Because it depends on what you are looking for. If you have someone in mind that already catches your eye, then you will try to go for it. Usually it's because you feel it will be a challenge, or you can't have it. That person will bring on a fire inside you that has never been lit before, and THAT'S your motive. But as far as someone who may love you, you may reject them for these reasons: -you are simply not looking for love at the moment -they aren't what you want, as far as a "type" -you may know that they easily fall in love, or get attatched too quickly Or it could be another reason, I just find that the ones above are common from what I have seen/experienced. They just don't bring on the same flame, that same excitement, or those butterflies in your stomache. This may sound lame, but those butterflies happen for a reason. When you're nervous it's because you never know what's going to happen next, and when you find that in a person you love, its magic. When someone is too predictable, you don't really get those same butterflies because you know what that person will say/do. It gets too safe and too and that may want to make you to ignore them. I'm not saying the one you love is automatically going to be the daredevil, and the one you don't love is automatically going to be the shy one. I'm saying it all depends on how the person makes YOU feel, not how the other person feels about you. When it comes to finding out if you're in love with someone, I personally believe you have to put yourself first with it.