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You Can Move On, But Only When The Timing Is Right
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You Can Move On, But Only When The Timing Is Right
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I am a 22 year old male who spent almost five years and $1500 on three separate occasions to propose to my ex-girlfriend. We started dating when I was 17 and she was 14. No, I'm not a pedophile, I am from a small town and didn't want used goods so to speak. Since I was a virgin, I wanted a virgin. Things worked out well for a while, then she started getting scared because I was her first boyfriend and she really started caring about me. On a few different occasions she broke up and went to other guys because she talked to them instead of me. I figured it was just her way or finding how she really felt and I was understanding. I'm not going to even pretend that I was perfect. I made my share of mistakes, but I was always willing to talk and work things out. Last May she decided we should break up and manipulated me into breaking things off in order to be the bad guy and people not hound her about it. Two weeks later she was with my best friend and still is. I suffer from depression and this made things so much worse. One night, when I was at the lowest I've ever been, I took a plastic CD cover and broke it from thinking about things. I picked up the sharpest piece and looked myself in the mirror. I knew if I tried to kill myself it wouldn't be cutting across or even up and down, it would be jamming that sharp piece into my wrist and veins so that if anyone found me bleeding, they wouldn't be able to do anything. I said God help me and right after I said that a friend from home sent me a message on MSN. I talked to them and went to a suicide prevention website. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, I've always known that, but now it has a new meaning. As for my ex, she comes around, sleeps in my bed, wants to hang out, etc. I am currently looking for someone else. I know not all girls are bad and that I have to make an effort to find someone else before I can actually move on. For those who have been hurt, keep trying to move forward, living in the past almost killed me.
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asked 3 days ago
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