted a boyfriend and he is using me, I wanted JB to like me and he does, but I have a boyfriend. my sister and I have something in common finally but now I don't want it. Any of it. so I lay here in my bed contemplating suicide. that way Sam could have Jordan and vice versa, and JB could find someone knew. so my temporary solution till I can think of something to do is not to talk to Jordan and avoid the subject with JB and Sam..this makes me think that it won't work, or even last long. they are smart, they will figure something is up. now that my love life is out in the open...
My friends-I think that they are better friends with each other rather than me. I honestly don't think they even want to be my friend unless they are separate. Sadie will most likely be the first to know. But she will apologize and then go back to it. she has before when I confronted her. I hate this. I wish I could go back to before all of this but I can't so I need to deal.
Alas,
that sucks.
If I could say anything to
Jordan: I think you are only going out with me to be close to Sam. I am breaking up with you. With everything, I would at least expect you to pretend you don't care for her anymore.
JB: I am sorry for pretending, and flirting. I do like you but I have a boyfriend. We aren't going to last though, but I don't know if I could go out with you.
S/S: I am truly sorry if I got in the way of your friendship. but seriously, do you have to be like this. this completely hurts me inside and you guys can't even tell. Remember that day when I fell and started crying, well I guess it took a trip for it all to hit me. You said that made you sad.. think of what it made me feel like. I am truly sorry if this hurts you but this hurts me too. I was going to just stop being your guys' friend but that is too hard when everything is going wrong. so I will deal.
Goodbye.
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