Crazygirl1984

I'm 24 and attached to a man in jail for the last 16 months now, but he was out for the first 4 months, and feel alot of love for him. I live in Chilliwack BC Canada and don't have alot to do right now.I'm a recovering drug addict and am looking for alot of support , but right now I'm not getting anything, from anyone! My whole life has revolved around men and now I'm all alone, in some words. Two years ago I was in a 8 1/2 yr realtionship and then went to another man and finally to the one I'm with now.See I went to a recovery and left because I wasn't ready now my mans getting out and i want both of us to have a better beginning because all we did before was drugs booze and sex!!! Now I want a better life and i'm scared all the talk from the letters is exactly that just "TALK" Every1 has told me that any man in jail clings onto a woman and are all sweet then they get out and forget all about you. I'm really scared of getting hurt, every boyfreind I've had has cheated and emotionally and physically hurt me, except Wayne( in jail) hasn't hit me. Now u see why I'm a little co-dependant and untrusting? Wayne cheated on me twice in the 4 months he was out and I cheatde on him 2 pay him back, stupid I know but I didn't know what else 2 do? I had a guy who told me what 2 wear, how 2 act and what 2 say! Then I broke free from him and went 2 an even more controlling, abusive man, who I thought loved me because he hit me. Then I wound up with Wayne who paid attention 2 me and every other woman as well. So I am having alot of uneasy feelings about seeing him.He's missed 2 of mine and his b days, 2 valentines xmas and halloweens. And our first year anniversary!! It's alot to make up 4. I just don't know.